Alison Lam Blog Archive

Website has moved! (Subscribers to my blog must sign up again)

2011-08-09T16:25:00.004+12:00

After 7 lovely years writing on this blog, the time has come to move on.

With the launch of my new ALISONLAM.com site, I have moved my whole new blog to my new website here. If you have previously subscribed to my blog, you will not automatically receive my new blog posts. ALL PREVIOUS AND NEW SUBSCRIBERS NEED TO SUBSCRIBE BELOW to the new blog if you would like to continue receiving email notifications of my new blog posts, updates, videos and resources (or you can go on over to ALISONLAM.com and directly subscribe there)

And be sure to browse my new website!

ALISONLAM.COM

You’ll never be impressive enough.

2011-07-15T14:03:00.007+12:00

Those of low estate are but a breath;

those of high estate are a delusion;

in the balances they go up;

they are together lighter than a breath.

(Psalm 62:9)

I’m tired of reaching for a horizon that I can never take hold of. I give up. It’s exhausting trying to be impressive, significant, special or fascinating. It takes too much energy and there’s just not enough return. It’s an investment that keeps stealing from me and yet gives nothing back. Nothing. I’m tired of giving all of my focus and energy and heart to things that bear no lasting fruit with my name on it.

I have given too much power to the opinion of man.

I cannot seem to be impressive and fascinating enough to sustain the long-term adoration of any one human being. I’ll never be impressive enough. And even if I did reach the epitome of human significance in the eyes of a beholder, the next day, the very same eyes would wander to a peak in the distance and be on to their next conquest. I can never satiate the eyes of man. I could never be impressive enough. And that’s becoming to me a relief and a healing balm. To man, I’m just not that special. I can breathe again. The pressure’s been lifted.

How fickle are the opinions of man and yet how we lift up their value as though they were gold. We make so weighty what is essentially a vapour.

In reality, it is only the opinion of the Eternal God that matters. We are air; He is the Great Substance. We are the ungrasping wind that slips through our fingers. He is the Eternal Solidity. We are shifting sands. He is Rock. We are not. He is the great ‘I Am’.

It is this great ‘I Am’ who puts His stamp of approval on me, before I’ve put my face on, before I’ve made myself presentable to the world and before I’ve ever let a word out of my mouth.

His approval and His opinion is not based on how awesome I was on a certain occasion or how dazzling I was on one particular day over another. His heart is captivated, solidly captivated with me for no other reason than I am His beloved daughter, chosen before the substance of time was made reality.

O how I have wasted the best energy of my heart on that which is fading away. I have given what is glorious to that which has lost its luster. O how I have run so many mental-marathons, trying to grasp at the temporal opinions of mankind, whose view of me, is but a breath, only a vapour that is here today, gone tomorrow.

Those of low estate are but a breath;

those of high estate are a delusion;

in the balances they go up;

they are together lighter than a breath.

(Psalm 62:9)

I’m not that significant. I’m just not that impressive.

I was never meant to hold the attention of a temporal being. I was made for something much greater; I was created for the satisfied heart of my Creator. And it is here in this truth, this reality, that I find rest for my weary, tired soul.

Lift up your gaze, O weary heart. Return to your rest, O my soul. The heart of God is satisfied with you. You have caught the eye of your Maker. You have His attention and He will never look away. He will not, and He cannot. The God of the Fixed Gaze has set His heart upon you.

O Great Eternal Opinion, you have staked your claim on me, and I am Yours. Nothing else matters.

Truly, nothing else matters.

Others May, You Cannot

2011-07-11T22:12:00.001+12:00

A reflection of the Holy Spirit. This really touched my heart deeply, and I know that this is for some of you. You'll know right away if this is God's word for you.

by G. D. Watson

If God has called you to be really like Christ in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility and put on you such demands of obedience, that He will not allow you to follow other Christians, and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.

Others can brag on themselves, and their work, on their success, on their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing, and if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.

The Lord will let others be honored and put forward, and keep you hid away in obscurity because He wants to produce some choice fragrant fruit for His glory, which can be produced only in the shade.

Others will be allowed to succeed in making money, but it is likely God will keep you poor because he wants you to have something far better than gold and that is a helpless dependence on Him; that He may have the privilege of supplying your needs day by day - out of an unseen treasury.

God will let others be great, but He will keep you small. He will let others do a great work for Him and get credit for it, but He will make you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work you have done, and this will make your reward ten times greater when He comes.

The Holy Spirit will put strict watch over you, with a jealous love, and will rebuke you for little words and feelings, or for wasting your time, which other Christians never seem distressed over.

So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has a right to do what He pleases with His own, and He will not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle your reason in His dealing with you. He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and let other people say and do many things that you cannot do or say.

Settle it forever, that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes, in ways that others are not dealt with.

Now, when you are so possessed with the Living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this particular personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven.

Love, Sex, Marriage, Family, Singleness and the Human Body

2011-07-05T15:40:00.001+12:00

Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West is the best book I’ve ever read on the value of the human body, sexuality, love, relationships, singleness, marriage and children (and I’ve read quite a few). Don’t let the “for Beginners” part throw you off. This book is profoundly deep. It’s definitely not “for Dummies”, but then again, all the dummies out there would be wise to get their hands on this book and get schooled. Seriously. It’s that good. And for all of you high and lofty ones, this book will challenge and stir your heart, leaving you in awe of God’s glorious purposes. So, it’s for any age, any level, any one. Are you human? If your answer is yes, then I commend this book to you.

I finished reading this transformative and foundational book recently and I pretty much highlighted, underlined and starred most of the book. The whole way through I kept thinking, ‘I MUST blog about this book. People need to read this!’ I wish I had read it years ago, but then again, I might not have appreciated the depth of truth presented within its pages back in my younger years, when I just wanted the 10 how-to steps to get a guy. Now, as I’ve grown in my relationship with God, others, myself and the world around me, I realize that it’s only really worth investing my heart, time and energy on literature that is packed with solid biblical and spiritual truths that will set me up for a reality in God that can actually carry me well into eternity. This would be one such book.

If you have ever thought that becoming a Christian or giving your life to God means that you must now repress and reject all things bodily, sexual and sensual, you have been sadly deceived. This book expounds on the whole idea that God and Christianity are “very fleshy, sensual realities. We intimately encounter God through the action of the Holy Spirit upon signs drawn from the material world: through bathing the body with water (baptism); anointing the body with oil (Baptism, anointing of the sick); eating and drinking the Body and Blood of Christ (Communion, Lord’s Supper, Eucharist); the laying on of hands (Anointing of the sick, commissioning for service); confessing with our lips (Repentance); and the unbreakable joining of man and woman in ‘one flesh’ (Marriage)."*

Christianity is all about the body, all about sex, and all about celebrating their value. Does this surprise anyone? I fear that we, as Christians, have often communicated the opposite, appearing as though we are above all things sexual and all things pertaining to the human body. No! The body and sex are central to our faith!

“The problem with our sex-saturated culture is not that it overvalues the body and sex. The problem is that it has failed to see just how valuable the body and sex really are. Christianity does not reject the body! The flesh is the hinge of salvation. We believe in God who is creator of the flesh; we believe in the Word made flesh in order to redeem the flesh; we believe in the resurrection of the flesh, the fulfillment of both the creation and the redemption of the flesh.”* The flesh is so important! God is trying to get our attention! “Spirit and Matter kiss! Heaven and earth embrace in a union that will never end.”*

The book goes on to declare that “the human body is, in itself, a holy sign that makes visible the invisible mystery of God. God wants to reveal Himself to us. He wants to make His invisible, spiritual mystery visible to us so that we can ‘see’ Him.”* God wants to show us Himself through the human body. Jesus Christ became human flesh to reveal God to us! The human body is loudly preaching the fact that God wants to be seen, to be known, and to commune with us in love.

God created the human body (flesh), making us male and female (sexual beings), and then put in us a desire for union (marriage), as a visible sign of the heavenly reality of the communion of love that exists within the Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit). This is a core value of the human heart. There’s no way around it. This is how every single human being on the planet has been made (whether they are dead or alive or yet to be born).

"We study the human body – not as a biological organism, but as a theology, as a study of God."*

This brings such value and dignity to our bodies, to our sexuality, to our relationships (as children, parents, singles, spouses, and friends). I cannot look at the human body or relationships the same anymore. My eyes have been opened to the eternal value of the human body. Our bodies and our relationships with other bodies are basically preaching without words, declaring the mystery and beauty and glory of God. We have no idea just how glorious and dignified our sexual bodies are. We have no idea how full our bodies are with the glory of God. As stated above, our sex-saturated culture has so undervalued the body and sex. It has failed to see just how valuable the body and sex really are.

Upon my commendation, please add this book to your collection. You can read the 1st chapter for free and order the paperback version or e-book Kindle version for dirt cheap on Amazon.com or go find it in a bookstore or at another online book site.

Happy glorious reading to all of you,
Ali

* Quotes taken from the First Chapter of Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West (pages 4-6)

Remembering 12 Years Ago...

2011-07-01T23:09:00.002+12:00

God has blessed me tonight. I am swimming in the sea of the joy of the Lord, basking in the joy of my salvation. God is so detailed. He loves me.

So, tonight, in our Friday night prayer meeting at the Tauranga House of Prayer, we had a visiting family from the House of Prayer in Malaysia come share about what God is doing in Malaysia, and humbly asked us to pray for them and for their nation. I have not crossed paths with any Malaysians in the past 12 years... nor been in a prayer meeting in the past 12 years focused on Malaysia. We prayed for the calling on the nation of Malaysia to have intimacy with God in prayer, overflowing into radical missions and the salvation of multitudes.

It hit me suddenly, part way through the prayer meeting, that this was a divine appointment, a divine reminder of my salvation 12 years ago. While I was visiting relatives in Uganda as a 20-year old, I GOT SAVED BECAUSE OF A MALAYSIAN MAN, who came to preach and prophesy to Ugandans in the little village I was living in. God intervened all those years back, and gave words of knowledge to this Malaysian man, about the deep secrets of my heart, and he obeyed the Lord and spoke them to me. I was completely undone by the accurate knowledge of this man (who had never met me before), and ultimately, I was undone by the truth that the Lord SAW me and KNEW me and CARED so deeply for me, that He would take me out of my comfortable world in Canada, transport me to the other side of the world (Uganda), and then He would send a prophet from Malaysia to come to Uganda and speak a word just for me. How intricately detailed God is. And how infinitely grateful I am, once again, as I remember the joy of my salvation, the joy of coming into relationship with Jesus Christ 12 years ago. I highly recommend you check out the full awesome story of my salvation and divine conversion and encounter with Jesus Christ.

Tonight, in the prayer meeting, I was filled with tears of pure gratitude. Gratitude to God, and gratitude to the Malaysian people. One of them obeyed the Lord and followed Him 12 years ago to another nation, on a mission, and I was the target. God had His bulls-eye on me, and He wanted me and chose me and set His seal of love upon my heart. God pursued me all the way to the other side of the world, and He got my heart. He got what He came for.

Thank you, Malaysia, for answering the call that God has placed on your land, to know the Lord and then go out and bring the knowledge of God to the nations. I am one that was saved through your obedient response.

God, may you bring salvation to Malaysia. May it receive its full inheritance in the Lord. May they go out as prophetic messengers into the nations, from a heart of intimacy and prayer. God, may it be so!

Praise be to God, who loves us so much, and who loves the nations with zeal and passion. If you are reading this, may you hear the call of God to intimate relationship with Him, and the call to the place of prayer, and the call to the nations. He may be whispering to you, and telling you of places you need to go to, and people you need to tell about Jesus. You may just be like that man from Malaysia who spoke the word of the Lord to me and changed my life for eternity.

God, may this blog bear eternal fruit. May lives be saved. May people be reconciled to God through the testimony of the joy of my salvation.

~Alison.

Jesus Plus Nothing

2011-07-01T16:00:00.001+12:00

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about where I base my sense of acceptance, approval, and self-identity. How I see myself, based on where I look for acceptance and approval, is one of the foundational building blocks of my life. The other day I picked up the book, Dealing with the Rejection and Praise of Man by Bob Sorge. One chapter, so far, is especially standing out. The chapter is titled: Your Source of Acceptance. The sub-line simply reads:

JESUS PLUS NOTHING.

Boom. There it is. In all its simplicity, it has hit me like a ton of bricks. My source of acceptance is Jesus plus nothing. I don’t just have His opinion of me and then add the opinions of others “just in case” I need some human acceptance to fill in the gaps that Jesus could not fill. No, Jesus will be the sole source, and He will share this place with no other. No other. I can’t really even communicate how this is impacting me right now. I’m still reeling from this revelation.

So, instead of trying to explain what is shifting in my heart, I’d like to share an excerpt from that chapter in Bob Sorge’s book which simply states what I’m coming to learn:

When God accepts me, I need acceptance from no one else. Now it’s nice to get acceptance from other people. But for the believer it’s not necessary. When we realize we are accepted and embraced by the great God of the universe, the acceptance of people becomes secondary. All I really need is His acceptance. When I have that, I can face rejection from anyone and everyone else.

This is how Jesus lived. He had the Father’s acceptance satisfying His soul on the inside, so He didn’t need anyone else’s acceptance to give Him a sense of self-identity. When the Father said, “This is My beloved Son in whom I am well pleased.” I can imagine Jesus’ heart response being something like, “That’s all I need! Just to know You approve of my life, Father, is enough for me. Now I am complete and at rest in Your affection and approval. I don’t care who rejects me, as long as I know You accept me!”

If the Father is approving of our lives, the world can line up against us, throw rotten tomatoes at us, and call us nasty names – but it won’t wound us on the inside because on the inside we are feeding on the Father’s affirmation.

Jesus knew he could not depend upon the acceptance of man, for men are fickle in their fallenness. The only acceptance that Jesus allowed to feed His Spirit was the acceptance of the Father.

As long as we look to flesh and blood for our approval, we will be snared by seasons of frustration and disappointment. I cannot back down on this point. My message is very direct: JESUS PLUS NOTHING. I need Jesus plus nothing else. When I have Him, I truly need nothing else. When I have His endorsement, I need no one else’s endorsement. When I have His acceptance and approval, I need acceptance and approval from no other source. His acceptance alone is enough.

Note from Bob Sorge later in the chapter: I am not advocating an independent spirit. The Lord has called us to walk in interdependence with our fellow believers in the body of Christ. We must not walk around as though we don’t need the other members of the body in our life, because we need each other! Jesus has constructed His kingdom in such a way that no one person gets the whole picture all the time. We look to each other for encouragement, for counsel, for prayer support, for practical help, for wisdom, for perspective, for correction, etc. But we ought not look for others to be our source of acceptance. Our sense of acceptance comes from God alone.

The Culture of Boys (Boaz vs. The Boys)

2011-06-25T00:17:00.002+12:00

Over the past couple decades, we have seen a growing “Culture of Boys". Boys will be boys for a lot longer nowadays. They have said in studies that the age of entering into “adulthood” and “becoming a man” (which used to be 18) has crept up to the ripe ol’ age of 26 for most males! (I’d even call that stat outdated as I think the age is getting older). This would be the average age when guys assume their actual independence from their original family, leaving home, cleaving to another (getting married), carrying themselves financially without relying on their parents and then having their own children. Back in “the olden days”, guys were leaving and cleaving and supporting their new family units before the age of 20!

This is a huge delay in coming into adulthood! This means that there are a lot of guys running around out there right now that “look” like adults but are, in actuality, just overgrown boys. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like an epidemic. And this is unsettling. How did “I just wanna have fun and enjoy my life” become the vision statement for a whole generation of guys?

It feels like I am frequently coming across guys that take more than they give. I’ve been struck by this reality. It seems the trend is that there are more girls who are taking the guys out for meals and outings, there are more penniless guys than penniless girls and there are more guys that feel okay with continually asking the girls to cover them when it comes time to pay. I know we live in a modern world, where the stakes are a lot more even between males and females, but c’mon, it seems like the scales have tipped in the opposite direction.

Is it just me that feels slightly disturbed by the fact that so many guys feel comfortable with this role-reversal, as if it’s the norm? Even if we live in the age of so-called equality, I would think that if I were a guy, I would feel a desire to give to a girl more than I take from her, regardless of being romantically connected to her or not.

What happened to the guys who give more than they take? Why are there so many boys running around consuming rather than contributing?

What happened to the men?

These days I find myself thinking of the antitype to this Culture of Boys. My mind turns to Boaz. Yes, the very one from the Bible. From the book of Ruth, specifically. If you’re not familiar with the story, I encourage you to read about this man here in Ruth 1-4 which will put my following thoughts into context.

Let me tell you a little bit about Boaz. These aren’t biblical quotes as much as they are my own personal observations about this man and his life. Now I’m not saying that if you, as a guy, don’t have all these things (like a plot of land) that you aren’t a real man. I’m just setting the scene to give the overall picture of Boaz and who he was as a man:

He was steadfast and faithful in the daily things, steady and trustworthy in character, respectful and kind to the people in his life and well-respected in his community.

He had land, he kept his land productive and fruitful through the help of employees/co-workers who were well-taken care of.

He wasn’t a taker. He was a giver.

He did the right thing, even if it cost him his reputation. He preferred to do the right thing (providing for Ruth, a foreign woman from a “heathen” tribe), than to be a people pleaser.

He was into family redemption. He didn’t dishonour his family, but he chose to multiply honour and dignity to his family, by laying down his preferences for the sake of his family.

He led with kindness, giving generous and abundant provision to his co-workers and to his relatives (Naomi) and ultimately, to Ruth, whom he married.

Most importantly, God was number one. He feared the Lord and the opinion of God. He lived a pure, self-less, obedient and God-honouring life.

From observing the life of Boaz, some questions come to mind to think about when pondering the guys/boys/men in your life (I’d also say it’s good to ask these questions of yourself, irregardless of whether you are male or female):

Does he have a spiritual inheritance? Does he have any quality stuff in his heart to give you? Are you gaining any spiritual riches by joining your life to his?

OR Is he a spiritual scavenger? Are you the one always having to give away your spiritual treasures to carry him forward in God?

Does he give generously? (of his heart, his life, his resources, his strength, his time, his self) – this can be done even if you aren’t “rich”

OR Is he the king of stingy? Is he the king of grabbing and grasping at everything he can get for himself?

Does he spend his resources wisely?

OR Does he just spend frivolously on boy toys? Does the idea of budgeting or saving for his future family seem silly to him?

Is he a taker or a giver? Does he look for ways to surprise and bless others?

OR Is he always asking for every freebie and favour possible?

Is he a man of his word?

OR Does he shy away from commitments, flippant with the ones he does make and you “just never know” if he will really follow through with his promises?

Is he steady, stable and have a tangible peace in his heart?

OR Is he moody, inconsistent, always up and down, and a “loose cannon” with his moods?

Is he trusted and well-respected in his community? Is he a blessing to his community?

OR Is he a deadweight, dragging the community down?

Does he provide food and resources (literally and spiritually) to his family and community? Is he giving out what he’s received from the Lord to build and encourage others?

Is he into redemption, restoration and healing in the lives of his family and friends and community? Does his lifestyle value this?

OR Does he tear his family down with little jabs and sarcasm, and distance himself from them when things get challenging?

Is he mature, reliable and responsible? A good law-abiding citizen who doesn’t compromise on the rules and guidelines he is under, no matter how “seemingly” little they are? (ie: pirating music and movies!)

OR Is this dude a baby and a compromiser? Seeking to be taken care of, re-writing the laws to his liking, and making excuses for his compromises?

Can he manage/steward people, property and resources with integrity and wisdom? Does he use wisdom and integrity with the people and things that are in his care?

Is he wise? (or simply, does he have a head on his shoulders?)

OR To put it bluntly, is he a dumb-ass? I mean, God did use “Balaam’s Ass” to speak the word of the Lord once in Numbers 22:22-41 but this was God’s way of emphasizing how hardened the hearts of the people were that he had to stoop so low as to use an ass (a donkey) to get his point across. (So, girls, DON’T STOOP! You’re better than that! And guys, if you’re being a dumb-ass, STOP IT!)

Does he have depth? Can he hold an intelligent conversation?

OR Is he just really shallow and dumb? Doesn’t mean he has to be an Albert Einstein genius; I’m just talking about general depth. Can he hold a decent conversation that extends beyond talking about fast food, video games and punching things.

We girls can get so dooped. We give our hearts, time and energy to charming boys, even if we know deep down they are a waste of time and have nothing of real depth and substance to offer us. I have seen so many girls connect and covenant their lives to boys who have NO spiritual inheritance to offer them, and they give all their treasures to a boy who just wastes them away.

I’m reminded of a hilarious quote my friend sent me a while back. It’s comical but it’s also a serious call to us not to settle for a Counterfeit Boaz:

“While waiting on your Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives...Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyingaz, Cheatingaz, Dumbaz, Downlowaz, Fakeaz, Cryingaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz, Babydaddyaz and especially his third distant cousin Beatyoaz. Please, please, please wait on your Boaz!" (Author Unknown)

Girls, study the life of Boaz. Get a vision for what a real man is. Then you won’t settle for a Counterfeit Boaz. Be willing to wait for a Boaz to show up on the scene and show you the depth of a man.

Guys, study the life of Boaz. Get a vision for what a real man is. Don’t be a Counterfeit Boaz. Be the real deal. And if you’re 18 and older, please stop being a boy. Thank you!

There. I’ve said my peace.

Living in Real Life

2011-05-22T15:05:00.003+12:00

I'm living more in real life these days, rather than living my life in cyber space.

Processing my thoughts more on paper, rather than on a computer.

Reading real books, rather than reading information on websites and social networks.

Spending my hours looking at this vast, expansive beautiful planet, rather than staring at a 13 inch computer screen.

Communicating more face to face, with the people that are in my life in this present moment.

Swing Bridge on hike near Mount Cook

Picking up a pen and pad of paper, writing cards and notes and letters, tucking these pages into an envelope, stamping it with postage stamps that cost money (gasp!), and sending it across oceans.

Speaking to family and friends on the other side of the world, by dialing a real phone number, holding a piece of plastic to my ear to talk to a voice across the miles.

Picturesque picnic posing near Mount Cook

I just want to live in real life these days. I'm sick of unreality. I'm just frustrated with this created world "online" right now. Maybe it's just a season. I don't know...

I don't want to come to the end of my life and say that I lived most of my life through a 13-inch computer screen, and gave my eyes and my time to this little flat rectangular (expensive) box. I don't want to be married to a flippin' computer. I want to be married to real life, to real flesh and blood, to real life.

Charge? Too silly for this world. Verdict? Guilty as charged.

I want to live in the reality of the spirit, not in the reality of the internet. Jesus will not come back to earth, by jumping out of a computer screen and saying "Boo! LOL!". He won't appear to me in a chat box. He will come back to earth, to me, in REAL LIFE, face to face, right in front me, where I can literally behold Him, putting my real flesh and blood hands out to touch His real face. That kind of real. This is what I'm living for.

No, don't panic. I'm not done with the internet forever. This is just how I've been feeling the whole of May, and I'm pretty sure it'll carry on a while longer... I'm enjoying hiding away from the online computer world, so that I can be seen in the real world.

Interesting, calm people I have befriended in my Kiwi travels :)

You're more than welcome to send me a letter or parcel or give me a call (address and phone number here) or write me a good ol' email (I'm still checking it and replying!). I'd love to hear from you, especially as it's my birthday just around the corner (June 2nd).... And if you don't get around to contacting me before or on my birthday, don't worry! I love belated stuff too! The point is... I just want to keep in touch with all of you, the loved ones in my life, from all walks of life, and all corners of the globe.

And in the meantime, just know that I'm doing well... I'm alive, I'm singing, creating, relating, loving, studying, eating, sleeping, laughing, crying, dancing, lamenting, shivering, sweating, and all the highs and lows of real life.

View from my street in Bethlehem, Tauranga

You will occasionally find me on Twitter, "tweeting" what I hope to be valuable and important thoughts. So, you can find me here if you're curious what's on my mind in 140 characters or less :)

Til next time, whenever that is,

Alison

Mt. Athos: A visit to the Holy Mountain

2011-04-30T00:10:00.011+12:00

I'm inviting you to go on a little journey for 30 minutes that will mesmerize you, in silent awe.

Recently over Easter, the CBS TV Documentary show '60 Minutes', was able to get extremely rare access to the monasteries at Mt. Athos, perhaps one of the most sacred places in Christianity. They aired special coverage of the monasteries on Mt. Athos, that have remained in continual prayer and worship and simple, monastic life for over 1000 years. I watched both video clips, MESMERIZED, and in silent awe. I want to bring you into this world that I have just had a mini glimpse of, through these 2 video clips.

Here's the introduction from '60 Minutes' (CBS News) below, followed by the 2 video clips:

"On this Easter Sunday, we're going to take you to a place outside our world. It's not Mars or Venus but it might as well be. It's a remote peninsula in northern Greece that millions believe to be the most sacred spot on Earth. It's called Mount Athos and prayers have been offered there every day, with no interruption, for more than a thousand years. It was set aside by ancient emperors to be the spiritual capital of Orthodox Christianity and has probably changed less over the centuries than any other inhabited place on the planet. The monks come to Mount Athos from all over and do everything they can to keep what they call 'the world' far away." (CBS News)

Video Part 1 (14 mins): http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7363712n&tag=contentMain;contentAux

Video Part 2 (13 mins): http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7363715n&tag=contentMain;contentAux

The Monastery is Burning...

2011-04-21T21:31:00.000+12:00

I am always drawn to anything that mentions monasteries. I read about them in the writings of Christians throughout the centuries and have a special love and admiration for these mysteriously beautiful places. The beautiful mystery of a monastery, where God divinely gathers a community of people who voluntarily come to live simply and uncelebrated, under religious vows, out of devotion to God.

Maybe that is part of my motivation in joining a mission community in the furthest country from my birthplace, to join my heart with other Christians devoted to the worship and adoration of God day and night.

We haven’t made life-long vows of celibacy (though some may have done so); we are made up of young and old, married couples, families, single adults, many who desire to be married one day and some who may remain single. We have committed to the fasted lifestyle of the Sermon on the Mount and the Beatitude heart (Matthew 5-7), living simply, living obediently, living with generous hearts, living in chaste purity as marrieds and singles, and daily devoting ourselves to prayer, worship, and the study of the Word of God.

I see the monastery as a place within the heart. Let’s call it “the monastery of the heart”. In the same way, I see that we are all, whether single or married, a “monk of the heart”. Our hearts are devoted, with the first and centre of our heart, to our Beloved Christ. He is the Face we behold; He is the heart to whom we are joined. He is the Eternal Companion of our eternal soul, the one we cling to on this earth in this age, and who we cling to in the heavenly age to come. No matter the human companionship we may be surrounded with in this lifetime, He is the Eternal Companion, to whom we are all monks, set apart in eternity for the One, the Only, the First and Last of all creation, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and End. To this One we owe the entirety of our hearts.

This is the monastery of the heart, to which I am irrevocably drawn, day after day. When the noise of this life seems to crowd in on me, and the pounding ache of a Greater Day echoes deep in my soul, I return to this place, this monastery, this mysterious place of beauty. It is here that I find peace; I find ‘shalom’, a place to breathe, to find life again.

In recent times, I have seen a monastery on a green hill in my heart, with its simple, solid buildings set on rolling green fields, cobblestone paths connecting them, with a spattering of shady trees throughout, moving gently to the soft breeze. A deep stillness, yet a powerful energy invisibly flowing through it. There is a sense of dignified solidity to this place. A weight of glory rests here, joined with lilting lightness of heart. The perfect blend of solemnity and sobriety, and exhilarating, delirious intoxication of the Spirit, all secretly contained within the embodied hearts that walk this place.

The other day, though, the match was struck, and the fire came. First, in the main lounge, the very heart of the monastery. It started with the portraits hung on the humble walls. The Faces contained in the intricately carved frames, started to burn, to blaze ferociously. They would not let up. These are the Faces of God; every framed Face throughout each room was burning. Then the entire room burst into flame, with a power that knocked me to my knees. I had to surrender to the fire that overtook this once calm world of mine.

I cannot contain this blazing flame, this consuming fire. I can’t even try. I won’t even try. It has consumed the monastery on a hill. And now all I see is a monastery on fire. A blazing monastery. The portraits won’t stop their constant burning, all the rooms are aflame, with a constant, unrelenting fire. But the place is not burning up. It is just burning.

The monastery is burning.

And somehow I must call this blazing sanctuary my home, my fiery abode.

The monastery is burning.

The burning monastery of my heart, where the consuming love of my Eternal Companion, resides and burns within me.

The monastery is burning.

The Face of our Heart

2011-04-17T15:17:00.002+12:00

“For they have turned their back to Me, and not their face.”

(Jeremiah 2:27b)

I pondered this verse over the past week in the prayer room. I can’t seem to get past it. It keeps drawing me back, like a magnet. It’s gripping my heart, tightly. It’s threatening to shatter that dark corner of my heart that still thinks that God could be cold, heartless and distant.

You see, this verse is from the mouth of the Lord, through His prophet Jeremiah, “the weeping prophet”, who carried the heart and the burden of the Lord for His people, Israel.

Let me write the verse again, this time though, seeing it come from the mouth of God Himself.

God is crying out, “For they have turned their back to Me, and not their face.”

This is not an angry God, accusing the Israelites of breaking a law. This is a Bridegroom God, declaring to His Beloved that they are breaking a Heart. His. God has a beating heart, a REAL heart. A heart more real than we probably realize. This is the cry of a heartbroken Husband that longs to see the face of His beloved.

In a very raw way, God is showing us that authentic relationships are built and founded upon the simple turning of a face, to face the other. Face to face is all that matters to Him. This is everything to Him. It’s all about face to face fellowship.

In this one verse, I do not see the emphasis on the Israelites turning their backs to God. I see ALL the emphasis on the fact that all God wanted was to see their FACE. He didn’t want to see their back. He wanted to see their face. He loves their face.

It’s all in the face.

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. They are the doorway, the invitation into relationship. If you look someone in the eye, you are inviting them to connect with you. When your lips turn upward, into a smile, you are giving them a message: you acknowledge that they are there, that they exist, and that you are glad that they do. Further still, when words are spoken, relationship deepens. It is this way with God and Israel. It is this way with God and us. It is this way with God and me.

I cannot engage in relationship with God, with my back to Him. I must turn my face toward Him, so He can see my eyes, and find my smile, my voice, my words, inviting Him into deeper relationship with me. The real me.

I was asking God over the past few days, “What does it mean to turn my face toward You, God? Surely it’s not that I’m always looking UP?” (because somehow we think that God is in Heaven somewhere “UP THERE” and “OUT THERE”).

I felt the Lord nudge me with the idea that it is not the direction I turn my literal face, it is a position of the heart. It is not that I’ve got to figure out where God is, and then face that place and that direction LITERALLY. It’s that my heart has a face, and it’s how I position my heart to face God’s face, God’s heart.

The face of our heart.

Our hearts have a face. And our heart is written all over our face. We turn our hearts toward God. We position our heart to face God’s heart. We open our hearts to Him. We open our thoughts to Him. We look at Him with the focus of our mind, our thoughts, our heart. We focus on Him. We acknowledge Him. We don’t ignore Him. We say He exists and that we LIKE that He exists. We talk to Him. We sing to Him. We invite Him to come with us into our daily lives. We get His thoughts on things. We ask His opinion. We ask Him what He likes and what He doesn’t like. We ask Him what bugs Him, and what makes Him laugh. We joke with Him. We go on adventures with Him. We get real with Him with our aches and pains and troubles. We face Him with our real life, and we invite Him into it. We don’t hold back our real selves from Him.

This is just a little taste of what it is to face Him, with the face of our heart.

This verse isn’t just about God’s desire to have US face HIM. But I see this as proof that God desires to FACE US HIMSELF. He desires to give back to us the face of His heart. His face, His heart, He desires to show us. He would not ask us to turn to face Him, just so He could turn His back to us, and shun us, and give us the cold shoulder. No, God is waiting, with His face to us, ready to give us all of Himself. What a beautiful, beautiful God. This God who ever lives to face us every single day of our lives, and show Himself to us, to look at us in the eyes, to connect, to invite us into relationship with HIM, and to see the upturning of His mouth into a rich smile, with a glint in His eyes, that tells everything. He sees that I exist, and not only just acknowledges that I’m there in front of Him, but that He LIKES that I’m there face to face with Him. He LIKES that I exist. He wants me. God wants me.

And then He opens His mouth – and speaks. Sometimes He shares a lot, and sometimes it’s just a short ‘Hello,’ but even with one word, directed to me specifically, is the sweetest thing in the world, just knowing that God sees me. I exist to Him. Wow.

And to think I’d overlooked that verse in the 2nd chapter of the book of Jeremiah for years, not realizing how beautiful a reality was tucked away in one short phrase from the mouth of God.

“For they have turned their back to Me, and not their face.” (Jeremiah 2:27b)

Selah. Ponder that.

The Call to Anguish: God's Call to His Church

2011-04-03T17:57:00.002+12:00

This morning, I went to Bethlehem Baptist Church, and the guest speaker was David Pierce, author of the "Rock Priest" from Steiger International. He floored me, with his raw passion for God, and his fierce commitment to the Cross of Christ, humility before God and reaching the lost in the world. He ended his sermon with this video from David Wilkerson called "A Call to Anguish". It has wrecked me. By the end, most of the congregation was weeping, and on their knees in deep repentance before God, sprawled on the floor around the altar, crying out to God for mercy and for His transforming forgiveness to change our cold, hard unbroken hearts.

If we watched this video once a week for the rest of our life (AND THEN RESPONDED TO GOD), MAYBE just MAYBE we would have a glimpse at the all-consuming power of God to change the world, one human heart at a time.... If you want to continue on with the "SAME OLD, SAME OLD" in your Christian walk, DO NOT PRESS PLAY and watch this 7-minute video. It has undone me and it will undo your own heart.

In the church (the Bride of Christ), we have lost our anguish. Anguish unites us to the agony in God's heart, compelling us to pray and weep for the world, carrying God's own burden and His own anguish in our own hearts.

I think this is KEY in the season we are in as the nation of New Zealand (and the rest of the world), in light of the disasters, as God is trying to break the heart of the Bride of Christ, so she will respond in brokenness, humility and repentance and return in wholeheartedness to her Bridegroom God.

Take 7 minutes to watch. And then let us all personally respond to Jesus Christ.

"All true passion is born out of anguish. All true passion for Christ comes out of a baptism of anguish. A true prayer life begins at the place of anguish." (David Wilkerson)

[If you can't see the embedded video, view it here: http://www.youtube.com/embed/rvaivkIz7Oo]

The Unfolding of the Snail's Journey

2011-04-01T12:54:00.001+13:00

Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. (James 5:7)

Do you ever feel like your idea of timing and seasons and God's idea of timing and seasons are a little out of sync? I know I feel that way (often!). I am not a naturally patient person (but then again, is there such a thing as a 'naturally' patient person?). I want things now, or yesterday is even better. I don't like to wait. I especially don't like to wait in boredom. I mean, we can easily forget about the wait if we get sidetracked and distracted by something fascinating and interesting, right? So, it's really an issue of waiting in the midst of DISSATISFACTION and DISCONTENTMENT, because if we are content and satisfied WHILE waiting, then we find patience much easier, and it doesn't feel like we are waiting. But what I'm speaking of is the kind of patience in waiting when you are hoping for something, or waiting for something you desire, or waiting and believing for something that is SUPPOSED to come, and it is meant to come SOON. It's "the approaching soon" part that knocks us over, and breeds impatience. When something is "just around the bend", that's when we feel the burn the most. That's where the pain kicks up a notch. That's when it goes against the grain to have to sit back and wait, when we feel ready to grab it RIGHT NOW.

Today, as I sat in the prayer room, waiting on God, waiting on life, I had this picture of a snail in a race. Well, the idea of a snail in a race is hilarious to begin with, right? Can a snail even "race"? But isn't that how it feels sometimes? We feel like our hearts are a racehorse, but we've been put in the harness of a snail's body, forced to slide-ever-so-slowly-through-life, becoming all too familiar with the dirt under our feet which seem planted in one spot, going round and round the same ol' thing day after day. Our hearts are visionary world-travelers, but we feel like we are living like a snail, on a million mile journey, making "progress" inch by inch. The proverbial gold at the end of the rainbow seems like a horizon that's always out of reach.

But I guess we must find some joy in the fact that our hearts' gaze is enlightened enough to see "the light at the end of the tunnel", so to speak. The fact that we can even see that far ahead, is some sort of feat for the human heart, isn't it? If something is not in our gaze (however far or near it seems), we will not desire and long for it. When something is within our line of sight, within our grasp, within the reach of our heart's longing, we become aware of the gap between reality and fulfillment, so acutely aware of the wait. The long, hard wait.

They say that patience is long-suffering. Or to put it another way, waiting is suffering for a long time. Waiting is extended pain. Impatience is the intense hatred of this pain, this suffering, and fighting its reality.

Love suffers long and is kind. (1 Cor 13:4)

No one likes pain. No one likes to suffer. I certainly raise my protest against it. But God's Word is filled with the reality of the blessedness of waiting, of pain. If there is no pain, there is no gain. If there is no longing, there is no love. What? Really? Can we not get the rose without the thorn, God? Longing is both deeply lovely and devastatingly painful. Look at the love and longing of Christ at Golgotha. As we see at the Cross of Christ, life comes out of death. There is no resurrection, without first a dying. There is no fulfillment of a dream, unless there is first a torturous longing for a dream to be fulfilled.

We fight this longing. Longing doesn't feel good. I know it shows us that our heart is alive and is in working order (that we are able to long in the first place), but does it have to hurt so much? Does it have to be so painful?

This is the predicament of the snail. We're stuck. We cannot avoid the wait, and we cannot abandon the longing. We can try and stuff it down, kill it, fight against it, get angry at it, preach it away, or satisfy it with inferior pleasures, but it remains. It remains.

The unfolding of a snail's journey seems painstakingly slow, in the mind of a racehorse (that's me), but the unhurried unfolding is necessary. I'm (slowly) learning that life is not a race. Life is a deeply-intentional, divinely-orchestrated journey, made up of deliberate steps, one after another after another. And this life has been custom-crafted by God, and the unfolding of my heart and my journey is worth the wait, worth each snail-like slide forward.

God, give me grace to enjoy the slow-slide, one mini inch at a time.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. (Rom 8:25)

Sincerely,
Alison the Snail-Racehorse

For more on this topic from my blogs:

Be Patient: Life and Love Take Time to Unfold

The Intoxication of God Within a Human Body

2011-03-26T00:18:00.003+13:00

[Disclaimer: This is a very vulnerable, raw, honest piece of writing. I am compelled to share this. I am not sharing this to boast or defend myself or get any recognition. I share simply to invite you into the realm of personally encountering God, believing that this is our inheritance.]

I am currently writing this while I am intoxicated. Intoxicated by the Holy Spirit, the One that glorifies Jesus Christ, and who comes from the Father of Heaven, the God of the Universe. I am not drunk with wine. I am intoxicated by God. I do not consume wine. I consume the presence of God. Why waste my money on a fermented liquid that will not satisfy and does not quench my thirst? What is the point of that? What is my alternative drink of choice for quenching this deep thirst? I choose to have a full overdose of THE GLORY OF GOD to fill my entire body, soul and spirit, thank you very much. Yes, please, I’ll have some MORE. And more and more and more. I will never stop asking for MORE.

Some may think that when a Christian (such as myself) gets drunk in the Spirit, that it is a mockery to the reverence and majesty of God, and that it is just a selfish joy-ride, to get my emotional-kicks and have a “feel-good” experience, and thus, avoid and ignore the “serious” things of God. I beg to contradict this accusation (an accusation that happens in many a heart when they look at me –-or others—who are drunk in the Spirit). Again, I can only share what happens to me personally, so I cannot claim that this is the same experience for others, but let one voice (mine) at least try and bring you inside the experience, and invite you in. Are you curious? Come, come, all of you. It’s time to enter into my encounter.

I am going to share what happens to me when I enter into these encounters with God that overcome my body, and take me into what I can only describe as a state of intoxication (or to say it bluntly, drunkenness) in the Spirit.

I do not come into these encounters with ANY purpose or focus on having a personal joy-ride and getting overdosed with joy and drunkenness. Almost 100% of the time, it starts with entering into a time of intense, wholehearted worship and praise and adoration of God, where God reveals Himself as THE HOLY GOD, majestic and perfect in splendor, overwhelming in His purity and perfection, and utterly powerful and majestic in His royal Kingship and Sovereign leadership of the heavens and the earth. In these times, I am assaulted by the sheer perfection of God. I am undone. I am unworthy. How can I stand before this God? Me, a sinful, weak human being, full of compromise and corruption and distraction in my heart. In the midst of this deep awareness of GOD, I am swept up into a place of such deep awareness of my complete lack of holiness, my complete lack of ability to love this God, and my complete lack of nearness to God.

There is a veil between Him and me, between my body and my heart and HIS HEAVENLY THRONE AND HIS FACE. I cannot seem to get to Him, in my fallen and sinful state. I am broken and I can’t get to Him... but I want Him. Somehow I want Him so bad. He is holy, and I bow in reverence to Him. Even though I am a sinner, I can’t help but think that He is my heart’s desire, the desire of my soul. Somehow, I long to bow to Him. I can’t seem to help it. He shows up. I must bow in reverence. I CAN'T STOP IT. I must.

Mixed in with this reverence, is an ache in my heart of hearts to KNOW HIM. An ache to SEE HIM. An ache to TOUCH HIM. An ache to ENCOUNTER AND EXPERIENCE THIS GOD. An ache to touch HOLINESS, ITSELF. An ache that burns in me to be freed from this earthen prison (my physical body) so that I can BE WITH HIM.

On earth and in this body, I experience such a devastating gap and separation and distance from HIM. This earth, and this body and this reality keep me from HIM, THE DESIRE OF MY HEART. The ONE I was made for. This is tragic. The tragedy becomes overwhelming. And this is where I bow my heart in true longing and yearning for God. And I fling off the sins of my day, the accusations of my heart against God, the compromises that I excused and defended earlier in the day, all those little offences that kept me from Him... I fling them off! I fling them off, counting them pointless and worthless, in comparison to this ONE MOMENT, THIS ONE CHANCE I have to possibly enter into a deeper encounter with THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE. This could be my only chance. I fling my heart open, and fling my arms wide open (literally) and throw off restraint, and throw off control. I throw off the opinions of man, I throw off the fear of man, I throw off the strict control I harness myself with to appear normal and sane to the people around me. I throw those shackles off, for the chance (THIS ONE CHANCE) to meet with God face to face. FACE TO FACE. I have but this one moment. This could be my only chance. I must not let it pass me by. I jump in, and I close my eyes, and picture His face leaning into my face. I picture Him so near, so close. And I am overwhelmed. And then He comes closer. Sometimes He whispers. Sometimes He comes with a fierce shout of His power. Sometimes He just holds my gaze. And I am overcome. I am overwhelmed. (Just so you know, this all can be happening IN MY SEAT, in stillness --but often with my arms up in the air, raised and open to Heaven, a sign of my abandonment and surrender. It is often NOT in a time of excited dancing and swirling movement. It’s in a seemingly normal position.)

And in tonight’s case, the Lord as He showed up in His nearness, spoke to me, repeating my calling to me that I’m to look at Him and never look away. And every time He says it, I am always humbled. Me? Why me? Why do You choose ME to look at YOU? Why do You desire me to look at you with a locked gaze, never to look away? Why do You desire my devoted eyes with such ferocious hunger? I have been the Queen of the impure gaze, and I have beheld such filth in my life. Me? You pick me? None of my protests seem to make God flinch. He just continues to look at me. Steady gaze. He is so steady. His gaze so constant. And my response? I can’t seem to choose anything BUT COMPLETELY ABANDONING MYSELF TO HIS WILL, TO HIS CALL, TO HIS DESIRE. So I surrender. I say yes. I tell Him He can do whatever He wants with my life, with my heart, with ME. I will obey, no matter what. It is my heart’s desire. It doesn’t matter that I am not worthy. He is worthy. He has spoken and asked this of me. I will obey, I will do it. I will not question why You ask this of me, God. I will just say yes.

THIS is where my body begins to experience more of His power, physically. In this place of humility, bowing my whole self in reverence to His Sovereign Rule, He shakes me to the core. My body, being earthly, cannot fully contain the INDWELLING PRESENCE OF GOD. But somehow, as I empty myself out for Him here, HE COMES TO FILL ME WITH HIS GLORY. HIS VERY PRESENCE. And I cannot contain Him. My Spirit, though it is invisible, is within me, and contained within this physical body (at least in this lifetime it is in this feeble human frame). My human frame cannot contain God. But God has said that I am His temple. I am His dwelling place. I am His tabernacle, His sanctuary, His home. And so He comes to fill me. He comes to make His abode in me. And I cannot contain Him. Often, in this state, if I try and stand, or walk, I find it very hard. I am too overwhelmed by such an awareness of THIS HUGE GOD, that I can’t do the everyday-normal-activities anymore, like stand, walk, and talk. My body can’t seem to hold itself up. The weight of His glory is too much for me. And so, I crumble to the ground, or I flop over in a heap suddenly, or sometimes come crashing down, or sometimes even gradually and graciously lowering myself down to sit on the ground. Or sometimes I just have to lie down, outstretched.

There’s something so freeing and burden-lifting about fully letting yourself be overcome by God’s power. Acknowledging that I am weak, and He is powerful. My body is limp and powerless against Him. His POWER wins. His GLORY trumps any of my human strength. So why fight it? I’ve learned not to. I don’t fight it. I just go with it. Why even try to stay strong and in control? I fling that expectation off, and let it go! What a relief!! It’s usually in this place on the ground, that I can let out a big sigh of relief. He is God. I am not. He is strong. I am not. He is in control. I am not. I am just an empty vessel. An empty wineskin. He is the living water. He is the wine. He is the substance that intoxicates.

In this place of deep, deep relief, I begin to feel the bubbling up of laughter. As I just ponder the reality of HIS POWER, and HIS STRENGTH, and HIS GLORY, and HIS HOLINESS, and HIS ALL-CONSUMING SELF, I just want to laugh. Little ol’ me, who thought I was “all that” and “so important” and “so significant”, has been trumped by GOD. It’s hilarious. It just seems so hilarious to me. And deep laughter wells up within me. And I cannot contain it. It’s really so funny. THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE, choosing to fill weak ol’ me WITH THE FULLNESS OF HIS BEING. There is nothing funnier in all the world. It’s the most unequally yoked relationship of all time. And it’s hilarious. GOD has come near to ME. ME! ME!! I can go around and around and around this one thought, going from laughter to crying, and right back to laughter, and then right back to crying, completely intoxicated and consumed by the power of God and the reality that He has chosen ME.

This usually takes me into a place where I am unable to drive myself home. I am literally intoxicated by the Spirit. My body is quaking. GOD IS IN ME. I can’t drive. I can barely walk. I can’t really talk logically for a while. Sometimes I snap out of the intoxicated state quickly and I’m back to normal, but sometimes it carries on, so if that happens, I get a drive home.

Some people laugh at me. Some are entertained. Some are confused or offended. Some are jealous. Some, simply curious. Many reactions. I may act a little stupid. You may think I’m a little stupid (or a lot), but frankly, your opinion of me does not mean as much as the FINAL AND ETERNAL OPINION OF GOD. And guess what? God doesn’t seem to mind me like this. He seems to be pleased that I’ve surrendered myself in humble reverence to HIM. He seems to be overjoyed that I desire to let Him have His way in my life. He seems elated that I desire His power to fill me, no matter what it does to me. He seems to love that I give up control of my reputation and my life and my will, so that He can take control and completely consume my life. (When it all comes down to it, it's really about being consumed by His love, and freely surrendering yourself in loving obedience to God. It really has nothing to do with a physical manifestation. It's really just an outworking of a deep, inner work in your spirit. But boy is it awesome to experience God physically and in your emotions. And I believe it is lovely to desire it, too. No, you don't focus on a manifestation as the centre of your pursuit, but yes, you can desire it!)

When I get home, and I’m in the privacy of my home, the encounter often turns into a time of weeping from a deep well in my soul. Crying out for His reality to transform my life, for Him to break into my life in such a way that I can live this life on earth worthy of Him. I cry out for forgiveness. I call upon His heart of mercy to fall upon me and cleanse me from all impurity. I cry out for intimacy with Him. For oneness. For communion. I cry out with longing, “COME LORD JESUS!” because I will not find my soul’s final rest until He is with me face to face. I find that this is usually the culmination of my encounters with God. The most sobering heart-felt cries from my frail heart to God’s strong heart.

So, most of you will just see the earlier public portion where it seems quite “hilarious” and “silly”. Most of you will never see how these drunken encounters crescendo in the secret place, drawing me into a place of deep repentance, and cleansing and intimate prayers that can only be shared between the Bridegroom God and His beloved bride.

And so, those of you on the outside, peering in at me, as I am experiencing all of this, may think that I am just playing around and being irreverent. No, this is so deeply serious and deeply reverent. The intoxication of God within a human body is so deeply holy.

And I long for all of you to enter this realm of encounter. We will all encounter God uniquely, and no two people will experience the same thing with God, but I can say, without a doubt in my heart, that God desires to personally encounter EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US ON THIS EARTH, if we would just open ourselves up to truly worship and adore Him, with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength, longing and thirsting after Him, and crying out for Him to fill us with Himself, the undiluted essence of GOD HIMSELF. Then watch as He pours Himself out on you, with all of His heart, mind, soul and strength. He is so deeply good and so deeply generous, and He is so deeply seeking after YOUR heart.

So I will end with that. I'm spent. It's been a long day. And I have poured myself out in honesty here. So, there you have it. The Lord is sending out an invitation to encounter Him. The door is open. He is near. ENTER IN.

Alison.

Speaking to the Around the World DTS on "The Cross"

2011-03-15T14:18:00.060+13:00

[If you cannot see the photos, please view this in your web browser here.]

I’m writing from my home in Tauranga once again. I had the smoothest flight back from Christchurch to Tauranga last Friday night, only to find out upon my arrival, that Japan had been hit by a huge earthquake and tsunami around the time I was flying. So surreal, how we can have smooth sailing on one side of the planet, and then on another side, the whole world is getting rocked. We're living in an intense season of history.

Many of you wanted to hear how the whole week went at the YWAM Oxford base with the Around the World DTS school. So here’s a little recap!

The view of the Southern Alps from the plane

I flew into Christchurch two weekends ago. Julie Anna and Jeremy picked me up from the airport and we had a chance to drive through the city, seeing the devastated areas near the city centre. It’s shocking, really. Army tanks and army officials guarding the blocked off streets, piles of liquefaction silt lining every street, a strange dust and smell floating in the air, reminding me of the smog of Asia, and bumpy driving as you drive over some roads that are now slanted or cracked, when once they were flat and straight. We’d drive by a perfect row of houses and shops, and then turn a corner, and the entire street is demolished and in ruins. This is Christchurch now. Heartbreaking and surreal, but I sense redemption and restoration in the air. God is coming to touch the city that bears His Son’s name. I feel it in the air, and in my spirit. At some point, I'll share my thoughts on the earthquake here. So, stay tuned on that and bookmark my blog (http://alisonlam.com)

Liquefaction silt piles on a Christchurch golf course. This silt covered most of the city.

I went to a meeting last year at this now-demolished church. Crazy.

The fate of hundreds of buildings and shops in Christchurch...

Army officers + army vehicles are now a normal sight on most city streets

In light of the global earthquakes and tsunamis of recent times, we are calling the nation into a focused time of worship, prayer and seeking God's face. Here at the Tauranga House of Prayer, we are hosting a conference and sacred assembly called BEFORE THY FACE next month in Tauranga, the 14th-16th of April. We have Allen Hood, Ryan Kondo both from IHOP-KC, as well as New Zealand's own Cindy Ruakere and Kristen Williams, who are coming to speak and lead worship. If you are in New Zealand at that time, please come. We are gathering the nation to seek God's face! Check out the event website for details: http://beforethyface.co.nz

Back to the week of teaching in the south island...

I had a blast all week, teaching the 30+ staff and students of the Around the World DTS. They truly were an eager, spiritually-sensitive crew, with hunger to know the Lord more. I have a bunch of really good friends on the staff and leadership of the school, so it was awesome to be able to see them all pouring out their lives and hearts, ministering to the Lord and to the students. I started the week sharing my whole life story, with all the shame and secrets of my past that God has freed me from, knowing that the Lord would bring freedom through this, and that He would show others that GOD CAN TRULY REDEEM EVERY SINGLE THING IN OUR LIVES. Everything in the darkness can be brought into the light. And boy did He ever do what He promised! Students and staff came into the light hard-core, getting set free from shame and guilt! What freedom the Lord brought to the school (and so early on)! I was in awe of the Holy Spirit's handiwork and felt so honoured to be a part of what God loves to do with His beloved kiddies. Transform us! He really loves us. He loves to redeem, and He loves to forgive, and He delights in mercy. He loves to exchange our hard, calloused, stubborn hearts, for a new heart that is tender, responsive, soft and free (Ezekiel 36:26). Again, I'm just pinching myself that God allowed me to be a part of His transforming process, and that He was able to come with such gentle power so early on in the school (Week 2 of school, but the 1st actual week of full lectures for the students). God is good.

I spoke on the topic of "The Cross" which God has burned into my heart especially over the past year or so. With the foundation of the love of God to start off the week, we then dove into the weighty teaching on sin, and the CROSS OF CHRIST. Moving further in, we went into Communion with Christ at the Cross, and then further into teaching on Repentance, Forgiveness, Clear Conscience, and Freedom from Shame and Guilt. Beyond that, we had some key times of ministry and meeting with God, and testimonies of God’s power to bring freedom and forgiveness! At one point, the students were up preaching and declaring the miracles He was doing in their hearts and I could sit back and just thank God for His goodness. It's refreshing to have some times where you let the students take over, and let them declare the messages He is now burning in their hearts. About mid-way through the week, I was done hearing my voice! Haha.... You know when you think, 'Ok, I've heard myself enough this week! I'm so over hearing my self!' So, we were able to break it up with some times where the Holy Spirit ministered, and where staff and students got up to speak and share. I also had you all praying for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. And He did pour Himself out! I taught a bit on the Holy Spirit, to de-mystify Him and show everyone our great need of Him. And then proceeded to give an altar call for receiving the infilling of His Spirit! I was in awe of how He poured Himself out, in power and in gentleness and in truth. Finally, at the end, we went further into how we live the Crucified life and how we respond to what Christ did for us. How do we live? How do we walk in freedom and holiness? How do we relate to one another in light of the Cross?

The final morning gathering around the cross with the Around the World DTS crew!

So, as we know in our life with God, it is a process and a journey, and it was only ONE week of many that the students will experience, but what I can say is that I poured myself out --all out-- making room for the Holy Spirit to move, and then I let the Lord do what only He can do, as I step away, and let Him complete the work that He has started in each individual on the school.

Overall, it was a beautiful week. I was also able to hang out with some of my lovely dear YWAM Oxford friends. I got to catch up with some of the school staff who I hadn't seen in a year (and in one case --Sarah Racine--who I hadn't seen in 4 yrs!)

I want to thank everyone that prayed for me for that whole week. It was because of the Lord hearing your prayers that lives are being transformed. Please know that your prayers have born much fruit! I was strengthened all week, growing more filled up with each passing day (the fulfillment of a prophetic word I was given by a friend in Tauranga). I poured all of myself out, and He was faithful to fill me back up and bring an overflow. I am not exhausted after it all!

Also, I have another praise report! Someone surprised me at the end of the week with a monetary gift (still don’t know who... one of the staff or students I assume). I had no cash on me for the month of March, and boom, now I have some cash to get me through the next couple weeks! God has a way of answering my prayers perfectly. He is taking good care of me. And keeping me on the edge of my seat, this faith-adventure ;)

So, that’s the update from the south island!

Now that I’m back in Tauranga, I’ll be joining the worship teams in the House of Prayer, singing and playing guitar. It’s a new season. Your prayers are appreciated, as it is just another step that is leading me out from my season of hiding away with the Lord in silence and solitude (last year's season of stepping back from ministry)! No more hiding, Ali! Haha. I’ll be sticking around Tauranga for the next while, with a couple more DTS teaching times at the end of April and possibly mid July. But my main ministry will be ministering to the Lord in prayer and singing and playing guitar here at the House of Prayer over the next few months and beyond...

Bless you for your prayers and encouragement. May you be zapped with some joy as you read this. ZAP! And if you are holding onto any secrets or sins that keep you in bondage to shame, I pray that you will go quickly to meet with Christ, and find a trusting Christian to pray with you. This is the time to get free from everything that hinders and holds you back! We are called to be free and full of light and joy! May it be so for all of us, all around the globe!

Alison

A Really Important Message to the Body of Christ

2011-03-15T13:29:00.002+13:00

A friend of mine from the International House of Prayer sent this email and link to me below. I have JUST listened to the MP3 message that he describes below and it has broken me in the best of ways, and brought me to my knees, before the Lord. If you are wanting to hear a word from the Lord, this is it. Read my friend's description below and then go and watch/listen for yourself, with an open heart:

This week, my wife and I had the privilege of seeing a prominent leader from the African nation of Uganda, John Mulinde, speak in front of the International House of Prayer community.

After hearing John's message in a staff meeting earlier in the day, Mike Bickle, founder of the International House of Prayer and the rest of the Senior IHOP staff were so struck by his message, they called an emergency meeting - something I have never seen them do before. The urgency was, John was scheduled for a flight in only a few hours time. He had only enough time to be in Kansas City for about 24 hours. The meeting started at 4 p.m. He had just enough time to give his message.

Let me start by saying this: I have never in my life heard a message as sincere and truthful as this one. I have been in the church my entire life. This message is absolutely from Jesus. In fact, much of the story is about this man's one-on-one encounters with Jesus himself.

I believe God is using this man and his testimony for His wonderful purposes. It is a timely message, but more importantly, this message simply brings us to the feet of Jesus as our loving Saviour.

Please take time to listen. I promise, you will be encountered with the Holy Spirit through his message.

A brief summary of the message:

John Mulinde, a respected church leader in the Nation of Uganda, grew up in treacherous and unstable climates. His nation has seen tyrants, who through their power have brought much destruction and discouragement - especially to the body of Christ in Uganda. This is a man who knows difficulty and embraces it as a normal part of life. As he developed into adulthood, he gave himself to prayer and study of the scriptures. He has been used in many ways to build up churches across Uganda. But, there came a time when John felt his peace slip away. He began to cry out to the Lord. Jesus answered his cries in various ways, eventually to the point of actually physically appearing to John. His message to John was simple: repent. The Lord rebuked him, showed John his dark and sinful nature and painfully proved John's complete failure to reconcile his sins. In this message, you will hear what Jesus did with John and what Jesus told John to tell the church worldwide. This message will bring the wonderful and terrifying fear of the Lord into those who listen.

Listen to (or watch) his message here:

http://blog.ihop.org/general/an-important-message-from-john-mulinde/

Many blessings,
Joshua G (Kansas City, MO, USA)

Attention Kiwis: Conference + Sacred Assembly - "Before Thy Face"

2011-03-14T15:21:00.002+13:00

If you live in New Zealand, I want to strongly urge you to join us in Tauranga on April 14-16 for a conference and sacred assembly. Joining us we have Allen Hood and Ryan Kondo from the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Kristen Williams from New Zealand and Cindy Ruakere from New Zealand.

Check out the website for the gathering here: http://beforethyface.co.nz

Before Thy Face Promo Video from Tauranga House of Prayer on Vimeo.

[Content of this post taken from here]

Strong love has captured a weak heart

2011-03-05T23:33:00.001+13:00

I sit here late at night, back in the little town of Oxford, here on the south island of New Zealand, as the rain pounds upon the roof of my little guest home. It has been about one year since I first left this town that I love, to venture up to the north island, to the city of Tauranga, planting myself in a prayer room with a number of other weak hearts, leaning in to Christ's heart.

I think often of how the Lord has captured my weak heart over and over again with His strong love. What other than the covenantal love of God could keep us humans standing before Him day after day? I am such a weak vessel, but oh, the strength of His love! What power rests in His love! It is only by His love that I live another day before His face. I'm reminded again of this quote below, which explains so much of my heart over the past year and why I have forsaken all other pursuits in life for the sake of the 'One Thing' (Psalm 27:4). May this be my only reasonable response all the days of my life:

"Night and day prayer is not a testimony to human dedication but rather to the power of Jesus Christ to capture weak hearts and hold them fast in unending preoccupation. That His indescribable glory would be seen and His matchless worth treasured above all else is the cornerstone upon which night and day prayer must be founded and the reason it continues each passing moment. A house of prayer has its inception when someone beholds the majesty of Jesus and in wisdom concludes that the only reasonable response is for men to laud Him ceaselessly." (Justin Rizzo)

Sometimes we all need a little humour

2011-03-05T09:48:00.001+13:00

Well, I thought I'd take a momentary break from all the seriousness, to bring you something a little humourous. My momma sent this to me. A few will make you groan. Yup. So, enjoy this little doo-dah.

Do you know your hymns?

Dentist's Hymn..............................Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn.....................There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn........................The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn.........................Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn.......................There's a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn...................Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn......................Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn................I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn......................Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn................Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn....................Sweet Bye and Bye
The Realtor's Hymn......................I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapists Hymn....He Touched Me
The Doctor's Hymn......................The Great Physician

AND for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns:

45mph...........................................God Will Take Care of You
65mph...........................................Nearer My God To Thee
85mph...........................................This World Is Not My Home
95mph...........................................Lord, I'm Coming Home
100mph.........................................Precious Memories

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.

God Defend New Zealand

2011-02-28T20:52:00.000+13:00

Now this is an audio clip with photo slideshow of New Zealand, taken from a recording of Bill Johnson in September 2010, back at Bethel Church in Redding, California. He had just recently returned from a trip to New Zealand and was astounded by the New Zealand national anthem. Here are his remarks. Truly blows me away, especially now, with his final prayer, in response to the original earthquake in September. I stand for those prayers now, this February, with the newest earthquake. God defend New Zealand.

Christchurch Earthquake Update

2011-02-23T09:55:00.005+13:00

To my concerned friends and family,

Yesterday, Tuesday 22nd February 2011, at 12:51pm, Christchurch was hit with a 6.3 magnitude earthquake. The epicentre was just 10km south of the city in the town of Lyttelton, and was only 5km in depth, so it was shallower and felt with much more severity on the surface.

Many of you have contacted me to ask how we are doing. This time, I am actually up on the North Island in Tauranga, rather than the last time (4th Sept 2010) when the 7.1 mag earthquake hit and I was in Oxford speaking at the YWAM base about 20 minutes away from the epicentre. So, for me personally, I have not been affected this time as I am on a separate island and about 18 hours by car/ferry away from Christchurch.

I have been in touch with all of my YWAM Oxford family (30 mins from Christchurch) and they are all okay. They severely felt the earthquake for the full minute, and the multiple aftershocks that have continued throughout yesterday, into the night, and again today (Wednesday). All of them are fine, and there is no damage to the buildings in Oxford. Praise the Lord!

I have not had any contact with most of my friends that live in Christchurch. All the phone and mobile services are overloaded and we are without contact. But I have heard via the staff at the YWAM Oxford base that our ministry friends and their families in Christchurch are all okay. One injured his head in the initial earthquake yesterday, but was treated in hospital and is okay now.

At one point, we feared there were a couple people we knew who had been lost in the earthquake, but by the end of last night, we had finally made contact with them and they had been found, safe and unharmed in Christchurch. Praise the Lord!

Here in Tauranga, we have been in shock, and the nation is in mourning. We changed up our Tuesday evening timetable here at Tauranga House of Prayer, and held an impromptu city-wide prayer meeting focused on the tragedy happening in Christchurch with the earthquake. We called upon the mercy and love of God to touch that city and bring many to personally encounter the Lord, for many to be saved and rescued and for further damage and tragedy to be averted. Please continue with us, wherever you are in the globe, to pray for the Lord to pour out His Holy Spirit on the city of Christchurch, which carries His Name.

I'm still in shock, and mourning. It seems that the whole nation is, really. Traffic has slowed in our city, and there is a hush all around, as most sit inside watching the news, or gather in homes to pray, or try to get in contact with loved ones in Christchurch. You see, in New Zealand, with a TOTAL national population of just 4 million (the size of 1 big city), any number of deaths anywhere across the nation, whether we know them or not, feels like we have lost personal family. So, New Zealand cries today for the climbing total of fatalities and serious injuries. But we also carry a banner of hope, believing that God's mercy and hope will blanket this nation and bring redemption and good out of such a disaster.

I am still stunned, seeing various landmarks now in rubble. Places that I had visited each week for the 4 years I lived down there, now lie in rubble. The tower of the majestic Christchurch Cathedral in the city centre, which my mother and I had walked up and caught the city views from, now lies in rubble on the ground, with suspected crushed victims who were inside the tower, doing the very same thing my mom and I did a few years back. Sight-seeing, as the quake hit and the aftershock soon after that toppled the tower to pieces. That's when it brings it all home, when you see the places you had set foot in yourself, crumbling to the ground.

So, please know that I am safe and okay. I have not felt any of the quake physically, but I have felt it in my heart. We are praying with all our hearts, here, from this part of the nation. The best thing you can do is get on your knees and pray for New Zealand, especially for Christchurch. Pray that God would have mercy and pour out His Spirit in unprecedented revival, that people would come into saving knowledge of our loving and beautiful God, in the midst of this tragedy. Don't just gawk at the TV footage - PRAY!

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or thoughts or personal prayers.

Love,
Alison

Noteworthy Links:

YWAM Oxford Mission Base | Official Response From Jeremy Slough, Base Team Leader

A First-hand Account of the Earthquake From A Reporter Stuck in the Press Building | The Day the Earth Roared

Prayer: Rebelling Against the Status Quo

2011-02-10T00:00:00.001+13:00

My good friend Wanda sent this to me a few weeks back...and if she sends me something, IT'S GOTTA BE GOOD 'COS WANDA DOESN'T MESS AROUND! Well, I read this and it blew my mind. One of the best articles on prayer I've read in a long time, maybe EVER. Please do yourself a favour and read through this whole article. You'll be challenged, and if you're like me, a deep hunger to focus your heart to pray again, will well up in your spirit, and bubble over into action! ~Alison

Prayer: Rebelling Against the Status Quo
By: David Wells

You will be appalled by the story I am about to relate to you. Appalled, that is, if you have any kind of social conscience.

A poor black, living on Chicago’s South Side, sought to have her apartment properly heated during the frigid winter months. Despite city law on the matter, her unscrupulous landlord refused. The woman was a widow, desperately poor, and ignorant of the legal system; but she took the case to court on her own behalf. Justice, she declared, ought to be done. It was her ill fortune, however, to appear repeatedly before the same judge who, as it turned out, was an atheist and a bigot. The only principle by which he abode was, as he put it, that “blacks should be kept in their place.” The possibilities of a ruling favorable to the widow were, therefore, bleak. They became even bleaker as she realized she lacked the indispensable ingredient necessary for favorable rulings in cases like these—namely, a satisfactory bribe. Nevertheless, she persisted. At first, the judge did not so much as even look up from reading the novel on his lap before dismissing her. But then he began to notice her. 'Just another black,' he thought, 'stupid enough to think she could get justice.' Then her persistence made him self-conscious. This turned to guilt and anger. Finally, raging and embarrassed, he granted her petition and enforced the law. Here was a massive victory over “the system” —at least as it functioned in his corrupted courtroom. In putting the matter like this I have not, of course, been quite honest. For this never really happened in Chicago (as far as I know), nor is it even my “story.” It is a parable told by Jesus (Luke 18:1-8) to illustrate the nature of petitionary prayer.

The parallel Jesus drew was obviously not between God and the corrupt judge, but between the widow and the petitioner. This parallel has two aspects. First, the widow refused to accept her unjust situation, just as the Christian should refuse to resign himself or herself to the world in its fallenness. Second, despite discouragements, the widow persisted with her case as should the Christian with his or hers. The first aspect has to do with prayer’s nature and the second with its practice.

I want to argue that our feeble and irregular prayer, especially in its petitionary aspect, is too frequently addressed in the wrong way. When confronting this failing, we are inclined to flagellate ourselves for our weak wills, our insipid desires, our ineffective technique and our wandering minds. We keep thinking that somehow our practice is awry and we rack our brains to see if we can discover where. I suggest that the problem lies in a misunderstanding of prayer’s nature and our practice will never have that widow’s persistence until our outlook has her clarity.

What, then, is the nature of petitionary prayer? lt is, in essence, rebellion—rebellion against the world in its fallenness, the absolute and undying refusal to accept as normal what is pervasively abnormal. It is, in this its negative aspect, the refusal of every agenda, every scheme, every interpretation that is at odds with the norm as originally established by God. As such, it is itself an expression of the unbridgeable chasm that separates Good from Evil, the declaration that Evil is not a variation on Good but its antithesis.

Or, to put it the other way around, to come to an acceptance of life “as it is,” to accept it on its own terms—which means acknowledging the inevitability of the way it works—is to surrender a Christian view of God. This resignation to what is abnormal has within it the hidden and unrecognized assumption that the power of God to change the world, to overcome Evil by Good, will not be actualized. Nothing destroys petitionary prayer (and with it, a Christian view of God) as quickly as resignation. “At all times,” Jesus declared, “we should pray” and not “lose heart,” thereby acquiescing to what is (Luke 18:1). The dissipation of petitionary prayer in the presence of resignation has an interesting historical pedigree. Those religions that stress quietistic acquiescence (accept, without protest) always disparage petitionary prayer. This was true of the Stoics who claimed that such prayer showed that one was unwilling to accept the existent world as an expression of God’s will. One was trying to escape from it by having it modified. That, they said, was bad. A similar argument is found in Buddhism. And the same result, although arrived at by a different process of reasoning, is commonly encountered in our secular culture.

Secularism is that attitude that sees life as an end in itself. Life, it is thought, is severed from any relationship to God. Consequently the only norm or “given” in life, whether for meaning or for morals, is the world as it is. With this, it is argued, we must come to terms; to seek some other referrent around which to structure our lives is futile and “escapist.” It is not only that God, the object of petitionary prayer, has often become indistinct, but that his relationship to the world is seen in a new way. And it is a way that does not violate secular assumption. God may be “present” and “active” in the world, but it is not a presence and an activity that changes anything.

Against all of this, it must be asserted that petitionary prayer only flourishes where there is a twofold belief: first, that God’s name is hallowed too irregularly, his kingdom has come too little, and his will is done too infrequently; second, that God himself can change this situation. Petitionary prayer, therefore, is the expression of the hope that life as we meet it, on the one hand, can be otherwise and, on the other hand, that it ought to be otherwise. It is therefore impossible to seek to live in God’s world on his terms, doing his work in a way that is consistent with who he is, without engaging in regular prayer.

That, I believe, is the real significance of petitionary prayer in our Lord’s life. Much of his prayer life is left unexplained by the Gospel writers (ie: Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16; Luke 9:18; Luke 11:1), but a pattern in the circumstances that elicited prayer is discernible.

First, petitionary prayer preceded great decisions in his life, such as the choosing of the disciples (Luke 6:12); indeed, the only possible explanation of his choice of that ragtag bunch of nonentities, boastful, ignorant and uncomprehending as they were, was that he had prayed before choosing them. Second, he prayed when pressed beyond measure, when his day was unusually busy with many competing claims upon his energies and attention (e.g., Matt 14:23). Third, he prayed in the great crises and turning points of his life, such as his baptism, the Transfiguration, and the Cross (Luke 3:21; Luke 9:28-29). Finally, he prayed before and during unusual temptation, the most vivid occasion being Gethsemane (Matt 26:36-45). As the “hour” of evil descended, the contrast between the way Jesus met it and the way his disciples met it is explained only by the fact that he persevered in prayer and they slept in faintness of heart. Each of these events presented our Lord with the possibility of adopting an agenda, accepting a perspective, or pursuing a course.

To pray declares that God and his world are at cross-purposes; to “sleep,” or “faint,” or “lose heart” is to act as if they are not. Why, then, do we pray so little for our local church? Is it really that our technique is bad, our wills weak, or our imaginations listless? I don’t believe so. There is plenty of strong-willed and lively discussion—which in part or in whole may be justified—about the mediocrity of the preaching, the emptiness of the worship, the superficiality of the fellowship, and the ineffectiveness of the evangelism. So, why, then, don’t we pray as persistently as we talk? The answer, quite simply, is that we don’t believe it will make any difference. We accept, however despairingly, that the situation is unchangeable, that what is will always be. This is not a problem about the practice of prayer, but rather about its nature. Or, more precisely, it is about the nature of God and his relationship to this world.

Unlike the widow in the parable, we find it is easy to come to terms with the unjust and fallen world around us—even when it intrudes into Christian institutions. It is not always that we are unaware of what is happening, but simply that we feel completely impotent to change anything. That impotence leads us, however unwillingly, to strike a truce with what is wrong.

In other words, we have lost our anger, both at the level of social witness and before God in prayer. Fortunately, he has not lost his; for the wrath of God is his opposition to what is wrong, the means by which truth is put forever on the throne and error forever on the scaffold. Without God’s wrath, there would be no reason to live morally in the world and every reason not to. So the wrath of God, in this sense, is intimately connected with petitionary prayer that also seeks the ascendancy of truth in all instances and the corresponding banishment of evil.

The framework Jesus gave us for thinking about this was the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom is that sphere where the king’s sovereignty is recognized. And, because of the nature of our king, that sovereignty is exercised supernaturally. In Jesus, the long-awaited “age to come” arrived; in him and through him, the Messianic incursion into the world has happened. Being a Christian, then, is not a matter of simply having had the right religious experience but rather of starting to live in that sphere which is authentically divine. Evangelism is not successful because our technique is “right,” but because this “age” breaks into the lives of sinful people. And this “age to come,” which is already dawning, is not the possession of any one people or culture. God’s “age,” the “age” of his crucified Son, is dawning in the whole world. Our praying, therefore, should look beyond the concerns of our private lives to include the wide horizon of all human life in which God is concerned. If the Gospel is universal, prayer cannot restrict itself to being local.

It is not beside the point, therefore, to see the world as a courtroom in which a “case” can still be made against what is wrong and for what is right. Our feebleness in prayer happens because we have lost sight of this, and until we regain it we will not persist in our role as litigants (a person involved in a lawsuit). But there is every reason why we should regain our vision and utilize our opportunity, for the Judge before whom we appear is neither an atheist nor corrupt, but the glorious God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! Do you really think, then, that he will fail to “bring about justice for his chosen ones who cry to him night and day? Will he keep putting them off?”“I tell you,” our Lord declares, “he will see that they get justice, and quickly” (Luke 18:7-8).

The Labour Pains of Life

2011-02-07T17:05:00.002+13:00

I was reading a friend's blog the other day as she shared of some painful experiences she was walking through. You know when something just pierces your heart and you finally UNDERSTAND? You GET sudden clarity as if you could hold onto it with your own two hands? She wrote with such beautiful clarity what I have been reaching around in the dark trying to articulate within the recesses of my heart:

As one of my most incredible gifts in life once said to me: "If there were no labour pains, it would mean i had a barren life." There have been decades of labour pains. He caused some and others were motions intended to destroy the life within me. Yet labour pains are temporary….they always lead to beauty. They are able to do nothing other than lead to new life. To purpose fulfilled. To an incarnation of hope. To a new portrait of Him.

Okay, I need to just sit back and take that in. Maybe you need to just take another moment and RE-READ that quote above. What she shared above just makes so much sense out of our lives, doesn't it? It is so true. If you never experienced labour pains in your life, it means that you never gave BIRTH to something, never multiplied SOMETHING on this earth, never brought about something FRUITFUL. Essentially, this is barrenness: Your life ending solo, as 'just one', not having reproduced anything that will carry on after you.

We all want to know that we left this earth having GIVEN SOMETHING back to it, and that fruit was born out of our life. It breaks my heart to think of coming to end of my life and looking back and seeing a barren, fruitless, essentially, EMPTY life. This has nothing to do with whether I am ever married or have biological children. This is all about reproduction and multiplication of what God has done in my heart and pouring it out to others so that the earth becomes full with His glory.

Labour pains... suck (or so I've been told). But I feel I've experienced my share of "labour pains of life" and it is never a pleasant, lovely experience in and of itself. BUT they are temporary. Looking back on my life, I can truly see proof of this. Not just in the lives of my friends and family who have gone through actual labour pains, but in the history of my life in God. All labour pains have been temporary. They have birthed something at the end of it. And - it - is - always - beautiful.

Labour pains ALWAYS bring new life, beauty and hope. Let's just sit back and think on that one for a moment. Labour pains always bring new life, beauty and hope. Babies are gloriously beautiful. They are full of fresh life. Life screams out of their lungs (literally!). They are full of hope, tugging on the strings of our hardened hearts, calling us out into tender new paths of possibility. The result of all that exhausting, body-wrenching labouring? Beauty. Hope. New Life. Simply that. And we do it over and over and over again, despite the pain.

"If there were no labour pains, it would mean i had a barren life."

God, I do not want a barren life. Bring on the labour pains. I want to see purposes come to fruition, and fulfillment. We do not want the abortions, and the shutting of the womb of possibilities. God, birth in us your hopeful purposes within our hearts, and let us not resist the labour pains. We love a fruitful earth. We love a fruitful life. We love the "fruit of our labours". We were meant for fruitfulness. We cannot understand barrenness, because we were made for the opposite. Fullness of life. We are made empty in Him first, so that we can be filled, to the brim, to overflowing -- bursting forth with full beauty.

God, give us strength and vision to go through the pain, through to the fulfillment of dreams. It is worth it. It has always been worth it. And it will always be worth it.

Push on. Breakthrough is coming. You will not be barren. He has promised that you shall bear much fruit. Much, much fruit.

On Waiting...

2011-02-03T14:01:00.001+13:00

I wanted to share a post that was sent to me that has challenged and encouraged me. It's a terrific meditation on waiting- something I dare say everyone in different seasons of life, has experienced: waiting for a date, child, husband, job, grandchildren, answer to prayer…Life is full of waiting.

Spiritual Muscle Development
By: Paul Tripp
Link: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/spiritual-muscle-development

So, what happens inside of you when you are asked to wait? Is waiting, for you, a time of strengthening or weakening? Have you ever stopped to consider why God asks you to wait? Let me point you to one of his purposes.

Waiting Is Giving You Time

When God asks you to wait, what happens to your spiritual muscles? While you wait, do your spiritual muscles grow bigger and stronger or do they grow flaccid and atrophied? Waiting for the Lord isn’t about God forgetting you, forsaking you, or being unfaithful to his promises. It’s actually God giving you time to consider his glory and to grow stronger in faith. Remember, waiting isn’t just about what you are hoping for at the end of the wait, but also about what you will become as you wait.

Waiting always presents me with a spiritual choice-point. Will I allow myself to question God’s goodness and progressively grow weaker in faith, or will I embrace the opportunity of faith that God is giving me and build my spiritual muscles? (see Psalm 27:4)

It’s so easy to question your belief system when you are not sure what God is doing. It’s so easy to give way to doubt when you are being called to wait. It’s so easy to forsake good habits and to take up habits of unfaith that weaken the muscles of the heart. Let me suggest some habits of unfaith that cause waiting to be a time of increasing weakness rather than of building strength. These are bad habits that all of us are tempted to give way to.

Habits of Unfaith

Giving way to doubt. There’s a fine line between the struggle to wait and giving way to doubt. When you are called to wait, you are being called to do something that wasn’t part of your plan and is therefore something that you struggle to see as good. Because you are naturally convinced that what you want is right and good, it doesn’t seem loving that you are being asked to wait. You can see how tempting it is then to begin to consider questions of God’s wisdom, goodness, and love. It is tempting, in the frustration of waiting, to actually begin to believe that you are smarter than God.

Giving way to anger. It’s very easy to look around and begin to think that the bad guys are being blessed and the good guys are getting hammered (see Psalm 73). There will be times when it simply doesn’t seem right that you have to wait for something that seems so obviously good to you. It will feel that you are being wronged, and when it does, it seems right to be angry. Because of this, it’s important to understand that the anger you feel in these moments is more than anger with the people or circumstances that are the visible cause for your waiting. No, your anger is actually anger with the One who is in control of those people and those circumstances. You are actually giving way to thinking that you have been wronged by God.

Giving way to discouragement. This is where I begin to let my heart run away with the “If only_____,” the “What if_____,” and the “What will happen if_____.” I begin to give my mind to thinking about what will happen if my request isn’t answered soon, or what in the world will happen if it’s not answered at all. This kind of meditation makes me feel that my life is out of control. And I am able to think my life is out of control because I have forgotten God’s wise and gracious control over every part of my existence. Rather than my heart being filled with joy, my heart gets flooded with worry and dread. Free mental time is spent considering my dark future, with all the resulting discouragement that will always follow.

Giving way to envy. When I am waiting, it’s very tempting to look over the fence and wish for the life of someone who doesn’t appear to have been called to wait. It’s very easy to take on an “I wish I were that guy” way of living. You can’t give way to envy without questioning God’s wisdom and his love. Here is the logic: if God really loves you as much as he loves that other guy, you would have what the other guy has. Envy is about feeling forgotten and forsaken, coupled with a craving to have what your neighbor enjoys.

Giving way to inactivity. The result of giving way to all of these things is inactivity. If God isn’t as good and wise as I once thought he was, if he withholds good things from his children, and if he plays favorites, then why would I continue to pursue him? Maybe all those habits of faith aren’t helping me after all; maybe I’ve been kidding myself.

Sadly, this is the course that many people take as they wait. Rather than growing in faith, their motivation for spiritual exercise is destroyed by doubt, anger, discouragement, and envy, and the muscles of faith that were once robust and strong are now atrophied and weak.

One of His Primary Shaping Tools

The reality of waiting is that it’s an expression of God’s goodness not empirical evidence against it. He is wise and loving. His timing is always right, and his focus isn’t so much on what you will experience and enjoy, but on what you will become. He is committed to using every tool at his disposal to rescue you from yourself and to shape you into the likeness of his Son. The fact is that waiting is one of his primary shaping tools.

So, how do you build your spiritual muscles during the wait? Well, you must commit yourself to resisting those habits of unfaith and with discipline pursue a rigorous routine of spiritual exercise.

What is the equipment in God’s gym of faith? Here are the things that he has designed for you to build the muscles of your heart and strengthen your resolve: the regular study of his Word; consistent godly fellowship; looking for God’s glory in creation every day; putting yourself under excellent preaching and teaching of Scripture; investing your quiet mental time in meditating on the goodness of God (e.g., as you are going off to sleep); reading excellent Christian books; and spending ample time in prayer. All of these things will result in spiritual strength and vitality.

Is God asking you to wait? So, what is happening to your muscles?

Learning the Rhythm of Patience

2011-01-23T14:49:00.001+13:00

My lovely mother sent me this advent devotional in the mail over the Christmas holiday. Learning the rhythm of patience has more often been a very bumpy road for me, filled with many impatient gusts forward, only to hit a wall, having to then fall back in step (reluctantly) with the rhythm of "the patient life" that God calls all Christians to. This past year, being involved in a House of Prayer has taught me a lot about this "deliberate, unrushed" prayer life that the devotional speaks of below. It has been a beautiful (and thoroughly messy) journey as the Lord of the Universe is teaching me to walk with Him, on His terms and at His pace... ~Alison

"Be patient, therefore, beloved, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious crop from the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains." (James 5:7)

Prayerful Pauses
(by Amy Wellborn)

A few months ago, I gave a talk on prayer to a parish. I spoke about what I call "monastic time." Prayer in a monastery is much different than it is, say, in a regular parish, and not just because monastic prayer happens around the clock. Prayer in a monastery is... relaxed. It is deliberate. There is absolutely no rush. There are pauses between the lines of prayer and between responses.

At the end of my talk, the pastor suggested that the group pray the Lord's Prayer on "monastic time": slowly, pausing between the stanzas.

It was hard. The pull to just jump into the next line without even a breath was fierce and difficult to resist. But gradually, we fell into the rhythm and learned patience.

The pull to see what comes next is strong, in prayer and in life. But the Lord tells us to have patience. Let go. In the pauses, in the silence in the waiting, he does his work.

Lord, teach me patience as I wait for you.

Disturb us, Lord!

2011-01-13T16:14:00.003+13:00

A friend shared this poem on his blog recently and I am compelled to share it with all of you as well. My heart is stirred (or shall I say, my heart is disturbed?). I have dreamed too little, lived too safely, sailed too closely to shore. I have fallen in love with life, let earth outshine heaven in my eyes, and been my own captain of what I have thought was my own ship... Lord, DISTURB ME, I pray. ~Alison.

Sir Francis Drake’s prayer before circumnavigating the globe:

Disturb us, Lord, when

We are too pleased with ourselves,

When our dreams have come true

Because we dreamed too little,

When we arrived safely

Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when,

with the abundance of things we possess,

We have lost our thirst

For the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life,

We have ceased to dream of eternity

And, in our efforts to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision

Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,

To venture on wilder seas

Where storms will show your mastery;

Where losing sight of land,

We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back

The horizons of our hopes;

And to push back the future

In strength, courage, hope and love.

This we ask in the name of our Captain,

Who is Jesus Christ.

Happy New Year! 2011 is upon us!

2011-01-01T14:38:00.000+13:00

Hello from the future! (here in New Zealand)

For the last day of 2010, a few friends and I were driving back from our Golden Bay trip, and spent the last day of 2010 prophesying over one another in the car ride. What a great time! Then when we arrived back in Oxford, we unpacked, and cleaned up and then celebrated our New Years Eve with a simple barbeque of steaks, grilled vegetables and some Lemon & Lime Bitters (a yummy New Zealand soda/pop). And then later in the night, we watched the OneThing Conference webstream in Kansas City currently going on (25,000 young people attending!), and rung in the New Year with the webstream projected on the wall, in the lounge, with loud speakers blaring out the music so we bopped to the music! We heard some AWESOMEEEEE preaching by Corey Russell's Dec 28th 2pm session and for our 10-second countdown to midnight, we jumped gleefully for Jesus (literally). Ya God! We stayed up til 2am worshiping and talking about 2011 and the goals and hopes we have for the year ahead in God. How right and good it is to enter a New Year in the rich presence of God! Happy New Year to all of you! May you follow God wherever He leads, and may you obey Him wholeheartedly, and receive fullness of joy in 2011! 2011 is the year to REALLY GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! DON'T HOLD BACK! GO!

To all of you in North America or elsewhere still in 2010, let me tell you... the future looks bright! 2011 is great so far! Make your final few hours truly count.

Love from the future, here in New Zealand in 2011!!
Alison

The Christmas Story!

2010-12-25T09:07:00.002+13:00

Nothing is more awesome than living life through the eyes of a child, and hearing what hilarious things come out of them! Consider this my Merry-Christmas-Birthday-Wish-to-Jesus this year! Watch the video below or if it does not work, click this link to watch. Love from, Alison.

UPDATE: Reflections From This Past Year

2010-12-10T16:55:00.054+13:00

SPECIAL NOTE: Pull up a chair, grab a cuppa tea or coffee, and come along for a little journey as I share snippets of the significant events and reflections from the past 12 months of my life. I encourage you to take the time to read through each month, as it builds to a satisfying close at the end. ~ Alison

JANUARY: It’s the season to “Dock the Ship.”
This was the beginning of a new season for me, where I was to “dock the ship” and take time away with the Lord, after 4 solid years of YWAM ministry. Mid January, I attended the “Call2All” gathering in Tauranga, which is a global event that draws together the missions and prayer movements from a vast array of organizations to see the Great Commission completed! We see the end goal in sight and believe that Jesus is coming soon! Our Beloved will return to us soon!

FEBRUARY: The Best Valentine’s Gift!

I mentioned that in January I “docked the ship” and it is amazing to see how the Lord leads perfectly… He led me to Tauranga which means “safe harbour”. It turned out to be the perfect resting spot for “Ali the Ship” to dock and find refuge in the Lord. I attended the 3-month Awaken Internship through the Tauranga House of Prayer and it was one of the best investments of time and money of my life. I came up by car and ferry on the weekend of Valentine’s Day. It truly was one of the most precious Valentine’s gifts that my Beloved has given me - a Valentine that lasted for 3-months. Time spent devoted to Him and Him alone, where He wooed me deeper into His vast heart. I recommend to all of you who need 3-months to get away with the Lord, to join the Awaken internship this February 2011.

MARCH: Thriving in the Desert.
After taking the first few weeks to just pinch myself (over and over again) to have this season of rest, I went into a very intentional time of hiddenness and veiling myself away from people and public ministry. I mean, I was around people every day, but essentially, I was letting my HEART be veiled. I went into a time of solitude, silence and stillness within my heart where I had no titles, no ministry responsibilities, no reputation, no name. Just me and God. Some call this “the wilderness” or “the desert” and consider this time quite challenging, but I actually found it to be a beautiful place - what a refreshing place! I have learned a lot about “the garden of the Lord” in the middle of the desert, and that when all is stripped away, God has genuine room to deeply impact your inner world. I am forever grateful to have found a living reality in “the desert garden” by the grace of God.

APRIL: The Beauty found at the Cross. A life message.

Easter was so different for me this year. I went through a real process of dying, in many areas of my life. And at first, what seemed like the biggest risk of all, to hand over the most vulnerable areas of my heart to the Lord, soon became the most desirable thing to do! In flinging myself unabashedly upon the cross of Christ, I found an intimacy and communion with Christ that I did not know was possible!!! I can say with confidence, that there is joy in death. This will just be religious ‘talk’ until you do it yourself. Until you actually die to yourself in the areas you hold most dear, you will never experience the exhilaration of the resurrection. This is becoming a life message for me. The crucified life (Ours, not just Christ’s) is the doorway to ALL joy and peace and communion with Christ. There is NO other way…

MAY: Visit to Canada. Heavenly visitation. Life as Auntie Ali.
After 3 beautiful months at the House of Prayer, I visited Canada for 3 months for my first Canadian summer since 2006! This time, I got to be Auntie Ali in person for the first time! I’ve thought a lot about babies and new life this year with the birth of my niece, Hera Cecilia Lam. I call her our “Gift from Heaven”. You know when a family just needs a FRESH INFUSION OF SOMETHING HEAVENLY to get our minds off of ourselves and turn our gaze upward to the precious sanctity and beauty of human life? We needed beautiful little Hera to show up on the doorstep of our hearts, interrupting our messy lives, to say, “Here I am. I’m here to stay.” And with Hera's arrival, our hearts have been captured and fascinated with her vivacious personality, exhilarating shrieks and all the joys that come with baby life!

JUNE: I went to “Greece” for 1 night! Learning about loyalty in friendships.

A couple childhood friends of mine back in Canada have a tradition of “going to a country” for a birthday. We don’t actually go to that country, but the birthday person picks the country, we all dress up according to the country’s customs, and decorate a home to look like the country, making gourmet food from that country. It makes for one fun party! So, I decided I wanted to go to Greece! So, for one night a bunch of my friends went to Greece with me! Reflecting on my childhood friends brings me to a place of such gratitude for the loyalty and faithfulness of these precious gals. There is something so comforting to know that there are people that have known me through most of my life and still love me! And better yet, actually think I’m pretty cool, despite some very annoying or hurtful things I have done in the past. To know that we’ve worked through the bumps and gotten closer through it, just astounds me. And even though many of these friends live on the other side of the world from me, I am thankful for these solid-rock friendships who are like sisters to me.

JULY: Don’t take family for granted.
I’ve had my ups and downs with my family. As we all do. I have come to a place of really thanking God for my family. We are special, unique, crazy, hilarious, deep, ...and dearly loved by God. We’ve got quirks and it’s messy, but this is MY family. God really has done some cool miracles to bring me to such a soft place in my heart towards my family. It’s been like a fresh awakening to fall in love with the family I was born into. May we not take for granted our numbered days with our families. We never know how long we have with them...

AUGUST: Earthquakes and the epicentre of God’s Heart.

(I just realized upon editing this that the earthquake was actually on September 4th, but since August was an uneventful month, Ali is taking sovereign charge over reality and putting the earthquake blurb in August!!!)
Upon arriving back to New Zealand at the end of August, I drove 15 hours south by car, to get 15 minutes away from the epicenter of the 7.1 earthquake near Christchurch. Talk about timing and location! Yet, it was like God was drawing me, like a magnet, to the centre of His presence, as I felt safer than I’ve ever felt before in the midst of the severe shaking and groaning of the earth. I felt so close to God as I experienced His powerful hand shaking this little ball we call earth. God is doing something. Something powerful. It’s time to wake up. We cannot sleep through the shakings of God on this earth any longer. God is sounding an alarm. I am learning to listen to Him, REALLY LISTEN TO HIM, because He is not dumb or mute. He is speaking, and as was the case during the earthquake, he spoke very loudly. God is alive and He wants you to acknowledge Him!

SEPTEMBER: Making a home in Tauranga.
After speaking on the Ski + Snowboard DTS’ final week of lectures before they left to go out into the nations, I drove back up north to plant myself in Tauranga, as I minister in the Tauranga House of Prayer over the next while. As previous updates shared, I was blessed with a lovely little apartment that I call “Bethlehem Stable”. I have enjoyed decorating and making a little home for myself… the first place of my own in years…. It’s time to DWELL.

OCTOBER: Finish well. Dive in deep and don’t come up for air.

Funny how immediately after we excitedly plant ourselves in a new place, we get restless feet, and restless hearts. Yup. I’m not immune! God had to speak to me, in the mundane routine of life, to finish this year well. “Dive in deep and don’t come up for air, Ali, til the end of the year.” What does that look like? I didn’t quite know, but I knew I had to go deeper. God started to show me that there are NO LIMITS to how deep I can go in God. I can go as deep and as far as I want to go!! It’s sad how in this world, and even the Christian world, many can discourage you from going really deep in God. They may look at you like you’re a bit of an alien for having this holy discontentment with the status quo. And they may glare at you as you continue to give up more stuff so you can devote more of yourself to the Lord, and even step away from “good” distractions that block you from experiencing the depths of God. Sometimes, it is the “good” stuff that actually blocks you from getting the “best”. And I’m learning that the best stuff is usually in the depths…

NOVEMBER: The Bible Coming to Life!
…and what I’ve had a huge revelation on, is that I’ve got to go mine the depths for myself, if I’m to experience the reality of the depths of God’s Heart and God’s Word. I cannot survive off the bread others have gotten. I want my own rich history in God! A friend of mine who is one of our key leaders at the House of Prayer spoke some awesome stuff on Bible Study recently (listen for yourself here). Seriously, it is like God has wooed me into the most exciting thing of my life: Cultivating a lifestyle of spending ONE WHOLE YEAR IN ONE BOOK OF THE BIBLE, and going really deep in it. This is a call to deeper focus. I can’t explain it, but quite possibly this is THE MOST excited I've been for something in my Christian walk: this awakening into long term Bible Study! It's so hard to explain what has come alive in my heart in this area! So, I’ve decided to study Isaiah. I’m calling it “One Year with Isaiah”. I feel like Isaiah and I will have a rich friendship after this next year. I encourage all of you to take the leap into a similar journey!

DECEMBER: The end of an amazing year! Ending with thoughts on Christmas!

I’ve been in Tauranga for 3 months now, and have settled into ministry life at the House of Prayer and community life in this city. I’m thankful for the forming of new bonds and new friendships. It is like God has made this place a MAGNET for hungry believers, who want to build an organic community centred on prayer and worship and fellowship. I’ve gotten involved in a small group bible study, a rockin’ house worship gathering, and times of feasting with friends and so on. It’s now the 1 year mark since completing my leadership commitments at YWAM Oxford. It's the 1 year mark of hiding myself away from any titles and roles and public ministry. Which brings me to the present day… the Christmas season, and how fitting it is that I am writing this in the suburb of Bethlehem. It brings me back 2000 years ago to the other little, humble town of Bethlehem, which became the “star” of the show, when the King of the Universe came down to earth, being born in an unsanitary sheep-dung-filled cave. I can’t shake the reality of Philippians 2, where Christ came in hiddenness and humiliation as the lowest of all servants, essentially, as our slave, loving not His life unto death… and now He has been lifted up into the limelight of Heaven and given the seat of honour. The Throne over ALL. What a Man. What a God. How can I not bow my knee to this One, to whom I owe my WHOLE life and my death? This is where my heart sits in reflection as the year of 2010 comes to a close, here at the “ends of the earth.” On that note, I will close with a sincere prayer of BLESSING to you in my heart as you turn your own eyes and heart to the One who laid down His life for you, because He loves you dearly.

Sincerely,
Alison

P.S. Enjoy taking a look below at my "Creative-Approach-To-Summer-Christmas-Tree-Decorating-On-A-Budget"!!

Oh Glorious Tuna!

2010-11-26T13:59:00.001+13:00

Whoa now, before I have many of you messaging me telling me that Tuna has no glory, and it's not a biblically-sound phrase, let me explain...

Sooo, the other day (um, actually, yesterday), I was driving back home from the city centre. I was hungry, but didn't want to make a "meal-meal" if you know what I mean. So I said to God, "What can I make?"

A resounding "TUNA PATTIES" flashed into my mind. 'How strange,' I thought, 'I've never even heard of such a thing!' But I thought it had potential if GOD gave me the idea (!!) and it gave me a little excitement to think of eating a tuna patty, this thing I had never tasted before. So, I silently thanked God, and I went on my merry way, quietly anticipating these possible morsels of goodness. I got home, and by this time, I was so excited to eat tuna patties, though I did not know how to make said item. So, I proceeded to go online and google "tuna patties" and up came a bazillion recipes. I scanned and tried to find a recipe that required minimal ingredients but optimum flavour. I didn't have corn or potatoes so those recipes were out. Besides, potatoes in tuna patties just sounded plain wrong. And corn. Didn't have it. So, I tweaked it according to my mad recipe-tweaking skillz and worked my magic on an as-yet-untasted food concoction! The result of this creative-kitchen flurry?

VOILA!

Ali's Quick & Easy Tuna Patties

(aka Tuna Morsels of Glorious Goodness)

...Recipe below...

Tuna patties as appetizers with ketchup/sweet thai chili sauce! Mmm.

Ali ain't cruel. She wouldn't taunt these yummy morsels in front of you and not give you the recipe to make them! No, Ali is KIND. So, here's the deal... I'm offering you the tweaked recipe below to make it really simple, so that even YOU could make it! What a deal! Woo hoo! Well, maybe some of you are professional chefs reading this and you will be mortified by the simplified nature of the combination of ingredients or procedure. So for YOU chefs, feel free to go catch your own tuna and press your own oil, crush your own chili's and grow your own onions, organically, of course :)

This tuna patty's life is almost over! In a moment, it SHALL be consumed!

Now, just to complete the story, before I offer you the recipe, I thought I should wrap up my explanation of the title "Oh Glorious Tuna" or the nickname "Tuna Morsels of Glorious Goodness".

Well, the definition of Glorious is:

"worthy of bringing fame..." or
"having a striking beauty or splendour that evokes feelings of delighted admiration."

....Well, first off, since God gave me the idea to make tuna patties, then the fact that I'm blogging about how involved He is in our lives is bringing worth and fame to God. He created tuna and He gave us the wisdom to figure out how to cook, so these tuna patties are, in fact, glorifying God. Secondly, now that I know how yummy these suckers are, they do have an appearance of striking beauty and splendour when I gaze upon them (!!), and they certainly evoke feelings of delighted admiration, for tuna patties and for God. Mmmm. Okay, maybe I've gone too far. Maybe now you should be messaging me and telling me to get on my knees and repent of idolatry!

So, while I'm sorting things out with God here, check out the recipe below!

----

Quick & Easy Tuna Patties

These are delicious, healthy, require few ingredients, and are quick & easy to make! My new favourite thing to eat!

Serves 2-3. Prep time 10 mins. Cook time 10 mins.
Makes approximately 8-12 small/medium tuna patties.
Double or triple recipe for a family/gathering.

Ingredients:
1 Can        Tuna (in water), drained
1                Egg
1 Cup        Breadcrumbs (white or wholewheat)
¼ Cup       Flour (white or wholewheat)
¼ - ½        Onion, finely chopped (more or less depending on your preference)
2 Tbsp      Sweet Thai Chili Sauce or Ketchup/tomato sauce
Dash of     Salt & Pepper, to taste
1 tsp         Cooking oil, of your choice (for frying, not for mixing in food)

Optional:
1 clove     Garlic, crushed (or 1 tsp canned crushed garlic)
Dash of     Cayenne pepper (if you like some added kick!)

Directions:
1.    Mix all ingredients together in one bowl. Either cook immediately, or allow mixture to set for 1 hour in refrigerator.
2.    Take tablespoon size amounts of the mixture and form into meatball/donut-hole size balls, (but you can make patties whatever size you like). Place in oiled frying pan on medium/high heat. Flatten and press balls down slightly, but light enough that they keep their form. Cook approx 5-8 mins on each side, or until nicely browned on each side.
3.    Serve on their own with sweet thai chili sauce, ketchup, or sauce of your choice, with other side dishes for a meal or appetizer! Or make as a replacement for a burger in a bun. It also goes nicely with a salad, on top of a bed of greens, croutons, veggies, and salad dressing! Enjoy!

Are You Sure, God?

2010-11-22T13:06:00.002+13:00

For the next year, I will be doing a deep study of the book of Isaiah. I am calling it 'One Year with Isaiah'. My heart's desire for this year has many sides to it, but the key goals are:

1. To discover the promise of the Person of Christ,

2. To deeply consume the promises of redemption and restoration within the tumultuous poetic prophecy of the prophet, Isaiah.

As I begin this journey of diving deep into the depths of Isaiah's prophecy, I am gripped. That's the best way of describing what's going in my heart. My heart is gripped by the depth of humanity's fallenness and the depth of God's willingness to restore us. Below is the expression of my own reaching heart as I discover the depths of my own depravity mirrored in the reality of Israel's failures in chapters 1 and 2 of Isaiah:

Are You Sure, God?

Are you okay with me as i flounder?

Within the ocean of questions and the swirling seas of my confusion are you okay with me?

Are you standing with me as i fall down again and again?

Are you walking with me as i stumble,

seeming to trip more than i step?

Are you the one that picks me up time and time again,

or is it just me struggling to stand on my own?

Am i just dusting myself off? Why dust my clothes when my heart is full of filth?

Are you the one behind my forward gaze,

or is it my own imagined target that stands in front of me?

Is this even going anywhere? Am I even going anywhere?

Are you stronger than the raging fire within me?

Are you more powerful than the doubts that captivate my inner world?

Am i constructed and built upon a rock,

or am i utterly and completely composed of sinking sand, no foundation, no rising hope?

Where are you in all of my humanity - God?

Surely you are initiating all of this.

Surely you knew i would fail.

Surely you knew i was empty even when i boasted fullness.

Surely you knew i could not lift myself up on my own.

Surely you must be willing to associate with me, nay, even desire and love me in the midst of my unfaithfulness and waywardness of heart.

Surely you have turned to face me, square on.

Surely you have taken up the challenge, unflinching as you take me on,

and surely you cannot fail!

Surely your love is more consuming than my hate,

your covenant of faithfulness more loyal than my infidelity,

your strength stronger than my weakness,

your truth truer than my confusion,

your stance more upright than my crumbling fall,

your gaze more constant than my winking affair,

your settled existence more solid than my restless wandering.

Surely, God, surely this must be so,

or else i could not breathe again.

I would exhale and let it all out in one long despairing sigh,

never to inhale the possibility of hope again.

Surely, God, surely this must be so,

that your goodness trumps my badness,

and makes me a lovely little heart

deep in the centre of the Heart of all Hearts!

Of this i must be sure,

that you are sure, God.

Update on my "Adopt-a-Missionary" Campaign 2010

2010-11-14T23:17:00.001+13:00

Earlier this year, I began my "Adopt-a-Missionary" campaign in Canada and have continued it back here in New Zealand, to see how many homes I can get myself "adopted" into for the next year. I thought you may want to hear a short update! So far, I have been blessed to be adopted into more homes and hearts through financial partnerships with friends and family. Here's the breakdown:

I have had responses from 3 brand new partners to sign up for monthly partnership over the next year! I have been filled with laughter and joy at seeing how God is bringing His provision. God is good.

I have had 2 regular partners renew their support for generous donations every 6 months or so. Again, I am truly grateful for these partners who have continued their support over the past 4 years.

I have had 6 partners who have given one-time donations over the past few months. I am blessed to see people giving generously even out of their own lack, and with the reality of their own financial needs. I feel strengthened and encouraged by the generosity of the Body of Christ.

I am still believing for 10 new monthly partners to adopt me for 1 year, giving between $20-$200 each month for 1 year. Please pray if you will be 1 of these 10 breakthrough partners!

UPDATED ADDRESS FOR SENDING MONEY:

For any of you who are currently financially partnering with me or planning to send money to me, please take note of the updated address here for the YWAM BC Society who collect funds for me. If you have my paperwork with the old address, put this new address on it. Thanks!

Sincerely,
Alison

Breaking bread together

2010-11-11T16:14:00.000+13:00

These days, I have enjoyed inviting friends over to eat a meal together and hang out at my place. I only have four chairs for my dining room table. Well, truthfully, I have three real chairs and one lawn chair that comes out as needed! So I have small gatherings with just a few friends. I like it. Good food, good conversation, good company. I am encouraged to get to know people and develop strong friendships, in the bonds of Christ’s love.

Recently, as well, I’ve been invited out to fellowship with other believers, who come from all different backgrounds, places, workplaces, ministries, etc. I like this too. An eclectic mix, which is what God plans to have gathered around His Throne through all of eternity. Let’s get used to the whole idea of multi-cultural gatherings. God’s into it. And in His goodness, He seems to have lovingly snuck me into some really cool, intimate gatherings of people, with the central focus being breaking bread together (AKA “having a yummy feast of food we have all brought to the table”) and enjoying great conversation, and on one of the nights, it culminates in an awesome acoustic worship jam session in the lounge. And the Spirit comes. It's delightful to experience. I love it.

God seems to put His stamp on the combination of food, fellowship and feasting on His presence. I see this pattern of His laced throughout all of Scripture: God delights in feasting and fellowship. All of history will crescendo with the Wedding Feast of the Lamb where all who belong to Him will gather for one heckuva meal. The meal of all meals! Throughout Scripture, I do not see any examples of meals eaten in solitude. I see that He calls His beloved ones into times of fasting and solitude throughout the day, drawing away from people, to get with Him, but this is temporary, and usually not in the context of mealtime. It seems His habit for mealtimes is to bring people together. Meals and eating were done as a community, as a family. I think if anyone from the Bible were to do some time travel to our modern day and head into the grocery store and see all of our frozen "single serving" pre-cooked meals, they wouldn't have any understanding of it.

As a single, I am learning the importance of sharing meals together, and making the effort to invite people over to eat at my place, or get together with others and eat at their places. I'm learning to create family around me by being family to others. I am not a one-person family. My family is a growing one, an ever-extending family.

I’m even pondering the whole idea that Jesus used a community meal to display a very intimate picture of how we are to find communion with Him. Through meeting together and all together partaking of His broken body and His spilt blood, we somehow meet with Jesus Himself. In community, we find communion with Him. When we as His corporate Body and Bride become one, we become one with Him. We find communion with Him in our solitude and our solo times, but we are missing the fullness if we do not meet together and find communion with Him as a family as well.

Jesus set the example. Break bread together, and value and honour His broken body and bleeding heart. And do this often. He showed us the way of love, which is defined at the Cross - to give up our life for another and let our heart bleed for another.

So, in the Spirit of Christ, and in remembrance of His example, I am opening my doors to allow others into my home, into my kitchen, and into my heart, to sup with one another and to sup with Christ. This is the beginning of real communion... real friendship… and this is really good.

I encourage you to do likewise.

Actually Get A Life!

2010-11-05T17:15:00.002+13:00

Yup, I said it: Get a life! ....a *REAL* life!

So, this is what is on my heart right now. I was driving home just now from a great time with a friend at a local cafe... I was so encouraged by our talk about the need for genuine community and for creating gardens wherever we go through extending friendship to one another... and the whole interesting dynamic of discerning between solitude and isolation. They are very different things... Many times our supposed solitude is actually isolation which leads to depression, but I digress... Back to getting a life...

Maybe none of you need to hear this. Maybe I'm just telling this to myself.

Sometimes our biggest problem in life, is quite simply that we just don't actually have a life. We are spending our lives on Facebook, surfing the net, watching videos, blogging every 2 hours, staring at a phone and a computer all day long... and we think that's real life. Real life is People (in real life) not just photos of people. We're not called to have relationships with photos. Really, it all comes down to the fact that we just don't have a life! If a person thinks that spending a whole weekend commenting on photos and status updates constitutes "having a life" or "having a real community", that person is sorely misguided and doesn't have a life! BUT I don't say this in a condemning way. I'm actually humbly pointing the finger back at myself, admitting that I spend a lot of my life not having a life! Even though I don't even have Facebook anymore, I spend countless hours surfing the net doing "good" and "upright" research and reading. Just because I'm not on the internet "sinning" and that I'm doing "good things" on the internet, still doesn't make me exempt from building a genuine community of real life friends, getting to know my real life neighbours, and reaching out to the real life people in the real life place that I've been planted in.

I've been learning to turn my computer off, turn off my worship music, get out of my little cocoon, get off my butt and get walking around the community and actually saying hello to people that I walk past, and striking up conversations with people in the town, as well as inviting people over for meals, or getting together with others to really get to know them. We could learn a thing or two from monks and nuns, though celibate and set apart for God, they are always built around a religious community that lives and eats together. Though a small minority go off and lock themselves up away from people, or in the past many have gone to live in caves or cell blocks or even coffins, to "get with God", the vast majority were and are called to live together, work together, and build communities with one another.

I guess I just wanted to encourage us to get off our computers, get off our butts, and shake off our ingrained isolation and anti-communal habits, and ACTUALLY start getting to know people more. Essentially, I'm telling you to stop reading this blog and go get a life ;) ...but come back online from time to time to read my blog, but if you're out there in real life actually living your life, then I guess I can't be mad that you don't have time for me on here, right?

So, wherever you are, go get off your butt and get to know someone's story now.
Ciao

Love is my Warrior

2010-11-03T23:06:00.000+13:00

Here's a reason to spend my life on beholding Love in the face of Christ and being transformed by Love through intimate friendship with Christ…

“Fear steals. Fear is absent of love. Fear is the John the Baptist of the demonic realm. It’s the forerunner to the spirit that comes to steal, kill and destroy. Fear can only grab hold of what Love hasn’t grabbed hold of. Fear can only influence that which is not under the influence of Love. Fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It invites the very thing you’re afraid of. When we react in fear, we empower the enemy to continue to steal because, in fact, fear is agreement with the enemy. That’s the truth. Believing a lie empowers the liar. It’s just how it works.”(Bill Johnson)

I’m here to say that Love wins the war. Love wins! Love is the stronger weapon. Love trumps fear, hands down. Fear does not have the final say. At the end of this story, the message of Love will be declared loud and clear. God, would you bring the truth of your Love to me. God, would your Love grab hold of all of me, so there is nothing that fear can touch. God, would your Love influence me through and through. And would you do all of these things in every dear person reading this right now. Come, Love, and have Your way in us…

Pondering His Love,
Alison

Hot Sauce n' Holiness

2010-10-29T15:21:00.002+13:00

What do hot sauce and holiness have to do with each other? I'm really not sure! But it makes for an intriguing title, doesn't it?

I have 2 things on the mind right now: hot sauce n' holiness, hence, the title.

Hot sauce:
I am having a friend over for dinner today. It's a lovely, sunny day and the birds are chirping as I type this. I made a pasta sauce n' meatballs in the slow cooker. So, it cooked away while I was at the prayer room all morning. I come back this afternoon, taste the sauce and think that it has a good basic flavour but is missing that little 'something-something'... so what does Ali do? .... Logically, I go into the spice cupboard and grab the cayenne pepper, and throw a heap into the slow cooker. So, let's just say, it's got FLAVA' now... LOTS of it ;) I hope my friend likes spice! If not, the meal will be quite a fun time, to say the least!

So, today's Cooking Lesson 101 from Alison's kitchen:
Always use hot sauce. The hotter, the better.

Holiness:
I just read a really thought-provoking and moving article today. It spoke on how we can naively go into this prayer and worship movement, thinking that life will just be one sweet oasis, but often (or always) God takes us into the wilderness to thirst and hunger. In this challenging space of hungering (with or without fasting, but often accelerated with fasting), we find humility, and we find God because we have made room for Him.... there's an empty space now that He can come and fill... Check out the article now because she explains it really well, and it's a good read :)

And today's God Lesson from Alison's secret place:
Thou shalt go read that article from start to finish (and then contemplate thy future choices).

So, with all that said... I shall sign off...

Hot n' Holy,
Alison

UPDATE: Dwelling and Not Running

2010-10-19T18:42:00.002+13:00

“I hang my keys, purse and coat on antlers every day.”

Yes, this is a true statement. This is quite possibly THE best thing about my flat (apartment). When I first moved into this place in August, I told my landlords I’d be away for 2 weeks and it would be great if I could get a coat-rack... Well I came back in September and I had a coat rack, but not just any coat-rack. I had a real antlers coat-rack! I laughed out loud the first time I saw it. I thought, ‘Are they serious?!’ …which then evolved into, ‘Well, this could be cool. Not everyone can say that they have antlers for a coat-rack. Might as well embrace it!’ And, so I have. So now, every time I have someone visit, I show off this fantastic decorative home element. How’s that for a neat story to begin my update with?!

Home Is Where the Heart of Jesus Is

I love my home here in New Zealand. I sense so deeply that Jesus Christ has made His home here with me too. Does anyone know the peace that floods the soul when you just KNOW that God is dwelling with you? Well, if you have not experienced this, I pray that this becomes your experience. Today, I pray that God visits you in the very place that you live. Just invite Him in, and make space for Him in your life, and in your actual physical living space. He doesn’t just want to be a visitor – He wants to move in. If you don’t believe me, here’s the proof from His very lips:

John 14:23

Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.

I have come to such a deep contentment with living on my own. I can’t really put into words how much I enjoy it. It isn’t to try and hide from life, or hide in shame from others, or to “run away from this world”. It has nothing to do with any of these things. It has everything to do with the fact that I really enjoy Jesus’ presence, and I enjoy my own presence. We’re both good company! I am at peace with Him and with myself. I just like BEING . HERE . NOW. Living in the present moment. Enjoying what God has put on my plate for today, for this season. And in this season, it seems to be FULL of His experiential Presence.

I feel that in my emptiness, His fullness is sweeping me away. When I am alone, I feel the fellowship of Christ and the fellowship of all the saints. I just feel ‘accompanied’ by the victories and the love of this beautiful family of God (the Body of Christ), and the Trinity in all His intricate beauty.

Photo Tour of my Home

Since I’m sharing on the topic of home, I wanted to bring you on a little photo tour of my home, my flat. I call it my Bethlehem Stable 'cos Jesus lives here and I live in the Bethlehem 'burb. I love how simple and manageable it is. I just have to take care of 1 large room and 1 bathroom and 1 car. I cook simple, but tasty meals for myself, and try and invite friends over as often as possible to cook meals for them, and I like to clean once a week to keep my place spic n’ span. I’m starting to make space to get creative, paint, design, write poetry, music and play guitar. In my free time, I’m reading some really deep, solid books! I have a beautiful neighbourhood to take walks in. Spring is here, and the leaves and flowers are blossoming, the days are getting longer, and warmer, and the sun is coming out more than the rainclouds. I feel a springtime in my heart, coinciding with the springtime in the land.

Dwelling and Not Running

I am making New Zealand my home. Living in the land and dwelling here. Not running to and fro. Just being here. Dedicated to being 100% obedient (by the grace of God) to whatever the Lord speaks to me to do, to say, and to be. Just to stay responsive to the movements of His heart, in the mundane and everyday tasks, and also in the lofty extraordinary moments. All moments are sacred. All of life is holy ground. All of my life can connect with God. Part of my obedience is simply this: ALISON, BE IN NEW ZEALAND. Don’t race around to other places. Just enjoy this nation and get His heart for this nation. This city of Tauranga. This ministry. This prayer room. This community of believers. Be here fully, Alison. It’s all about aligning my full self to a clear and central FOCUS, having my eye set on the goal, and this goal happens to be right under my feet.

Isn’t it interesting how we cry out to God so often to give us a life vision? And then once the vision comes to us, we aren’t satisfied, and we just keep reaching toward something across the proverbial fence, looking for greener pastures… “out there” wherever “there” may be. Oh, to embrace the pasture that God has us in, trusting that He knows why we are to be here, at this exact time in life. Oh, to embrace His leadership and choice of location for us. What peace and exhilaration comes when we embrace and FEEL the joy of being right where we are.

Let us not miss out on what God has prepared for us in the very place our feet are planted right now. May we dig our feet in and plant, even if just to learn not to run. Let us not miss out on the inheritance of the present moment in this present place, in the present state we are in. We are not perfected, but God is perfecting us, right here, right now.

Praiseworthy News to Share

I have recently received 2 more financial partners who have signed up on a monthly basis for the next year! I have laughed with delight at this answer to prayer!
God provided the perfect home for me, my lovely little studio apartment. I am so thankful for this fully furnished place, great Christian landlords, great price, and a safe, beautiful suburb.
I'm not sure if I mentioned it months back but I was GIVEN a car! Yes, my 22-year old little silver Nissan car is working well! What a blessing it is!
I am falling more and more in love with the Word of God! It is coming alive to me and I am growing in wisdom and revelation of His truth, His words.
New, deep, pure, real, wholesome friendships are developing here. God has given me people who challenge me in my walk with God, and who challenge me to live in wholesome purity, simple contentment, and radical pursuit of God.

Would you please pray....

For more friends to sign up to support me in monthly finances so that I am able to meet my monthly support needs for 2011. I am believing that I will have at least 10 more monthly supporters or generous one-time donations. I am only at about 40% of my monthly partnership needs.
For my studies. I am taking a Theophostic prayer training course for further equipping. I am also planning to take 4 university e-courses through the International House of Prayer University (IHOPU) in 2011. I desire to continually grow in my study of God’s Word.
For my guitar lessons, that I will break through the plateau I have hit, and to improve in skill
For grace and strength to be given to me and my family back in Canada. I love and miss them and want God to bless our family. My dream is to see my family fulfill God’s dream that He has called us to in this lifetime
For my only niece, Hera Lam, who turns ONE on October 31st. I am sad to be missing her birthday, but I'm here on this side of the planet celebrating her precious little life. Pray for God to bless that wee one with His delight.

Well, that’s all for this update. And if you forgot to check out the photo tour of my home, here is the link: http://live-creative.blogspot.com/2010/10/photo-tour-alisons-little-home-in.html

At home in His heart,
Alison

PHOTO TOUR: Alison's Little Home in Bethlehem

2010-10-19T18:03:00.002+13:00

For all you curious folk, I'm going to take you on a little photo tour of my home in New Zealand. [Suburb: Bethlehem. City: Tauranga. Nation: New Zealand] On google maps, here's where I live... zoom out and then you'll see where I live in context to the rest of the world. Gotta love high-tech interactive maps! So, enjoy the photo tour!

My street: Millbrook Drive which is the street I live on. Beautiful neighbourhood.

My entrance: The outside of my place! I rent the flat to the right side of the garage, and that is my 22-year old silver Nissan car in front of my entrance.

Lounge: This is my "living room area" which is what you see immediately upon entering my front door. I just got rid of an eye-sore loveseat, so I've got room for my guitar, and I might get a nice chair and desk and put it on the right side. We'll see...

Another view of Lounge/Bedroom Area: That's my Seagull Canadian-made guitar that I brought back from Canada this year! Yay to have a nice-sounding guitar finally with me in New Zealand. Sigh..

My kitchen: My little kitchenette. Don't have a freezer or an oven, but I can still come up with some yummy creations. I bought that coffee plunger on Trademe (Kiwi Ebay) for $6! Yay for deals!

Dining/Kitchen/Storage: So, this is my kitchen and dining "area" and where I do my computer work, so I guess we could also call this my "office" hehehe. That's the washroom/toilet to the far right of photo.

My bulletin board: This is in my kitchen by the microwave. Again, these details are for the mother. She would appreciate seeing my world in detail :) "Hi mum!"

Bedroom: Well, the "bedroom area" essentially. I stuck 2 single beds together and made a megabed. I sleep well.

My Bathroom/Toilet/Washroom: Well, I don't have a bath in this bathroom, but that's fine. I have a nice sink and toilet and mirror and shower, but of course as a girl, I need way more storage space for products!

My shower: This one is for my mum, because I think only my mum would want to know every little detail about my apartment, and I know how much she likes the 'throne room' I mean washroom/bathroom, so I'm sure she'd appreciate this shower photo. That's me in the mirror, just in case you didn't know! Peek-a-boo!

The view from Bethlehem NZ: So, this is along one of the main roads in my suburb, looking out over the rolling hills of the rest of Tauranga. In another direction (not in photo) is the ocean (Pacific Ocean and the Bay of Plenty) and other lovely views, but this gives you an idea of my suburb.

My Car: This girl is 22-years old! She was born in 1988 and runs like a gem. I've taken her all over the 2 islands of New Zealand. Wow.

Well, thank you for coming along for the photo tour. I hope you enjoyed it. Have yourself a great day!

Love,
Alison

Encountering God in a little kitchen...

2010-10-17T18:37:00.005+13:00

So, I was cooking dinner just now in my humble little kitchen. Well, multi-tasking, essentially. You see, my mind always wanders as I cook. Classic Alison. Doing one thing, but my brain is somewhere else.

So, I was thinking about a certain area in my life that I have normally kept my fingerprints all over, for lack of trust, really. Especially in this area, I didn't think God was truly trustworthy. I didn't think that He was truly good. And I REALLY thought that what He deemed good, would be the very thing that I would deem BAD. I felt that whatever I deemed GOOD for my life, He would give me the EXACT OPPOSITE, almost just to spite me, to make me feel absolutely horrible. Well, I'm speaking about this in past-tense terms, because, to put it quite simply - I'm not afraid anymore.

As I thought of this area of my life, I just felt such o p e n n e s s for the Lord to do WHATEVER THE HECK HE WANTS TO DO. It's almost as if in my heart, there is this holy "Bring-It-On" mentality within me now. I'm just not afraid of what He wants to do, or what He wants to give me. It's like, finally, there is an un-warped perception of the reality of God's Goodness sinking into this thick skull of mine.

B R I N G I T O N, G O D. I'm not afraid of You. I'm not afraid of what You want to give me.

It's like I hold this secret deep within the very root system of my heart that whispers to me, 'He is good. He is so very good. He wants to give you good things. He loves to give you good things'. Truth be told, I can't help but believe it now. It's just the way it is now. I just believe it now. God seems to have done a miracle in the foundation and soil of my heart, 'cos I certainly didn't make this happen. The truth is just sticking to me like a pesky little glue gun. It's just growing, like a big oak tree that's not going anywhere. Deal with it, Ali. Accept this new reality, Ali. You really can trust God, Ali!

Things I feared He would do in this area of my life, I'm just not afraid of anymore. Somehow, if He wills it, it is the best thing for me. Who am I to withhold my trust from Him?

U N F L I N C H I N G T R U S T. Trust in God that doesn't flinch when thinking of offering up all areas of my life to Him. Unflinching. No wincing when flinging wide the door of my heart for Him to come in and take hold of and stake His claim on. The Goodness of God has trampled all over the dark pockets of my heart that once trembled at the thought of letting Him get His hands on.

Ha!

God, do whatever the heck You wanna do with my life - because if You're in charge, it's going to end well, and go well for me. I'm not afraid. Bring it on. Lay all YOUR will upon me. Lay all YOUR dreams upon me. Lay all YOUR desires upon me. May I carry them with a light, unburdened heart. And may I receive them with a soft, open heart, for You are, quite simply, GOOD.

Now, time to eat dinner...

Jesus is...

2010-10-16T22:55:00.000+13:00

Jesus is so beautiful, dynamic, lowly yet exalted, more dangerous than I ever thought possible, yet so good beyond my comprehension. He is Jesus, the Lover and Pursuer of my soul. I have the best Man in the world! Today is the day that I choose to brag about Him. I make my boast in Him alone. I'll shout it from the rooftops. He is mine. And He is simply the best.

Consummation: the longing of our souls

2010-10-11T02:17:00.004+13:00

Definition: Brought to completion; the point at which something is complete, finalized, altogether total, or perfect; the making of the highest, most supreme perfection.

Consummation. I’ve been contemplating this word a lot these days.

I think that consummation is at the core of our heart. I believe it is our deepest longing. It is the motivation behind everything we do. We go looking for love, we give away our bodies to others, we set out on thrilling adventures, we go out to this movie, we rent that movie, we buy those new outfits and bling, we go splurge on that extravagant meal, and the list goes on and on. I honestly think we do ALL of those things because we think, ‘Maybe, just maybe, THIS time, I’ll find consummation for my deepest longing.' And yet, it remains illusive and uncaught, unattained for yet another day. And we cannot bear the reality of this. It devastates us not to experience it.

So many people (especially Christians) are crazed with the idea of finding “the one” and desperately clawing at the dream of a husband (or wife) and marriage, and let’s be honest, to just plain have sex. I believe this is because what is really wanted is simply CONSUMMATION of this deep, eternal need. This need is deeper than anything physical or visible. We want this need consummated, fulfilled, completed – and we want it right now.

I honestly believe we will not find complete consummation this side of eternity. I believe that we will be married to Christ forever, but right now, we’re betrothed to Him. I can understand this lifetime in the context of the gloriously beautiful yet agonizing reality of betrothal. We are in the days of waiting, the days of longing, the days of engagement. We are engaged to be married! Everything within us is awake, alive and engaged and we ache for the consummation of the promised marriage.

Sadly, most people misinterpret this hunger and jump into a premature consummation, in so many ways. We think because we have the need, the desire, the longing, that we have a right to instant consummation, and we won’t take no for an answer!

A couple months ago, God spoke to my spirit and said very seriously, “Don’t rush me, Ali.” That’s all He said. He said it resolutely and firmly. All I could do was just bow my head and humbly say, “Yes, Lord, as you wish.” The Lord is not in a rush. He is not in a panic. His ways are perfect, and I’m beginning to trust this.

What I’m discovering, and hope to convey here, is that there is a gift of peace available to us within the restlessness of the betrothal period. This peace comes to us when we, by the grace of God, fully accept the fact that we must long for consummation, but we must wait for God’s timing and God’s way. He has appointed the day of the wedding, and no man or woman can bypass this or rush His appointed time. In the meantime, burn. I mean, really burn. We don’t allow the burning within us to come to full maturity and fullness. So often, we snuff out the flame of unfulfilled desire long before it has had its full way in us. Oh, to be set on fire and burn passionately for what is not yet here!

As singles and marrieds, young and old, male and female, rich and poor, we are all invited into this life of burning, this life of longing for the consummation of the True Marriage that will one day come to pass. It will come to pass. Our hope is assured. Jesus Christ will return one day, glorious and radiant in passion, the one called ‘Faithful and True’ (Rev 19:11-12); this Man will valiantly ride forth to come marry His Bride (Rev 19:6-9), and we will be there, expectant and hungry and ready, with our lamps burning loud and clear (Matt 25:1-10), a raging fire within us of longing and love for the One our hearts will find full consummation with…. (Rom 8:18-25). This is His solemn vow. This is our assurance. And so, by faith, we wait…

God is your greatest encourager! That's a fact.

2010-10-06T17:10:00.003+13:00

Circa 1982! We're cute little bubs. Brothers: Brian (5), Will (1), Ali (3), Mumsie

Hello, faithful blog readers. Can I just say you look lovely today? No wait, let me restate that. You ARE lovely. Not that I can actually see you right now, but in my mind's eye, I see you, and I think you're slightly awesome. God doesn't create junk. If you think otherwise, take up your case with God Himself. He'll set you right, very very soon :) God loves you and thinks He made a pretty fine piece of art when He created you, so who are YOU (the created) to argue with the Creator? Who are you (the canvas) to argue with the Artist? If the Artist likes the masterpiece He created, that's all that matters. You're just going to have to accept that! He saw you and said it was very good. He only creates good things (read Genesis 1:31)

That's truth. If you don't believe this, print this blog out, and then go grab a Bible (or go to Biblegateway.com) and look up Psalm 139 about how you are wonderfully made. You were intentionally created in the heart of God to reflect His beauty. You are awesome. Enough said.

Wow, I haven't even gotten to the point of this blog post! I'm on fire!!! Hahahahahahaha. It's been happening so often, lately. Just this overwhelming desire to encourage all of you, my friends and family, and online strangers who just happen upon this blog. I want you to be deeply encouraged. You were meant to live in a continual state of deep encouragement. If you disagree with me on this one, then it just means you have not been made mature in the encouragement of God - yet. But don't get down about this! Just jump in and BE willing to be encouraged, by God and man! We live in such deep discouragement in this world! People are going around like Walking Depressions on the face of this planet. It is heartbreaking to me. How can we survive cloaked in such oppressive heaviness? You can't! That's why Christ brought His hope to us at the meeting place of the beautiful Cross, our Tree of Life! Yes, the cross was a bloody, devastating event, but it was also the most beautiful display of sacrificial unfailing love in all of history. There will NEVER be another display of such Big Love as we have witnessed at the cross of Christ. At the cross, we find Endless Mercy, one of the most beautiful attributes of God's character. At the cross, we find Christ, in all His Bridegroom love, fighting for His Bride, making an entryway for us in all our sinful, rebellious, disinterested, cheating ways, and calls us inside as His beloved to come straight into deep communion and intimate fellowship with the God of the Universe. This is a good good good God. We cannot understand such love. But we set our hearts for all of eternity to discover this love.

Here's what I really want to share...

I left the prayer room today singing in my car. The line I kept repeating was:

You love to forgive

You delight in mercy

This lovely chorus is based on the verse from Micah 7:18 that says, 'Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.

Last week we had a speaker from the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Allen Hood, share on the heart of mercy in God. And he shared such simple yet profound truths. One of the many amazing things mentioned was this:

Who are we to think that God doesn't like his job? We somehow think that God is so displeased with us, and so annoyed with the fact that He has to continually forgive these fallen creatures He so regrettfully made (not true!). We think He is fed up with us, and He is more frustrated that He has to keep mentoring us, discipling us, forgiving and redeeming us, giving out mercy over and over and over again, like it's a distasteful job that he wishes He could just clock out of and go home to get away from.

NO! God loves His job! He loves to forgive and He DELIGHTS in mercy. Delight means 'to take pleasure in'. So, when God thinks of things He wants to do in His spare time, His free time, and what He'd do for pleasure, He would choose to spend time with His creation, and give out forgiving love, give out mercy upon mercy, for all our failings. He is the Eternal Encourager, who delights in encouraging His kiddies. His beloved kiddies. Who is this God? We can't quite 'get' this Guy!

So, He doesn't just put up with me when I'm still a work in progress, and not yet made 'whole' and 'mature' and 'perfect'? He still delights in His job of growing me up, and cleaning me up, and showing me kindness when I've failed Him (over and over and over and over again)?

What the bonky bonk?!

God, surely this is too good to be true! But Your Word says this. If we did a study through the whole Bible, we'd be astounded at the unfailing mercies of God! He loves His job! He loves to show us mercy, our whole life long, as we fumble our way through the wanderings of a sincere, growing follower of Christ.

God loves to forgive.
God delights in mercy.
God takes pleasure in mercy.
God loves His job.

God loves walking with me through this continual progression of growing, fumbling, getting up, tripping, receiving love, failing, stumbling to walk again...... etc.

God thinks He has the best job in the world. What a God. I must get to know You more. I do not know You yet. Perfect me in the way of Your forgiveness and mercy, both to myself, and to others. I must become like You. I cannot find another worthy blueprint of which to build my life upon.

God, thank you for your infinite forgiveness and mercy. You are the most beautiful Encourager. Thank you for the cross. The cross is my only reference point for hope and encouragement and strength. Thank you for intimate fellowship with Your heart. You are generous beyond belief and I love You.

His,
Alison

He's captured my weak heart

2010-10-01T13:32:00.001+13:00

This week I've just stood before the Throne of God, basking in His glory, and letting Him carry me deep into His heart, again and again. This God we live for is boundless, limitless, and I cannot comprehend the depth that exists within His being! Ah! I wanted to share a short quote that blows my brains out. Kaboom. The whole thing is awesome, but especially the first sentence and the last sentence which I've underlined. Read it over a few times. THIS is why I've given my life to day and night prayer, worship and adoration of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords:

"Night and day prayer is not a testimony to human dedication but rather to the power of Jesus Christ to capture weak hearts and hold them fast in unending preoccupation. That His indescribable glory would be seen and His matchless worth treasured above all else is the cornerstone upon which night and day prayer must be founded and the reason it continues each passing moment. A house of prayer has its inception when someone beholds the majesty of Jesus and in wisdom concludes that the only reasonable response is for men to laud Him ceaselessly." (Excerpt from: JustinRizzo.com)

Unwaivering Hope and Faith

2010-09-24T23:48:00.003+12:00

I have been going back through some personal journal entries from this past year, and I wanted to open my heart and share a couple short excerpts from them. I pray they are an encouragement to you.

Throughout this year, (well, in actuality, all of my life I have felt this, but specifically I am getting deep revelation on this in 2010), God has spoken deeply to my heart about how I am called to declare the “thriving garden of the Lord in the midst of a wilderness desert”. I see this picture all throughout Scripture, especially laced through the books of Jeremiah and Isaiah. This could seem a dream-like analogy, but I mean it in a very practical, down-to-earth, day-to-day way. I feel very much called of God to encourage myself and those around me to discover the truth -- that in God you truly can thrive in the most challenging of life circumstances. Those places of deepest grief and desertion, can become the very place of deep and lasting joy and peace in God. It sounds so crazy and we can get so crushed under the burden of discouraging realities that we lose sight of the TRUE reality: God’s life flowing within us. In the midst of the pain and the hurt and the death, God is working His Life in us. This is not just fanciful, wishful thinking. This is truth. And so out of this growing revelation of this truth, came forth the cry of my heart earlier this year when I wrote,

“God, prepare a garden in my heart, in the middle of the desert. May You give me eyes to see as You do. Eyes that see a garden when all others only see a desert. May I be a crazy one, a blazing one, that creates gardens wherever I place my feet.” (Alison Lam).

That is the cry of my heart. And I pray that if you are one such deserted one, in the midst of the dry and weary wilderness, that you will become a garden. God has declared it. The God of the Universe, who knit you together in your mother’s womb and who created the very earth that you dwell on, HE desires to thrive and flourish your heart. Not just when things are lovely and free of conflict or difficulties, but IN THE MIDST of them. God, would You impart this truth to Your children. Plant gardens in hearts today.

I came across another journal entry today where I was arguing with God about how I didn’t believe I had the strength to carry the tension of holding as yet unfulfilled promises in my heart in light of the fact that there was no real proof that they would ever come to pass. In my discouragement and weakness, I cried out to God, begging for Him to take this cup from me. The cup of painfully believing that His promises over my life are good and true, yet seeing no proof of this. It’s an interesting thing to experience the Almighty Calm of God while I throw up my fists to Him and throw my accusations His way. He is so ‘Other Than’. He is so unlike me, yet He holds the key to everything I am. It is such a paradox! A beautiful mystery. And it's in these daily struggles that the Lord so beautifully comes and speaks a word and silences my arguments. Such a time came as I journaled about this months back ...and God journaled back:

God, I can’t carry it.

Yes, you can.

No, I can’t. Please take it. I don’t want it anymore.

You must carry it. You were called to hope. You must carry it.

God, I can’t do this without Grace. I must have Grace or I will buckle.

She will be your daily companion. Grace be yours.

The fact that God said I was called to hope really punched me in the gut, when He spoke this. A black-and-white reminder of what I am called to. God has called me to hope. To be ‘The Hoping One’ and that God is most glorified in me when I maintain a hopeful position in my heart, in all areas of life. The moment I stop hoping, even if circumstances seem to agree that I should give up hope, the Lord’s heart is grieved, because one of God’s job descriptions for my life is to faithfully maintain hope against all hope. I am to be a crazy Hoper (if that’s even a word!). Sometimes I think God is more concerned about the position of our heart, than He is in the actual end results. Even if whatever I hoped in does not come to pass before I die, He will be pleased that I continued on in hope. The same goes for those of you who are believing for healing. I believe He is more delighted when we maintain unwaivering faith and belief that God desires to heal us, than He is concerned about whether we get healed or not. We get so discouraged that we are not getting healed, and somehow condemn our faith as weak and failing, but God is on His throne ecstatic that we have faith, and continue to have faith, day after day! God is the one who can take care of the outcome and the actual healing happening, but we can just do our part and holding fast to faith and hope!

So, to all of us, who are painfully carrying the tension of hoping and believing for something that has not yet come, take courage and continue in it! Hope on! Keep believing by faith! You MUST NOT give up. This is the strong command of God. You must not give up.

May the empowering and strengthening Grace of our God be yours in full measure as you carry the weight of hope, day in and day out. He is faithful. He hears your cries. He sees the hopeful turning of your heart towards Him. Nothing is unseen in the Father’s eyes. Grace be with you.

In Him,
Alison

UPDATE: New ministry role AND some other cool stuff!

2010-09-24T00:06:00.002+12:00

To my lovely friends and family and supporters:

Well, I’ve had heaps of you asking for more details on what I’ve been up to the past little while, and what I’m up to next, so here is the long-awaited update! I’ll break it up into mini sections to share my news. Be sure to read right to the bottom, as I’m making some stuff available to you for FREE! Also... I would love to hear back from you even if it’s short and sweet, so hit ‘Reply’ and let me know how I can be praying for you and what’s new in your part of the world! Let’s keep in touch. I love and miss you all!

Yours in Christ,
Alison

CANADA: THE PAST FEW MONTHS
I returned to Canada from May to August after the 3 month House of Prayer internship in New Zealand earlier this year. Here are some highlights from Canada:

I met my niece, Hera, who is now 11 months old! She is a lovely beautiful bundle of joy, with a good set of vocal chords on her. She loves to shriek a lot! She is definitely related to me ;)

Auntie Ali and Hera chillin!

Hera conducting the family choir! :)

I got to do some road trips to visit some wonderful friends and family and it was a beautiful summer to travel around in. I hadn’t had a Canadian summer since 2006 and it was a beautiful one! I got out swimming in the lovely freshwater lakes and rivers OFTEN. Yay!!!

Beautiful Lake Huron sunsets at Sauble Beach!

My mum and friend Nancy and I hanging out with Wiarton Willie the famous weather-predicting groundhog!

To celebrate my 31st birthday, my lovely friends took me to Greece! No, not literally…. But we have this tradition where we “go to a country” for our birthday. We pick a nation we want to go to and we decorate the house and dress up for it, and make extravagant food from that country. So, this year I wanted to "go to" Greece, so we had “Dinner at Dusk in Greece” as the theme and got all dressed up like lovely Grecian girls!

My beautiful friends at my Greek Birthday Party!

I had the wonderful opportunity to go down to Missouri and go to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City (www.ihop.org). They have had non-stop prayer and worship going for the past 11 years, and I got to be a part of it! The Holy Spirit is awakening people and filling them with joy and intimate encounters with Christ. It was like being on a Heavenly adventure in the Spirit for 2 whole weeks, as well as being able to visit some really good friends, and my cousins Sarah and Rachel got to come too! If you're in the States and are hungry for more of God, book a ticket and get yourself over to IHOP-KC! Check out their website above.

My newest missionary photocard! If you'd like one for your fridge, just email me!

I held 2 missions nights when I was at home, sharing the vision of what’s next for me, and what God has been doing in me especially this past year. I was encouraged by those that came out. I invited new people to partner with me for the next 2 years. and slowly but surely I'm seeing breakthrough in new financial partnerships. Maybe you will be the next to join my support team.

NZ: EARTHQUAKE ADVENTURES THE PAST FEW WEEKS

I returned to New Zealand the end of August, and had some time to settle into my new flat (apartment) here in Tauranga, New Zealand, on the North Island. Then the beginning of September, I drove down in my car to the South Island to get to the YWAM Oxford base. I was there for about 2 weeks. One day after I arrived, we had the 7.1 earthquake. Yes, I drove 15+ hours south to be 15 minutes away from the epicentre of a huge earthquake. Who does that?! Apparently, I do! I shared a bit about it in my last little update. For a full week, we had hundreds of mini quakes and aftershocks. Very surreal to regularly hear this loud groan come from the earth below you and then the buildings shake, multiple times a day... and waking you up in the night. There has been a LOT of damage in Christchurch which is 30 minutes away from Oxford, but thankfully my friends are all okay down there and the YWAM base is not damaged. Please keep praying for all those whose lives have been affected.

I spoke on the final week of the Ski + Snowboard DTS (the school that I directed the past 2 yrs). It was awesome to see the girls that I handed the school over to, leading it, and growing in their own styles of leadership. I was one proud 'mama'. It was a lovely few days, teaching on the DTS, and sharing on Communion with Christ, and laying our lives down for Him and for others, as they set out on their 2 month outreaches. They left last week to go out into the nations! Then I got all my stuff out of storage at the YWAM base, visited some amazing friends down there (who are my New Zealand family) and I drove back up here to Tauranga on the North Island. So, now I can begin this new season of ministry….

NEW MINISTRY ROLE FOR THE NEXT 2 YRS:

For those of you who were not able to make it to my missions nights in Canada, I’ll share briefly what I’m up to next! After doing the 3 month internship with the Tauranga House of Prayer (www.thop.co.nz) God clearly spoke to me that I was to apply to staff at the House of Prayer the next 2 years. So, I'm still connected with YWAM but my daily ministry will be with THOP. So, I will be full-time in a prayer room, doing prayer/worship ministry and intense study of the Word. I am part of a team continuing to pioneer a prayer house that will eventually go day and night (24-7!). So, that means I’ll be in a prayer room 24 hours a week, Monday to Friday (that's about 4-6 hrs a day), as well as be involved with staff small groups, staff classes, and help serve the THOP mission base in any way I can. I will be involved with doing a lot of worship ministry in this next season. So, that is my main focus for the next while. No leadership for awhile. Just ministering to God!!!! As well, I am available to do itinerant speaking and teaching ministry with YWAM and other ministries as God opens the doors. I am also going to see what opportunities may come my way in connecting THOP and YWAM together in ministry trips into Turkey over the next few years. As you all remember, I took an outreach team to Turkey in 2009 and God has burned a desire in me to return there with ministry teams to see God awaken the hearts of the Turkish people for Christ! If you would like to read more about what I am doing, please email me and ask as many questions as you like. I’ve also written more about my ministry on my website here: http://live-creative.blogspot.com/p/what-do-i-do-faq.html

UPDATED WEBSITE: http://www.AlisonLam.com

I’ve done a full re-vamp of my website in the past month or so... with updated bio’s, and pages with info for my friends, family and supporters. I write personal blogs and poetry fairly regularly with what God has put on my heart, so bookmark it and visit often! You can subscribe there to get email notifications of new blogs I write.

YOU CAN NOW LISTEN TO MY TEACHING ONLINE FOR FREE!

I shared earlier about how I taught on the DTS on “Communion with Christ as Laid-down Lovers”. They recorded it so you can listen to it as if you were there! Some of you probably wonder what I’ve been learning the past few years. Go listen to the MP3’s and you’ll find out! I share very openly about various experiences I've had over the past couple years...

I’ve made my lecture recordings (MP3’s) available online for free with no copyright, as well as PDF notes of my teachings. Feel free to download it as much as you want, and burn copies for others.It's great to put on your iTunes and iPod and listen in your spare time or as you're driving

Link to FREE downloads: http://live-creative.blogspot.com/p/teaching.html

CONTACT INFO: ALISON LIVES IN BETHLEHEM!

(The Tauranga Suburb of Bethlehem in New Zealand, not Jesus’ hometown over in Israel! Is it just me that thinks this is cool?!?!)

Ali lives in Bethlehem. This is the first time I’ve lived on my own in over 4 years! I have my own apartment. It’s a cute little haven for God and me. Take note of my new contact info and phone me, write me snail mail letters, or send parcels/packages full of goodies from your part of the world!! Keep in touch! I’m no longer on Facebook, so you may have to make more of an effort to communicate, but I think I’m worth it, ya?

Mailing Address:

Alison Lam

27 Millbrook Drive

Bethlehem

Tauranga 3110

New Zealand

Cell: +64 27 368 8218 (call and txt)

Home: +64 7 579 2549 (NOTE: for calls to my home line, please first notify me by txt or call my cell or email me with the time you will call so I can plug the shared homeline in to receive your call)

Well, that's all for now. Check out the photos below. Bless you heaps!

Love,

Ali

Profound little thoughts

2010-09-19T01:15:00.007+12:00

I have a few minutes on my hands right now, so I wanted to share a few thoughts. I will skip from one thing to the next, and you can chew on it!

It is a beautiful thing to be WHOLESOME. As Christians, we can get caught up in the unwholesome traps of the world and lose our way. What joy comes when we can just find peace with the calling to a Wholesome lifestyle. A simple way of life, that is unashamedly CLEAN-CUT and HOLY and PURE. It is beautiful.

The other day I was pondering JOY. And I thought, how is it that I've gone through lots of poop in my life, but I have this profound joy? And this thought came to me: "Joy follows me wherever I go. I have made it my slave." (Alison Lam) What a powerful statement. I want this to be true of me all the days of my life. Joy is my slave. Think on that one! Selah

I was reading the amazing book "The Way of the Heart" by Henri Nouwen, the other day, and one thing that stood out (though a million things impacted me!), was this: "The goal of our life is not people. It is God." (Henri Nouwen) How true! How true! How true! We get this mixed up, OFTEN. Even those of us whose ministry is people, we can fall into delusion when we elevate people over God. We are no good to others if we are not connected to God. God is the beginning and end of all things. If we keep HIM as our goal, THEN we might have something good to give to people, His image-bearers.

I don't know where I got this quote, but I'd written it in my prayer journal a few weeks back, and it's knocking me over with its simple profundity: "The only thing that makes a man great is humility and faith." - if humility and faith truly were the only things that marked your life as being "great", would you be great? Humbling thought!

Here's a doozie! "Without God's spirit in me, I am deluded." (Alison Lam) - does that make me cool to put my name in brackets after a quote? You don't have to answer this. I'm just rambling. Anyway, back to the quote. The truth of this statement is hitting me a lot in 2010... Without God, I am a noisy mouthpiece who goes off into my own self-delusions and self-glorifying rants. It is only with God, that I have any chance of staying in the truth of HIS reality. Without Him, I'm deluded. Without Him, YOU'RE deluded. Word up!

Here's another thing that's got me these days. Full-strength truth. "A diluted Jesus with a watered-down Gospel never saved anyone." (Alison Lam). If you water it down so that people can swallow it, you're not giving them something that can truly cure them. Give them full-strength Jesus, undiluted Jesus!

We run from our LONELINESS in so many ways, day in and day out. Crazy to think that for many people, they are their own worst enemy. The thought of being alone with oneself can be the most frightening thing. Worse still, the thought of being alone AND IN SILENCE with oneself can freak many people out. I'm learning to befriend silence and solitude and alone-ness. Make it my friend. Or even better, make it my slave, so it SERVES me, and fulfills a good purpose. Here's a great article on loneliness, to any of you who are lonely: http://www.ronrolheiser.com/columnarchive/?id=530 - Below is a poem from that article from the poet, Hafiz. I'll end with it.

Don't surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.
Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice
So tender,
My need of God
Absolutely
Clear.
(Hafiz)

Shaken up in snowy Oxford, New Zealand

2010-09-04T22:22:00.005+12:00

Hello from snowy, shaky Oxford, South Island of New Zealand!

To all of you who may be concerned... we are all fine in our neck o' the woods, here in smalltown rural Oxford area. I drove down from the North Island a couple days ago, was greeted by a huge snowfall yesterday, and then earlier this morning around 4:30am, awoke to the house shaking like a rollercoaster! At first I thought that a transport truck was crashing into the house, then I wondered if it was a big storm, then it dawned on me that it was an earthquake. I'd never experienced an earthquake before, so I had no idea what to expect... It was really quite "unbelievable" as in....I didn't quite believe it as it was happening... The shaking went on for about a full minute, where I still lay in my bed in disbelief, and awe, and a little bit of excitement (the kind of adrenaline rush that's a mix of fear and excitement). It wasn't til after the shaking, that I got out of bed, relieved that the house hadn't fallen in on me, and I went out to the family I was staying with and we caught the News updates on TV, where we realized just 30 mins away in Christchurch, near the epicentre of the 7.4 earthquake, that real damage and destruction had occurred in that city. Power out, roads wrecked, buildings caved in, cars smashed and many people's homes damaged and belongings inside. I believe only a few people were injured. The tremors, and aftershocks, jolted us about every 30 minutes for the rest of the morning, but by the afternoon and evening, it seems to have stopped. I am thankful that all the people I know in Christchurch and this area of the South Island are all okay. But we need to be praying for all of those who are affected by all the damage done by the earthquake. And let us pray that God is lifted up in this and that people are awakened to the reality of the frailty of their human life and their need for a Saviour!

It's all quite surreal, but it just reminds me of the fact that we truly are in the last days, and they have prophesied that these types of groanings from the earth would increase as Christ prepares to return to us.

At one point, I realized I would embrace the shakings, because God, ultimately, is in charge of the earth, and Jesus did say that He would shake all that could be shaken, so that what cannot be shaken will be all that remains. I thought, 'Wow, Lord, You are so powerful.' and I stood in awe of what His mighty outstretched hand can do. We are such small, frail, feeble humans in the hands of a Mighty GOD. It's times like these that my own life is put in perspective to the God of the Universe. And yet, this Magnificent One knows every detail of my heart and intimately seeks me out in the wee hours of the morning just to whisper to me, 'I love you, Ali' - What a beautiful God He is.

I cannot help but repeat His name over and over under my breath all day long. I seem consumed with His Name. He distracts me constantly day in and day out. And I have only experienced but a small hint of who He is.

I find myself enjoying solitude and alone-ness more and more these days as God's presence comes to rest with me in greater measure. I believe that the silence of being on my own right now, without music, without media, without a lot of company around me, brings me closer into feeling the movements of His heart. I am becoming less and less afraid of just being alone, because as I empty myself of all that I've run to in the past, I find His fullness is filling me more and more. The pain of loneliness has lost so much of its sting, as it has become the doorway into intimate communion with Christ.

Oh Jesus Christ, may you valiantly pursue all those that are reading this right now. May you shake up their life, so they can make room for Your friendship.

This week I'll be speaking on the last week of the Snowboard DTS lecture phase before they are sent out into the nations to share the love of God with those who have not heard of this beautiful good news. My heart is full with a message from God's heart. Pray that I may speak boldly and obediently, with a clarity that comes from the Holy Spirit, and the anointing of His hand on the words I speak. Pray that the Holy Spirit would intimately minister to every staff and student who attends the lectures. And pray that I am transformed from glory to glory as well! CONSUME ME, JESUS!

God bless you and may His face shine gloriously upon you...

Shaken and stirred for Him,
Alison

P.S. Just as I sent this, we had another tremor, aftershock. It is happening again right now. Be praying.

Sailing South Again to be with My Jesus!

2010-08-23T02:32:00.005+12:00

My 3 months in Canada are now at the end. I am so grateful for this season here. I leave here very very blessed. Nothing but positives to say about my time at home. God is so compassionate. He knew I needed this. Ask me more by emailing me if you'd like to know more. I'd be happy to share!

Anyway, I will be sending out an official Mission Update by email soon and I'll paste it on here soon. If you'd like to be on my mailing list please email me and I'll add you.

So, I set sail tomorrow (sailing by Airplane, that is!) for New Zealand. The southland is calling my name once again. It is home to me now. Jesus is calling me home. I know that Christ has been with me here these few months, and that He is always with me, but it feels very specifically like He is calling me to be with Him in a deeper and specific way in New Zealand, in this next season with the Tauranga House of Prayer. And so it is with eager anticipation that I head back there. Jesus, I'm coming!

So, stay tuned for my new contact information. In the meantime, email is the best way to reach me, or comment me here on my blog.

Lots of love,
Alison

P.S. This is one of my favourite hymns "My Jesus I Love Thee". Here are the lyrics:

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine; 

For Thee all the follies of sin I resign; 

My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou; 

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me,

And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree;

I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death, 

And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;

And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight, 

I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;

I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow, 

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

Hungering and Thirsting: our way of life

2010-08-11T04:27:00.004+12:00

Today is my last day in Kansas City at the International House of Prayer where I have spent countless hours at the feet of Christ, and sharing fellowship with some beloved friends and family. God has seriously brought some divine appointments, or shall I say "divine-bumping-into's" - God is good! I thought I would leave off with a great quote and poem. I'll be sending out an official update soon. Stay tuned for the latest news. God bless you as you seek His face, Alison.

Late Have I Loved
by Augustine from 'Confessions'

Late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient and so new; late have I loved you!
You were within me, and I was outside; and I sought you outside and in my loneliness fell upon those lovely things that you have made. You were with me, but I was not with you. I was kept from you by those things, yet had they not been in you, they would not have been at all. You called me and cried to me and broke open my deafness; you sent forth your beams and shone upon me and chased away my blindness, you breathed your fragrance upon me and I drew in my breath and now I pant for you; I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst for you; you touched me, and I burn for your peace.

A Prayer
by Anselm from 'Proslogian'

My God,
I pray that I may so know you and love you that I may rejoice in you.
And if I may not do so fully in this life
Let me go steadily on to the day when I come to that fullness...
Meanwhile, let my mind meditate on it
Let my tongue speak of it
Let my heart love it
Let my mouth preach it
Let my soul hunger for it
My flesh thirst for it
And my whole being desire it
Until I enter into the joy of my Lord.

Prayer and worship that never stops!

2010-08-04T09:12:00.004+12:00

I write here from Kansas City, Missouri, at the International House of Prayer where you can join me via live webstream of the prayer room, at any time of the day or night! It's a non-stop prayer and worship meeting :) I just pulled a 24 hr continuous time of prayer and worship with a friend here. What an amazing time! And now I'm back here again after 6 hrs sleep, for another time in the prayer room (not another all-niter...). This will be the shortest blog post I've written in years, and that's all I'm going to say. Short and sweet :). I'll just sign off with an amazing verse, a nugget of goodness from the book of Job:

Job 19:25-27

25 For I know that my Redeemer lives,  And He shall stand at last on the earth;

26 And after my skin is destroyed, this I know,  That in my flesh I shall see God,

27 Whom I shall see for myself,  And my eyes shall behold, and not another.  How my heart yearns within me!

In the hope of seeing His face,
Alison

Ministry FAQ

2010-08-01T21:30:00.001+12:00

Frequently Asked Questions:

What is the biblical and historical journey of the prayer movement?
What is the Tauranga House of Prayer all about?
What is an "Intercessory Missionary"?
Where is the concept of the "house of prayer" found in the Bible?
Is a certain prayer format important?
Why are the concepts of “beauty” and “enjoyable prayer” important for the house of prayer?
How does music and singing fit into a house of prayer?

Q: What is the biblical and historical journey of the prayer movement?

A: It is important to understand that the modern day prayer movement is simply an extension of the historical prayer movement that began in Genesis 4 when, in the wake of Adam's exile from the Garden and the giving of the promise of a coming Deliverer, "men began to call upon the name of the Lord."

From Adam, Eve, Enoch and Noah crying out for the promise of that deliverer, to Moses and the establishment of the priesthood, from Samuel in the House of the Lord to David and the building of the Tabernacle where 4,000 musicians and 288 singers ministered to the Lord day and night, from the emergence of prophetic voices such as Elijah, Jeremiah and Malachi; from the place of prayer to raising up of John the Baptist and Anna to pray and fast to prepare Israel for the first coming, from the day and night prayer in Jerusalem of the early church to the missions movement that grew out of Antioch where day and night was first established outside of Jerusalem in the first century we see the stream of prayer flowing steadily throughout Biblical times.

And in post-Biblical history we see the emergence of the desert fathers in the North African wilderness to challenge the church of the day in the first 4 centuries. Around 550 AD we see Comgal in Bangor Ireland who established day and night prayer in the spirit of the Tabernacle of David where hundreds of men sang the Psalms 24 hours a day. From Bangor came a missions movement that touched the edges of the Roman Empire. Between then and the time of the Reformation we saw the pioneering of thousands of missions bases centred around day and night prayer in various different expressions. Out of one of those expressions came a young monk named Martin Luther who sparked the Reformation and forever changed history. In the wake of the Reformation came a century of sustained day and night prayer and worship in Hernhut Germany. From Hernhut came the greatest missions movement in history that covered the globe.

Between then and now the earth has seen day and night prayer catalyzing hundreds of dramatic revivals from Edinburgh to Wales to New England to Columbia, Indonesia, China, South Korea and beyond.

Following in this tradition, in 1999 the International House of Prayer started a prayer and worship meeting in Kansas City, which has now spread to numerous other locations around the world. Since 2006, at the ends of the earth, in Tauranga New Zealand, God is raising up day and night prayer and worship in the spirit of the Tabernacle of David as full time singers and musicians minister to the Lord and messengers are forged "to prepare the earth for Jesus' return".

Q: What is the Tauranga House of Prayer (THOP) all about?

A: In January 2006, young adults began meeting together daily, marking the beginning of prayer gatherings that still continue to this day. And in the grace of God, we're labouring to establish a prayer meeting that continues until the second coming.

While THOP is deeply committed to missions equipping, theological education and radical acts of justice, incessant worship and prayer is at the heart of the community and ministry of the Tauranga House of Prayer Missions Base.

All of our prayer meetings are open to the public (including our Tuesday night preaching services). For those who are looking to move to Tauranga long term or for those that wish to join THOP as a full time staff member, we run a 3 month Awaken Internship that serves as the primary on-ramp and entry point. Visit our website for further info: www.thop.co.nz

Q: What is an "Intercessory Missionary"?

A: We refer to our full-time House of Prayer staff as "intercessory missionaries." They raise their own support to work as full-time missionaries who reach out to others from a lifestyle of prayer and worship. Today, about 50 believers (staff, students, and interns) serve full-time, investing about 40 hours per week as they go from the prayer room to the classroom and then to ministry outreaches and works of service. Also, as those who are committed to the forerunner message, we are preparing ourselves to prepare others for the unique dynamics of the generation in which the Lord returns.

Q: Where is the concept of the house of prayer found in the Bible?

A: The phrase “house of prayer” is drawn from Isaiah 56:7, where it is used twice. “…These [foreigners] I will bring to My holy mountain and give them joy in My house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and sacrifices will be accepted on My altar; for My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations.”

Jesus refers to this verse when casting the money changers from the temple, as recorded in Mark 11:17. “Then He taught, saying to them, “Is it not written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations'? But you have made it a 'den of thieves.'” (Transcribed also in Matt. 21:13 and Luke. 19:46)

The heart of the house of prayer is perhaps best captured by David's heart cry in Psalm 27:4: “One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple.”

King David actually established one example of a house of prayer, known as the tabernacle of David. While referred to in many parts of the Bible, the best description of this biblical house of prayer is found in 1 Chronicles 16:1–37:

(1) So they brought the ark of God, and set it in the midst of the tabernacle that David had erected for it... (4) And [David] appointed some of the Levites to minister before the ark of the Lord, to commemorate, to thank, and to praise the LORD God of Israel... (37) So [David] left Asaph and his brothers there before the ark of the covenant of the Lord to minister before the ark regularly, as every day's work required...

We believe God is restoring the spirit and type of this expression of worship and prayer in a physical location. The best picture of what the house of prayer strives for can be found in the book of Revelation, in the many descriptions of the redeemed gathered before the throne of God, such as:

The four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each having a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. And they sang a new song, saying: “You are worthy to take the scroll, and to open its seals; for you were slain, and have redeemed us to God by your blood out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation.” (Rev. 5:8–9)

Q: Is a certain prayer format important?

A: It's important for the House of Prayer to be organized, so there is no confusion for leaders and participants. We believe God works through anointed leadership and this allows "freedom in the Spirit." While He is the Head, He looks to partner with us while we are here on the earth.

Each house of prayer in each city functions somewhat differently from other houses of prayer and usually takes on the “flavor” of the region for which they are contending. The format at our HOP is to aim for 24/7 prayer and worship. We have been going in New Zealand since 2006 and we have set our hearts to continue until the return of Christ Jesus to earth.

Q: Why are the concepts of “beauty” and “enjoyable prayer” important for the House of Prayer?

A: The highest expressions of beauty are the beauty of God (Ps. 27:4) and the beauty He imparts to the Bride of Christ (Eph. 5:27; Ps. 149:4). These two realms of beauty provide a solid foundation and fuel for night and day prayer.

Fascination: The heart of man was designed to be fascinated with who God is and what He looks like—never to be dull and lifeless. Part of our journey is rediscovering how amazingly beautiful and fascinating He is.

Confidence: As we begin to understand how amazingly beautiful He is, we also begin to understand that He has passed His own beauty on to us. We stand confident in His love and grace, sustained in affection; not in shame or fleshly motivations.

Pleasure and joy are indispensable to the house of prayer. He assured us through the prophet Isaiah that He would give us joy in the place of prayer (Isa. 56:7). The psalmist said, “At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” (Ps. 16:11)

In the house of prayer, we are operating under a paradigm of a God who is beautiful, fascinating and full of delightful pleasures. These qualities are inexhaustible on this side of eternity and are a worthy and wise pursuit for the human heart.

Q: How does music and singing fit into a house of prayer?

A: We are in the midst of a global worship movement, focused on prayer and intimacy with God. It is vital that prayer becomes enjoyable for every believer. This releases a spirit of devotion, filling the heart with worship.

Many who have begun houses of prayer will attest to the “rock-pile” prayer meetings, where one feels as though he or she is simply chipping away little by little at the resistance around them with very little anointing and power. Fortunately, through God's sovereign design, when worship is combined with intercession, a spiritual stirring occurs through the corporate body of believers.

Music awakens the heart to beauty. Since God is a musical being and we have been created in His very image, we have been made with a musical spirit. Almost every person finds solace, comfort or expression in music. Again, this is God's design. In heaven, music and verbal expression (prayer) are never separated from one another. We base most of our prayer meetings in the house of prayer upon this concept and value.

When King David instituted the tabernacle, he knew that worship and devotion were major components of day and night intercession. He must have possessed deep revelation of how heaven hosts a prayer meeting. We are seeking to emulate this heavenly model, found in Revelation 5:8. We call this particular model "harp and bowl intercession."

Info Taken From These Links:

Revolutionaries for Christ

2010-07-23T07:46:00.003+12:00

Check out this awesome quote!

"We are passionately, utterly, completely, in love with God, or should be, as we progress along this road of our Apostolate. We breathe, we live, we eat, we sleep, only for one reason: To serve him whom our hearts love, and to extend his kingdom. Unless our hearts are filled with the charity of Christ, and we burn with the zeal of this charity, we are like sounding brass and tinkling cymbals. Without love, nothing that we do will matter. No restoration will follow. Our activities will only be extensions of things Communists and pagans do. The difference between us and them is motivation. We do these things because we cannot help doing them, because, like a people on fire, we must serve; otherwise our love for God will simply tear us apart! And so that is our vocation -- to burn, to die, to become a flame, so as to make room for Christ to grow in us. You have no past, no future. You have no mother, no father. You have no wife, no husband. You have no children, no relatives. You are alone, facing your Lover, God. No one and nothing is between you and God." (Catherine Doherty, excerpt from the book "Journey To The Heart of Christ")

Event: Alison's Missions Dessert Nights

2010-07-14T14:02:00.003+12:00

Calling all family and friends in Ontario, Canada! You're invited! I am holding 2 separate Mission Sharing Dessert Nights, so you can choose from 2 different dates and locations for what works best for you.

At both nights, I will be sharing about the new season of missions that I am going into! I am going to be a part of pioneering some new and exciting things and would love to share the vision God has given me for the future! Please come out to my mission night so I can see you before I leave Ontario next month and head back to New Zealand for the next 2 years. You don't want to miss out on being a part of this! And more importantly, I would love to see you!

We will be providing free coffee, tea and desserts/light refreshments.

Your part is simple:

RSVP and bring your lovely self. Feel free to pass the word on to others, but just have them or you RSVP to me so I know what numbers to expect.
Bring some treasure for our "Treasure Sale" (optional). If you have something of value and you would like to get rid of it, and you don't just want to give it to Goodwill or Value Village but want it to go to a good cause, please bring it and all sales/donations for these treasures will go directly to support my missions work (if you think I'm a good cause -wink!). Feel free to ask me for more details or if you have questions.

Please RSVP very soon and let me know what date and location you would like to attend.

DETAILS BELOW

Hope to see you next week!
Alison

RSVP: Alison
By email: hopejoyfaith @ gmail . com
By home phone: 705-637-0372 (call/leave a msg)
By cell: 705-770-8004 (call/txt)

BARRIE: Missions Dessert Night
When: Wednesday, July 21st, 7-9pm
Where: 55 Grants Way, Barrie (Sue Darlington's place)
Directions: From Hwy 400, take Essa Road Exit. Head south on Essa Rd (away from Kempenfelt Bay). Take the 1st right onto Ardagh Rd. Turn left at Grants Way. On the right is the house - 55 Grants Way.
Map: Click here for Google map.
(If you get lost, please call Sue Darlington 705-726-3452)

ORILLIA AREA: Missions Dessert Night
When: Thursday, July 22nd, 7-9pm
Where: 1296 Cambrian Rd, Severn (Christian Fellowship Chapel)
Directions: From Orillia & Hwy 11 Northbound: Take Burnside Line (past Orillia Square Mall), drive approx. 9 km. to Cambrian. Turn right onto Cambrian, drive 1.5 km.
From Gravenhurst/Hwy 11 Southbound: Take Hwy 11 South to New Brailey Line. Turn right on New Brailey, drive 5 km to Cambrian Rd. Turn left, drive 6 km. to Carlyon Line. Church is called "Christian Fellowship Chapel". Use side door, going downstairs.
Map: Click here for Google Map
(If you get lost, call Jenn Smart at 705-238-3990)

The Tension of Opposites (aka "You're an Alien!")

2010-06-16T12:25:00.060+12:00

As Christians, we are called to live a life of tension. For many of you, the term ‘tension’ immediately brought to mind the image of a tense person, anxiously striving to overcome the difficulties of life. This is not what I mean at all when I use the word 'tension'. I am speaking of the kind of tension where you can thrive and blossom in the scorching desert, or walk uprightly even though surrounded by evil, or rejoice in the midst of tragedy, or ooze out genuine love, when all you get is hatred and slander in return. As Christians, this is the very invitation we are given by Christ Jesus, our example. He carried such a tension, and He did it with grace. Picture this: Christ, the Creator of the universe, and the rich owner of all things, became poor and humbly came to earth, choosing to serve the very ones He created. THAT’S tension! Christ, the very Person of Love, came and loved those that hated Him, spat on Him and ultimately, killed Him. Now THAT’S tension! Having experienced the fulfillment of intimate communion with the Trinity in Heaven, Christ came and lived as a single man on earth. Again, THAT’S tension! In all that Christ said and did, He cut against the grain, He swam against the current, and He stepped away from the status quo crowd, and instead, invited others to follow Him. Whoa, THAT’S tension! Christ was intimately acquainted with tension. As His followers, we are also called to follow in His footsteps. We can try and fight it, or plug our ears to this truth, but there really is no way around it! If Christ did it, so must we.

I wrote about an example of this tension in one of my recent blogs here. This article described how we must have contentment in the present moment, while still longing for and believing for a different outcome to occur in the future. We are called to wait patiently (dare I say, to wait joyfully) while what we truly want is still as yet unseen... It is the tension of juggling seemingly opposite things: contentment and holy discontentment. It’s like saying, “I’m happy, but I’m not happy enough!” or “I’m satisfied, but I’m not fully satisfied!” It sounds a little crazy, if you ask me! But God does ask us to walk through life carrying this tension in balance.

A few years ago, I was introduced to the term, 'the tension of opposites,’ as I read Mitch Albom's book ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’. Here, he describes its meaning:

"Have I told you about the tension of opposites?" Morrie says, "Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted… A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle… A wrestling match. You could describe life that way."

Yes, the Christian life can often feel like two ends of a rubber band being pulled at once, or like a wrestling match! I'm sure you can relate to that analogy. I know I sure can! It sounds quite a lot like the Apostle Paul’s confessions in Romans 7:15-23: we desire to do one thing, but we keep getting pulled in another direction. It seems this tension and battle have been around since the beginning of time. I think it’s time we accept this as a reality of the Christian life, rather than shaking our fists at God and begging for Him to remove the tension. It is the very thing that shapes us and forges us into Christ’s likeness, IF we allow it to do its full work in us.

We can also see this tension in the Christian life when we look at the obvious differences in the value system of the world versus that of God’s Kingdom. The examples are plentiful:

If you want to be first, then go to the end of the line and be last. (Matt 20:16. Mark 10:31)

If you want to become great, be a servant. In other words, to go higher, you must go lower. (Matt 20:26)

You are rich when you are poor. (Matt 5:3. 2 Cor 8:9)

To hold on to what you cherish, you must let it go. (Matt 16:24-25)

To be wise in God’s eyes, you will look foolish in the world’s eyes. (1 Cor 1:27)

You’re supremely blessed when people ridicule you because of Christ. (Matt 5:11)

To truly live, you must lay your life down and die. (Matt 16:24-25. John 12:24-25)

It’s easy to see why the world looks at us like we are crazy people! And truth be told, we are! God’s Kingdom truly is upside down. It’s backwards! God’s way of doing things is so opposite to the ways of this world. Living for God is a surefire way to invite tension into your life. Hooray for us! So much of what we are called to do opposes the very spirit of this world. It involves having to completely unsubscribe to the world's way of thinking and adopt an entirely new set of values and perspectives. No wonder the Bible refers to us as “aliens and foreigners” on this earth! (1 Peter 2:11)

There is an extreme tension between these two ‘worlds’. You cannot take hold of God’s Kingdom by merely coasting. It’s going to take a fight. There’s a war on the inside, and most opt out of the battle before they ever receive the benefits of victory. So many choose to give up the tension when breakthrough and transformation are just around the corner. Now THAT’S tragedy, in my opinion!

But you may be asking, ‘WHY would I even want to BEAR this tension? Is it even worth it? Why not avoid the pain that comes with it and just numb myself, and dull the ache? Is there ANY apparent benefit to living within this tension?’

I’ve certainly asked this question, as a single woman in my early 30’s, in regards to remaining sexually pure. I have had countless discussions with others who have also asked this same question, ‘What’s the point of staying sexually pure when God made me a sexual being?’ To the world, sexual abstinence for a grown adult is pure insanity. Every day we are inundated with messages to give in to our desires and satisfy our emotional and physical cravings. Basically, the world teaches us to throw off self-control, toss away our moral compass, run far from the tension, and give in to all our whims. Yes, we certainly ARE aliens when we say no to this approach and choose, instead, to live WITH the tension that comes with sexual abstinence and moral purity, especially in our supposed ‘sexual peak’ years. Yes, I repeat. We are aliens. Crazy people. It’s who we are.

But in all honesty, most Christians don’t look much like aliens. Instead, they look quite normal. And I don’t mean that as a compliment. Can you imagine the God of the Universe finally meeting you, and His only comment is, “Well, you lived a normal life.” Somehow, I don’t think He sees it as a compliment either. Sadly, this is how many Christians live: normal, safe lives, free of the tension we are called to carry in this lifetime. After experiencing pain, confusion, or disappointment, many people decide to stop living this life of tension, throwing off restraint and, to put it bluntly, say, "To HELL with this tension! I can't handle it anymore!" and another one bites the dust, joining the normal masses on the wide, easy path that leads to death (Matt 7:13-14). In the Bible, it speaks of the path that leads to eternal life as being a narrow road that few ever find. (Personally, I believe that many do find it, then they discover the cost of walking on it, and ultimately, they decide it’s not worth the pain. But that is just my personal opinion.)

With so many opting out of this tension, there are masses of people on earth that never see the benefit of persevering in the thick of the battle! It’s like aborted, unborn potential that never goes full term. It could also be likened to a long engagement or betrothal that never reaches its consummation in a marriage union. The tragic thing in all of this, is that we have multitudes subscribing to the easy way out, and in the end, they still lose everything. Which is the better way? Is it better to live WITH the tension of the Christian life IN THIS LIFETIME, and then live in eternal bliss and peace in THE ETERNAL AGE TO COME? Or is it better to take it easy in this lifetime, going with the flow instead of fighting against it IN THIS LIFETIME, but then eternally living in torment and tension IN THE ETERNAL AGE TO COME? The choice is yours: Live for this life, or live for the life to come. That’s really what this all comes down to.

We cannot take any of our earthly possessions or comforts with us after we die (Matt 6:19-21). All we can take with us is the eternal part within us, our spirit. And we take with us the fruit of the spirit, and all the victories that were won as we partnered with God in the midst of the tensions of this world and in the face of great opposition. So, for the Christian, there is inevitable tension that comes with walking the narrow path of the godly life, yet this way has eternal benefits that outlast this perishing world. I don’t know about you, but that’s deeply encouraging to me!

It is my prayer that we are both challenged and encouraged to accept the unavoidable and direly necessary tension that comes with walking in God’s ways while living in this day and age. May God’s powerful grace empower you with inner strength as you follow Christ and His example. And may each day find you looking more and more like the alien you were meant to be. You were called to this upside down, backwards, radical lifestyle in the midst of a normal, status quo world. If you remember anything about this blog, remember this: you’re a crazy alien!

~Alison Lam.

"Let your heart be an altar."

2010-06-05T10:11:00.006+12:00

My brother has a gift for sending me spiritual treasures. Rich words full of pure gold. Words that stir my spirit, cause me to hunger more and draw me closer to the heart of God. I invite you into this experience as I share a piece of writing my brother sent me in my birthday card, a few days back. May it touch your heart, as it did mine, and inspire you to abandon yourself afresh to our merciful God. ~Alison

--

Dear Ali,

I thought of you in particular as I read through my Office of Readings one day back in the middle of Eastertide, which I have enclosed. I trust it will be meaningful. The expression of the author is almost a match for the profundity of the content. I was especially moved near the end by the extended blessing, and the command, "Let your heart be an altar." I pray for such a grace, total and in its humility, powerful. Sometimes I think there is only the heart.

Sincerely your brother,
Brian.

Here is the piece of writing Brian enclosed for me with my birthday card:

From a sermon of Saint Peter Chrysologus:

Each one of us is called to be both a sacrifice to God and his priest.

"I appeal to you by the mercy of God." This appeal is made by Paul, or rather, it is made by God through Paul, because of God's desire to be loved rather than feared, to be a father rather than a Lord. God appeals to us in his mercy to avoid having to punish us in his severity.

Listen to the Lord's appeal: In me, I want you to see your own body, your members, your heart, your bones, your blood. You may fear what is divine but why not love what is human? You may run away from me as the Lord, but why not run to me as your father? Perhaps you are filled with shame for causing my bitter passion. Do not be afraid. This cross inflicts a mortal injury, not on me, but on death. These nails no longer pain me, but only deepen your love for me. I do not cry out because of these wounds, but through them I draw you into my heart.

My body was stretched on the cross as a symbol not of how much I suffered, but of my all-embracing love. I count it no loss to shed my blood: it is the price I have paid for your ransom.

Come, then, return to me and learn to know me as your father, who repays good for evil, love for injury, and boundless charity for piercing wounds.

Listen now to what the Apostle urges us to do. "I appeal to you," he says, "to present your bodies as a living sacrifice." By this exhortation of his, Paul has raised all men to priestly status.

How marvellous is the priesthood of the Christian, for he is both the victim that is offered on his own behalf, and the priest who makes the offering. He does not need to go beyond himself to seek what he is to immolate ("kill" or "offer as a sacrifice by burning") to God: with himself and in himself he brings the sacrifice he is to offer God for himself. The victim remains and the priest remains, always one and the same. Immolated, the victim still lives: the priest who immolates cannot kill. Truly it is an amazing sacrifice in which a body is offered without being slain and blood is offered without being shed.

The Apostle says: "I appeal to you by the mercy of God to present your bodies as a living sacrifice." Brethren, this sacrifice follows the pattern of Christ's sacrifice by which he gave his body as a living immolation for the life of the world. He really made his body a living sacrifice, because, though slain, he continues to live. In such a victim death receives its ransom, but the victim remains alive. Death itself suffers the punishment. This is why death for the martyrs is actually a birth, and their end a beginning. Their execution is the door to life, and those who were thought to have been blotted out from the earth shine brilliantly in heaven.

Paul says: "I appeal to you by the mercy of God to present your bodies as a sacrifice, living and holy." The prophet said the same thing: "Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but you have prepared a body for me." Each of us is called to be both a sacrifice to God and his priest. Do not forfeit what divine authority confers on you. Put on the garmet of holiness, gird yourself with the belt of chastity. Let Christ be your helmet, let the cross on your forehead be your unfailing protection. Your breastplate should be the knowledge of God that he himself has given you. Keep burning continually the sweet-smelling incense of prayer. Take up the sword of the Spirit. Let your heart be an altar. Then, with full confidence in God, present your body for sacrifice. God desires not death, but faith; God thirsts not for blood, but for self-surrender; God is appeased not by slaughter, but by the offering of your free will.

(Saint Peter Chrysologus)

'Be Patient, life and love take time to unfold'

2010-05-31T10:01:00.005+12:00

My mother loves to read newspapers. She cuts out newspaper articles all the time and mails them to me in New Zealand. It's one of the things I look forward to getting in the post. In this specific case, she had a pile of newspaper articles waiting for me in Canada for when I visited this summer. I've now just taken the time to start reading the pile. This article stood out. It's GOOD so I can't help but share it! Turn off the distractions and devote 10 minutes to diving into the encouraging truths in this message. ~Ali.

Article Written by: Father Ron Rolheiser, 20th December 2009
Website: RonRolheiser.com

Scripture and Christian tradition emphasize that Jesus could only be born out of a chaste womb, just as Christian spirituality emphasizes He can only come to full bloom inside of a chaste heart. Why? Why this emphasis on chastity?

Chastity needs to be properly understood. For too long we have had an overly narrow and mostly false concept of chastity. Chastity is too commonly identified with sexual abstinence and sexuality is then seen as something that, in itself, militates against chastity and spirituality. But chastity is not the same thing as celibacy; indeed it is not even, first and foremost, a sexual concept. Someone can be chaste but not celibate, just as someone can be celibate but not chaste. My parents were not celibate, they gave birth to a large family, but they were wonderfully chaste persons. The reverse can also be true. Someone can be celibate but far from chaste.

What is chastity? We are chaste when we stand before the world, others and God in a way which allows them to be fully themselves without letting our own impatience, selfishness or unwillingness to remain in tension violate their reality and their natural unfolding. What is meant by that?

Allow me to present three images for this:

1. In her book Holy The Firm, Annie Dillard shares this story: One evening, alone in her cabin, she was watching a moth slowly emerge from its cocoon. The process was fascinating but interminably slow. At a point she lost patience and needed to get on to other things, so she picked up a candle and applied a little heat to the process. It worked. The added heat sped up the process and the moth emerged more quickly from its cocoon, but, since a natural process had been interfered with and unnaturally rushed, the moth emerged with ill-formed wings which didn't allow it to fly properly. A fault in chastity led to stunted growth.

2. The movie Sense and Sensibility, based on Jane Austen's classic novel, presents its leading character; a woman played by Emma Thompson, as someone who is asked to carry an extremely painful tension for a long time, one having to do with unrequited and unconsummated love. She has no one with whom she can really share her pain and her circumstance requires her to carry on as if she was not carrying this pain. She carries that tension for a long time, sublimating her pain into a graciousness that she extends even to the very persons who are the source of her tension. Only after a long time is the tension finally resolved and her forbearance in not forcing an earlier, premature resolution, her willingness to carry the tension to term, helps bring about deeper life for everyone, not least for herself. This is the essence of chastity.

3. After the Italian spiritual writer Carlo Carretto had spent a number of years living as a hermit in the Sahara desert, he was asked what message he would give to the world if someone asked him the question: What, in your solitude and prayer, do you hear God saying to those of us who are living active lives in the world? Carretto replied, God is saying: learn to wait, learn to wait for everything - for love, for fulfilment, for consummation, for God! Learning to wait, giving God and life the space to unfold as they need to, is the very essence of chastity.

NO SHORTCUTS

In a number of his books, Nikos Kazantzakis, both fondly and bitterly, makes this assertion: God, it seems, is never in a hurry, while we are always in a hurry. He's right: Life unfolds according to its own innate rhythms which try our patience and it will not let themselves be rushed, except at a cost. Life and love demand both the time and the space within which to unfold according to their own internal dictates. Whenever, because of impatience, selfishness or our unwillingness to stay inside a tension, we short-circuit that process we, in slight or deep ways, violate their reality.

Chastity is the virtue that invites us to live in patience, to wait, to respect what's other and to carry tension long enough so that the other can truly be other and gift can unfold precisely as gift.

The word sublime takes its root in the word sublimation. Nothing can be sublime unless there is first sublimation. Nobody gives birth to a baby without a long period of gestation, nobody writes a doctoral thesis in two hours, nobody creates an artistic masterpiece without long hours of sweat and labour, and nobody becomes a heroic individual without carrying unbearable tension. Cinderella only got to go to the ball after she had spent sufficient time in the ashes. Jesus only got to the glory and freedom of Easter Sunday by first sweating blood in the garden.

That is why the Messiah can only be born from a chaste womb and come fully to life only inside of a chaste heart. The birth of Christ allows for no shortcuts.

"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going." (Beverly Sills)

I am a Happy Missionary!

2010-05-24T03:11:00.003+12:00

Yo, wassup, peeps!

(Translation: Greetings to all my precious friends and family and supporters! How are you doing?)

I have a dream… Yup, a DREAM (AKA “an itty bitty wish”) for this humble little mission update. Here it is: Can you PLEASE PRESS REPLY and just say a quick hello to me. Pretty pretty please! Some of you I haven’t heard from in ages, and I would LOVE to hear from you! You can just give me a brief little email letting me know how you are doing and what you’re up to! I want to know how I can be praying for you more specifically. Or if that bores you, just press reply and tell me a cheesy joke. Anything! Okay, that’s all! Now I’ll get on with the update.


Lake Taupo, North Island of New Zealand. The natural beauty of this nation always astounds me. God is a wonderful painter of skies!

Confession: I am a Happy Missionary!

I am writing this update with joy in my heart, and a smile on my face. Yes, it’s true… I am a happy missionary. What a lovely concept and even better when it’s truly a reality. Thank you, Jesus!

The one word that I have repeatedly used to describe the past few months of my life is this: “Grateful” - I’m just soOOoo grateful for the gift of this past season. As I mentioned in my last update, I moved up to the North Island of New Zealand, to be an intern/student at the Tauranga House of Prayer from February until May. Wow, was it ever refreshing to be a student again! Coming out of a few years in leadership with Youth With A Mission, I really appreciate all the time, energy and effort that goes into running a program for young people. I am very grateful for the staff and leaders in both organizations that I was able to learn from and befriend. I have great respect for them, and for all of you who are in leadership and in positions of high responsibility. Blessings on you! May you also experience this same joy!

Five years into the missionary life and I'm still laughing joyously. What's the secret? God is ENJOYABLE. Amen!

“Alison, what did you DO in a House of Prayer for 3 months... and did anything SIGNIFICANT happen in that time?"

Well, I’m glad you asked! Let me just sum it up simply: For 3 months, I have spent 5 days a week in a prayer room for about 4 hours each day, seeking the face of Christ in prayer and worship with about 50 other passionate God-seekers. I cannot begin to even put into words the transforming power of sitting myself before the face of God day in and day out, with no other focus but HIS FACE. My eyes and my heart have been seared for life. That’s the only way that I can describe it. I cannot turn my face away from the God of the Universe. They say when you find your Beloved that you cannot help but stare. And that is how I feel about God. I can’t stop staring at Him, talking with Him, doing things with Him, talking ABOUT Him to others, and just smiling into space as I ponder His goodness and all the things I love about Him. That’s what you do when you’re in love. I mean, I’ve loved God the past 10 years of my life, but it is like I have re-met God in a whole new way this year. I am so very very grateful for this. I don't really have words to express this gratitude in my heart...

I know that doesn’t even touch upon the depth of what I have been up to the past few months, but that’s all that’s important, really. I could share about the excellent teaching I received a few times each week, the wonderful friends I made, the spiritual disciplines I have incorporated into my regular life, and the other peripheral activities I was involved in, but it all seems so secondary to the central thing: FACE TO FACE fellowship with God Himself!!

FACE to FACE fellowship with God.... This is what we were all made for.

Where am I now?

After graduation from the House of Prayer internship at the start of May, I flew back to Canada last week. So, I’ve been on Canadian soil for a week, and I’ll be here for 3 months for personal visits, to be an Aunt to my first little niece (!!!!!), process work visa applications, do other official stuff and then to prepare for the next season of ministry. This is my first Canadian summer since 2006 so I’m stoked! With all my winter visits the past few years I'd forgotten Canada was green (wink)! I return to New Zealand on August 23rd, so, if you’re in Ontario or surrounding area, get in touch with me soon and let’s catch up! If you’d like me to come share at your church, or home group or just have a personal visit, please email/phone me and let me know! Contact info is below.

In the meantime, I’ve updated my website quite a bit and I’ve gotten back into writing poetry and posting it online. You can visit me at: AlisonLam.com (Note: I am no longer on Facebook or Twitter to free up space in my life. So, email me, phone me, or send me some lovely snail mail!)

So, that’s all from me this time. And remember my itty-bitty wish… just PRESS REPLY and say hello, tell me what you’re up to, how I can pray for you, or just tell me a silly joke.
Thank-you for your friendship, and thanks for reading to the bottom!

In the joy of Christ,
Alison

P.S. Here’s how you can reach me until Aug 23rd.

Mailing Address:
Alison Lam  
99 Front St
Bracebridge, Ontario
P1L 1J6
Canada

Phone:
+1 (705) 637-0372 (Eastern standard time)  
Skype Phone ID: alison_lam

How our mail is really delivered. And you thought it travelled in vans, trucks and planes! Snail mail rules the world!

Back in Canada for 3 Months!

2010-05-16T09:14:00.004+12:00

Hello friends and family and anyone else visiting my website! I just arrived back on Canadian soil! I'll be based in Bracebridge, Ontario, at my mother's home. Check out the Contact section of this website for my up to date contact info (phone number and mailing address and email addy). I won't be on Facebook anymore, so please email me, send me letters or postcards, or phone me/skype me! I want to keep in touch!

I had some great flights and some great friends to hang out with in Auckland, and LA on my journey back to Canada. And I am blessed to be reunited with family now. I have a lovely room and flat to live in, and it is already a safehaven for me to meet with God. I feel the Lord's hand on so many things already. And His presence and His face is following me. He is inescapable! He is all around me! I am excited for what these next few months have in store. Bring it on, Lord!

*AN OFFICIAL EMAIL UPDATE WILL BE SENT OUT SOON! IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE IT, PLEASE EMAIL ME (hopejoyfaith@gmail.com) AND TELL ME YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ON MY MISSION UPDATE LIST*

Lots of love,
Ali

Forgotten Treasures of the Desert

2010-04-24T12:40:00.005+12:00

I’d like to take this blog today to introduce you to some of my new friends: the forgotten desert mothers of the early church. You see, I’ve been studying and reading these days on ‘the desert fathers’. Basically, they were the first monks and founders of the monastic movement within the Christian world - those who fled the modern society of its day to dwell with the Lord in the desert of Egypt, and make radically severe lifestyle commitments, in order to flee from sin, and to run into the saving arms of Christ in intimate communion. In my study of these desert fathers I got hungry to find more literature on the WOMEN who followed radically after the Lord in such a manner. Surely, it’s not just the dudes that did this! And lo and behold, the truth of the matter is that there were thousands of women who migrated into the Egyptian desert to meet with God! There is not much recorded about them (compared to the fathers) but there’s enough to have a peek into their world centuries ago… and get to know their hearts through their sayings and stories. And I would love to share some of the treasures I've discovered!

Today, I want you to meet Amma Sarah (Amma stands for ‘mother’, the counterpart to ‘Abba’ which stands for ‘father’) and I would like to share a bit of her story as written about in the book, The Forgotten Desert Mothers by Laura Swan. I felt quite touched by Amma Sarah’s story, as her heart’s desire is a desire of my own heart, and I pray that as you read this that you also would hear the echo in your own spirit of this heart cry for deep, undistracted union with Christ. And may we ALL hear the resounding echo of this woman’s life that says that in the desert of our own lives, we can flee all that holds us imprisoned, and run after Christ's glorious face and FEEL His presence.
~Alison

[From The Forgotten Desert Mothers by Laura Swan, (p36-41):]

Amma Sarah was a native of Upper Egypt. Born into a wealthy Christian family, she was well educated and a voracious reader. Moving to the vicinity of a women’s monastery in the desert of Pelusium, Sarah lived alone for many years near the river in a cell with a terraced roof. She attended to the needs of the nearby community.

Eventually Sarah received the monastic garb and lived in a closer relationship with the community, serving as a spiritual elder. She continued to follow the ascetic life by living alone in a cave by the river for seven years. She died around her eightieth year.

Amma Sarah was deeply concerned that her heart never be divided in her pursuit of God. Much of her desert struggle was centered on calming inner distractions and cultivating those things that brought her close to God. “Lust” and “fornication” were not so much about bodily passions but rather anything or anyone that kept her heart distracted from God. The movement toward a deeper and more profound awareness of God is a spiraling movement toward simplicity that occurs when we voluntarily let go of all our attachments that keep us from moving deeper within. This is not a rejection of the created world, all of which is God’s delightful gift to us, but rather is the rejection of our tendencies to grasp aspects of creation in a way that diminishes our unity with God.

Sarah’s goal was purity of heart. As one grows and deepens in purity of heart, one deepens in pure love for Christ. She lived with a deep sense of awe for God. She sought neither special treatment nor recognition for herself.

Sarah models for us the gift of tenacity and focus on the final goal of life: oneness with God. She sought to eliminate distractions that she experienced as stumbling blocks to total union. This is never an easy journey, and her response was to pray for strength to endure and move into freedom. She avoided neither the challenge nor the pain; she stayed with her struggles until there was resolution.

1. It was related of Amma Sarah that for thirteen years she waged warfare against the demon of fornication. She never prayed that the warfare should cease, but she said, “O God, give me strength.”

Although Sarah may have been a deeply passionate woman, keenly aware of her sexuality, fornication principally meant anything that possessed her heart and separated her from God. A part of our being belongs only to God and can only be satisfied by God. Replacing God with anyone or anything is idolatry. Sarah, in her awareness of her own weaknesses and of God as the source of her strength, challenges us not to run but to stand firm in our persistent struggle with personal problems and with all that keeps us from God.

2. It was said concerning her that for sixty years she lived beside a river and never lifted her eyes to look at it.
Amma Sarah was not easily distracted. She allowed her surroundings to support her without any need to possess them. She so intensely focused on cultivating total union with God that it seems she was unaware of her surroundings. Today, we might better appreciate gazing lovingly and reflectively on that river in order to move into union with God.

3. Amma Sarah said, “If I prayed God that all people should approve of my conduct, I should find myself a penitent at the door of each one, but I shall rather pray that my heart may be pure toward all.”
Amma Sarah did not seek the approval of others; likewise, she remained nonjudgmental in her attitude toward others and their own journeys toward God. As in any other time in church history, there were strong personalities in Sarah’s day, but she did not follow fads. She sought to remain true to her own simple path toward God.

4. She also said, “I put out my foot to ascend the ladder and I place death before my eyes before going up it.”

Ascending a ladder was a well-known and understood metaphor in Amma Sarah’s day. To ascend a ladder was to draw close to God and deepen in spiritual maturity. The metaphors of the ladder and of keeping death ever before one’s eyes figure strongly in desert and monastic spirituality. We are exhorted to remain firmly focused on our unity with God. Being mindful of eventual death need not be depressing; rather it can give us the freedom to make choices that support and nurture the goal: abiding in God’s unconditional love.

5. Some monks of Scetis came one day to visit Amma Sarah. She offered them a small basket of fruit. They left the good fruit and ate the bad. So she said to them, “You are the true monks of Scetis.”

Desert asceticism does not seek to draw attention to self. Ascetical practices were quiet and unobtrusive. The desert ascetic practiced self-denial in small daily ways, such as choosing simpler and less appetizing foods, just enough sleep on a sufficient but not necessarily comfortable bed, and prayers spread throughout the day. Self-denial was cultivated in order to deepen one’s relationship to God, to deepen in compassion, and to build bridges toward others.

The true ascetic seeks neither to exalt nor to denigrate self. Humility is to know oneself as created by God, as interdependent with others and deeply loved by God. Humility helps us to embrace and deepen our sense of connectedness.

6. She also said to the brothers, “It is I who am a man, you who are women.”
Sarah knew who she was and did not waiver – this is genuine humility. She both challenges the arrogance of presuming one is better than another due to gender, education, position in society, or anything else, and challenges her hearer to pursue spiritual maturity.

God Loves Marriage and Relationships!

2010-04-18T20:19:00.007+12:00

God loves marriage and intimate relationships. So, since I am made in His image, I love to talk about this topic a lot! I have a fervent passion to see God-honouring relationships established on earth as it is in Heaven. So, while doing some study in this area, I came across some nuggets of relational wisdom that I wanted to pass on to all of you. Whether you're married or single or 'in a relationship', it's good stuff for all of us! If you're single or dating, still check out the links on marriage. If you're married, still check out the links for singles/dating. We can all learn from each other!

Pastor Perry Noble, who leads Newspring Church in the United States, has a blog of his own with a lot of wisdom. He is a man of STRONG words and I appreciate his clear, firm opinions. HE'S A STRAIGHT SHOOTER that's for sure! If you've heard his iTunes podcasts or audio teachings online from his church, you'll know what I mean! At first I had to get past how fierce he can be in his tone, but he does know a thing or two, and it comes from a heart of love!

Check out these awesome blogs and resources below! And don't forget the *BONUS* at the end!

10 Things I've Learned About Marriage
Part 1:
http://www.perrynoble.com/2010/04/13/10-things-ive-learned-about-marriage-in-ten-years-part-one/
Part 2:
http://www.perrynoble.com/2010/04/14/10-things-ive-learned-about-marriage-in-ten-years-part-two/

7 Reasons Why Marriages Fail
http://www.perrynoble.com/2009/12/01/seven-reasons-why-marriages-fail/

15 Ways to Destroy Your Marriage
http://www.perrynoble.com/2009/09/18/15-ways-to-destroy-your-marriage/

7 Reasons Why Marriages Get Into Trouble
http://www.perrynoble.com/2008/04/02/seven-reasons-why-marriages-get-into-trouble/

Dating & Relationships
http://www.perrynoble.com/2009/10/21/relationships/

"Nice" Christian Boys and Girls Make Me Sick
http://www.perrynoble.com/2007/09/11/nice-christian-boys-and-girls-make-me-sick/

5 Things a Single Dude Needs to Know
http://www.perrynoble.com/2006/11/15/five-things-a-single-dude-needs-to-know/

6 Signs the Dating Relationship is in Trouble
http://www.perrynoble.com/2007/11/01/six-signs-the-dating-relationship-is-in-trouble/

Dating & How to Know If We Should Break Up
http://www.perrynoble.com/2009/11/11/iwe-should-break-up-because/

*BONUS*
A True Love Story that'll touch your heart!
http://www.perrynoble.com/2007/03/28/a-true-love-story/

Chastity of the Heart [Part 2]

2010-04-15T16:26:00.008+12:00

[The following blog is a collection of direct excerpts from the book Real Sex: The naked truth about chastity, by Lauren F. Winner. I highly recommend this book to both singles and married folk. It has some transforming truths in it. Get a copy online or at a bookstore or your local library.]

Written by Lauren F. Winner

Virginity of the Heart:
Inhabiting chastity whether single or married

Many recent proponents of modesty and chastity have pointed out that chastity can be alluring, even erotic. Dressing modestly, writes Wendy Shalit in A Return to Modesty, "is now what is sexy - and maybe it always was. Certainly sexual modesty may damp down superficial allure, the kind of allure that inspires a one-night stand. But the kind of allure that lasts - that is what modesty protects and inspires." According to Shalit and fellow travelers, if you are having trouble attracting the right guy, you should perhaps consider covering up a bit - trade in your miniskirts for more modest garb, and draw firm lines about physical comportment.

This argument for modest dress and behaviour is almost always aimed at women. The underlying message is that quality guys are turned off, not turned on, by plunging necklines and spandex hip-huggers. I recently attended a women's retreat where one of the workshops was about singleness. The speaker, whom I'll call Myrtle, encouraged the single women in the audience to think carefully about what type of guy they were looking for. "You want a Prince Charming," Myrtle said, "and Prince Charmings are attracted to modest women. You might attract certain men by sporting skimpy skirts, but you won't attract the kind of man you really want to be with."

It's encouraging to think that mature Christians are more interested in character than cleavage; yet there is something unsettling about this assurance that chastity will be the erotic mystery that will lead Mr. Right (or Miss Right) to our door. Prince Charming can begin to rival God as the object of our attentions. Myrtle ended her talk on this note: "What we single women have to do is no more and no less than faithfully pray that our perfect guy is out there. We don't need to hunt him down, we just need to wait for the Lord to deliver him to us. We don't need to worry about him. Instead we need to focus on ourselves, becoming the type of pure, modest woman that our Prince Charming will be on the lookout for. We need to devote ourselves to prayer, humility, and grace. We need to continue becoming godly women, so that, when the time is right, we will have those godly characteristics that the godly man we dream about will love."

I'm not disputing the desirability of the chaste woman or man. It may well be that one of the benefits of practicing chastity is that you attract friends and admirers who admire chastity. But attracting others is not the goal of chastity. Indeed, if Myrtle is focused on catching the eye of a guy who likes chaste women, she may not really be inhabiting chastity at all.

Fourth-century preacher St. John Chrysostom made the same point when teaching on a passage in Genesis. Working with the premise that not a single word of scripture is accidental, Chrysostom asks why Genesis says, of Rebekah, "She was a virgin, who no man had known." Isn't that redundant? Isn't a virgin, by definition, one whom no one has known sexually? No, said Chrysostom, "It is not mere repetition when Rebekah is called a virgin twice... Many virgins keep their bodies uncorrupted, but fill their souls with all kinds of licentiousness. They adorn themselves, attract innumerable admirers, and excite the eyes of young men, setting ambushes and traps for them." Genesis' ostensible repetition shows that Rebekah was not an ambushing tease, but "was a virgin in both body and soul." Augustine makes the same point when, in his commentary on Psalm 147, he says that lifelong virginity "of the flesh belongs to a few; virginity of the heart must be the concern of all."

Myrtle seems to be working toward becoming, principally, the kind of woman Prince Charming wants, which incidentally may be the kind of woman God wants. Her priorities, I would suggest, need to flip-flop. We are to become persons of God, and this may bear the incidental fruit of attracting a great partner. For the point of chastity is not that you turn your attention away from other people to make you more attractive to them but that you turn your attention away from sexual and romantic entanglements with other people and orient yourself toward God.

Marriage:
A Prophetic Picture

Marriage presupposes fidelity, and married people are a sign to the church of God's own radical fidelity toward all of us. He loves us, and is faithful to us, when we cheat on Him, He loves us and is faithful to us when we insist that our love has died on the vine. Marriages are made in part to remind of God's relentless fidelity.

The Author Lauren Winner's Concluding Remarks From The Book:

Sometimes adopting chastity is as simple as reading a book like this one, or attending a lecture, and then making a change in your life. But for many of us, it is the relearning of a basic story. It requires prayer, teaching, work, reformation, even weeping. It requires that we tell each other the story of the gospel, and the narrative of chastity, over and over and over. To embrace chastity is to reconstruct a culture, and the reconstruction of a culture doesn't happen overnight"

Sending away our sins is important because a sin that is forgiven is forgiven. It is gone. We may not unlearn overnight the lessons that sinning taught over years, but we no longer have to do the sins. We can abandon sinning. We can set it aside. Or as Jesus says 'Go and sin no more.' To think of spiritual formation as seventeen discrete things is already to side-step the point. The gospel, after all, is not a compartmentalized approach to God, but rather an engagement to love.

Liturgical Prayer:
The Collect for Purity

"Almighty God, unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of thy Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love thee, and worthily magnify thy holy name; through Christ our Lord"

[May this stir up some good discussions in your heart with the Lord, and in your community. I encourage you to get the book: Real Sex: the naked truth about chastity, by Lauren F. Winner]

Joyfully His,
Ali

Chastity of the Heart [Part 1]

2010-04-11T20:19:00.002+12:00

"Chastity makes us familiar with God." (John Climacus)

What is chastity? One way of putting it is that chastity is doing sex in the Body of Christ - doing sex in a way that befits the Body of Christ, and that keeps you grounded, and bounded, in the community. As we've seen, that means sex only within marriage - which means, in turn, abstinence if you're not married, and fidelity if you are.

Sex is, in Paul's image, a joining of your body to someone else's. In baptism, you have become Christ's Body, and it is Christ's Body that must give you permission to join His Body to another body. In the Christian grammar, we have no right to sex. The place where the church confers that privilege on you is the wedding; weddings grant us license to have sex with one person. Chastity, in other words, is a fact of gospel life. In the New Testament, sex beyond the boundaries of marriage... is simply off limits. To have sex outside those bounds is to commit an offense against the Body. Abstinence before marriage, and fidelity within marriage; any other kind of sex is embodied apostasy

Chastity, then, is a basic rule of the community, but it is not a mere rule. It is also a discipline. The spiritual disciplines are things that we do; they are things that we practice. They are ways we orient our whole selves - our bodies and minds and hearts, our communities and rhythms and ways of being in the world - toward God.

Chastity, too, is a spiritual discipline. Chastity is something you do, it is something you practice. It is not only a state - the state of being chaste - but a disciplined, active undertaking that we do as part of the Body. It is not the mere absence of sex but an active conforming one's body to the arc of the gospel.

The disciplines of Christian sexuality can be seen, too, when we look at sex between married people. Here the discipline of sex is twofold. Fidelity is a discipline: just as most single people want to have sex, period, so married people (even really happily married people) find themselves wanting to have sex with someone other than their spouse. And restraining those impulses is itself a discipline. (Indeed, it is worth pointing out that practicing chastity before you are married trains you well for chastity after you are married; it stands to reason that those who are promiscuous before marriage may be more likely to cheat on their spouses once married.) But so too is having sex with your husband or wife a discipline. Sometimes we have sex with our spouse because we feel desire, because we want to express the intimacy we feel, because we are turned on; but sometimes a husband and wife have sex precisely because they don't feel desire or intimacy. We recognize that sex can do good work between a husband and wife, that it can do the work of rekindling that desire and intimacy, that bodies have something to teach us, and that sex is not about spirits communing, but about persons being bodies together.

Speaking of spiritual discipline seems to elevate chastity from gritting-my-teeth-and-stonily-avoiding-sex to something lofty, noble, and spiritual. But when I speak of chastity as a spiritual discipline, I also mean something eminently practical. Speaking of chastity as a spiritual discipline immediately connects it to the other disciplines. In the spiritual life, these disciplines cannot be severed from one another.

Prayer - fixing on one's contact and communion with God - is the bedrock discipline. All the other spiritual disciplines, like fasting and chastity, depend upon prayer and are, in fact, forms of prayer.

Prayer and Bible study are basic, but I think fasting can be a good companion to chastity as well. I say this as one who is not a big fan of fasting. In fact, I began fasting only fairly recently, and only because my Pastor more or less insisted. So now, once a week, I give my day over to this discipline. I drink fruit juice, but I don't eat. ("Isn't chugging V8 Splash sort of cheating?" I asked my pastor when he first suggested protein-enriched juice might be allowed. He chuckled. "Just try it. All the juice in the world won't make you feel like you've bitten into a hamburger.") I know in advance, now, that I won't be as good a writer or teacher on the days that I fast. I know I might get headaches. I know that by late afternoon I might be short-tempered with anyone who crosses my path.

But I'm beginning to understand some of the benefits of fasting; I'm beginning to see that I recognize my dependence on God more clearly when I'm hungry; I'm beginning to chip away at some of the stupor that comes with always being sated. I've not achieved that highly evolved state where I look forward to it. I wish there were an easier, less annoying way to reap the fruits of fasting, but I don't think there is. What fasting is slowly teaching me is the simple lesson that I am not utterly subject to my bodily desires. I am not captive to this desire.

St. Francis of Assisi famously called his body "Brother Ass." It is fasting, I think, that helps us say to our body, You are Brother (or Sister), but you are also Ass. Fasting, in other words, is the practice that most obviously helps us learn to discipline our physical selves. A woman of the early church known as holy Syncletia taught that "bodily poison is cured by still stronger antidotes; so fasting and prayer drive sordid temptations from us." I have a happily married friend who puts that in a modern idiom. He says that when he wants to have sex with someone other than his wife, he fasts. In remembering that he can discipline his desire for food, my friend reminds himself that he can discipline his desire for sex, too.

Of course, premarital abstinence is different from fasting, because when you fast you know you will eat again. Premarital abstinence is different from keeping vigil, because during your vigil you can be confident that you will sleep again. Unmarried Christians have no guarantee that they will ever get married.They have no guarantee of licit sex. Thus to practice premarital chastity is at times to feel as if you are being forever forbidden the satisfaction of a normal appetite.

Understanding chastity as a discipline helps us quiet that nagging voice in our head that says, "I'm being made to give up something that is totally normal and natural!" Of course, the desire for sex is normal and natural, but many spiritual disciplines - the so-called disciplines of abstinence - center on refraining from something normal. One who keeps vigil is abstaining from sleep in order to abide with God; one who fasts is abstaining from food in order to see that one is truly hungry for God; one who spends time alone forgoes the company of others in order to deepn a conversation with God; one who practices simplicity avoids luxury in order to attend more clearly to God. And the unmarried Christian who practices chastity refrains from sex in order to remember that God desires your person, your body, more than any man or woman ever will.

With all aspects of ascetic living, one does not avoid or refrain from something for the sake of rejecting it, but for the sake of something else. In this case, one refrains from sex with someone other than one's spouse for the sake of union with Christ's Body. That union is the fruit of chastity.

[Please stay tuned for Part 2 of this discussion of Chastity, using excerpts from the book, Real Sex by Lauren F. Winner]

EASTER REFLECTIONS: Mourning into Dancing

2010-04-04T13:11:00.013+12:00

I attended two Anglican services this Easter long weekend in Tauranga, New Zealand. The Lord specifically put it on my heart last week to attend one service for His Death, and one for His Resurrection. So, on Friday evening, I went to St. Mary's Anglican Church in Mt. Maunganui for the evening the Tenebrae service or also called the "Service of Shadows". This was attended by a scant 8 people or so. It was a very simple service, devoted completely to slowly seeing the light of Christ's life being stomped out through the layered rejections, denials, and abandonment of those closest to Him, His flogging and humiliation, in the lead up to His ultimate death at the Cross. Through the service, done through liturgical readings, the flickering candles that are lain on two beams in the shape of a cross in the centre of the room, are blown out one by one. With each candle's light vanishing, my heart mourned, for Christ's light and life was slowly being snuffed out. His death was imminent. It was very significant for me, as I feel especially this year, a heightened sense of communion with Christ in His death. It felt like I was dying with Him, each time a candle's light was blown out. As the last candle flickered, my heart silently cried out, 'Do not leave me, Lord, in darkness! Let me die with you!' And as the last candle in the centre was blown out, the sun had set outside as well, and we were left in darkness. Silence fell. Then, a bell was slowly struck repeatedly, and with each strike, my heart broke. How could I go on? Then came the beautiful Latin song, 'Pie Jesu', which means 'O Sweet Jesus' or 'Merciful Jesus' and the lyrics translated into English beautifully say,

Pie Jesu (O Sweet Jesus / Merciful Jesus)

Lord, have mercy
Lord, have mercy
You who take away the sins of the world
Grant them rest
Grant them rest

Lamb of God, Lamb of God
Lamb of God, Lamb of God
You who take away the sins of the world
Grant them rest Grant them rest
Rest everlasting, everlasting

I had written a poem right before leaving my room and driving over to the church for the Service of Shadows. You can read the poem here. It shares quite well of what is going on in my spirit. I went through the rest of the weekend, hopeful, yet in mourning: Christ has died. I have died with Him. My heart ached, but I knew that hope would be triumphant. He will rise again, and I with him, into eternal life! I just had to wait patiently for His joyful resurrection on Sunday.

So, today, this Easter Sunday, I woke up and headed out to St. Mary's for the Easter Resurrection Service. The parking lot was empty. No one was inside the church. My heart was very sad. I guess I would have to celebrate His resurrection and find my joy in solitude with the Lord alone. So I headed out to the beach just down the road, and found a vacant log strewn on the windswept beach. I listened to a worship song symbolizing marriage with our Beloved, and cried a few tears of longing. It was Resurrection Sunday, but I did not feel resurrected. I felt filled with a greater sadness and disappointment than I had felt on Friday, the night of His death. As the waves crashed on the shore, my cry came out to the heavens, "Lord, take me now. Take me to you now. I don't want to be here. Take me now." My heart was so dissatisfied with life on earth, away from my Beloved, and I was deeply grieved that somehow there was no church service going on when it had been advertised. I felt jipped. So I just sat there... read a book, watched the surfers out on the ocean, watched people stroll by, pondered life for quite some time. After a time, I looked at my watch, and IT HIT ME! Daylight savings time had kicked in last night! I hadn't changed my clock or my watch! My heart dared to hope again.... maybe the service hadn't even started yet! Sure enough, I had been mistaken! I had originally arrived 1 HOUR too early to the church, hence, why it was closed and no one was there!!!! My heart began to leap within me! I will experience His resurrection life today with other believers! I run back to the car, and with minutes to spare, I arrive at the church to a full parking lot and a full church, filled with others seeking His resurrection! My thought was, 'God, You truly are watching over every detail of my life. How can I mourn when You are so utterly GOOD?'

This service was much more active and symbolic of joy and life, still done in liturgical style, with kids involved in various parts of the service. I discovered that in the lead up to Easter, in the Anglican church, they are not able to say "Hallelujah" or "Gloria" for 6 whole weeks! This culminates in the repeated declaration of "HALLELUJAH" and "GLORIA" resounding from the mouths of the young children at the front! And then the rest of us joined in the declaration! What a joy to declare these words! What beauty can be found in the liturgical service, with all its profound moments. We of the 'contemporary charismatic circles' could learn a thing or two from the traditions of the earlier churches... And then they went into the most interesting song I have heard in a long time. Its tune and its beat could only be described as 'bubbly' and 'bouncy' with a 'skip in its step' as we sang out. At first, the song surprised me, and then I realized how POWERFUL it truly was, and how fitting to what God has spoken to me this past week about his build up of JOY coming out of a place of death. How mysterious is the dance of our Beloved: in the midst of such darkness and suffering, we find our Lord DANCING. Please take time to read these lyrics. May they powerfully touch your spirit as they have mine.

Lord Of The Dance
Words by Sydney Carter (b. 1915)

(This hymn is suitable as the second hymn sung after the marriage ceremony, which is in praise and celebration of the union, and is also suitable to sing at Easter weddings.)

I danced in the morning when the world was begun,
And I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun,
I came down from heaven and I danced on the earth;
At Bethlehem I had my birth.

Chorus:
Dance, then, wherever you may be;
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance, said He.

I danced for the scribe and the pharisee,
But they would not dance and they would not follow me.
I danced for the fishermen, for James and John
They came with me and the dance went on.

Chorus:
Dance, then, wherever you may be;
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance, said He.

I danced on the Sabbath and I cured the lame;
The holy people said it was a shame.
They whipped and they stripped and they hung me on high;
They left me there on a cross to die.

Chorus:
Dance, then, wherever you may be;
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance, said He.

I danced on a Friday when the sky turned black
It's hard to dance with the devil on your back.
They buried my body and they thought I'd gone;
But I'm the dance and I still go on.

Chorus:
Dance, then, wherever you may be;
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance, said He.

They cut me down and I leapt up high;
I am the life that will never, never die;
I'll live in you if you'll live in Me
I am the Lord of the Dance said He.

Chorus:
Dance, then, wherever you may be;
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the dance, said He.

And I will end this blog post with that. I have come alive to the Lord of the Dance, and forever He and I shall dance into eternity. Blessed be our Saviour who turns our mourning into dancing, and brings JOY in the midst of PAIN.

Thank you, Lord, for the Great Exchange.
I love you. ~Alison.